Though it's the first clear day in a carnival goldfish's lifetime, perhaps it would have been better to not leave the apartment at all today, San Francisco.

Take this smattering of petty atrocities on the front page of SFgate.com:

•Workers crushed in PG&E boiler collapse, one dead;

•Panhandler shot to death by cops;

•Driver shot on freeway in Richmond;

•Santa Rosa man shot to death (for those scoring at home, that's three consecutive headlines with the word "shot" in them);

•20-year-old man killed in San Pablo (he, too, was shot — but Chron copy editors draw the line at four straight "shots" — or else they are shot);

•A local man pulled a Sonny Bono and died while skiing;

•Mormon leader Gordon Hinckley dies — yet Gordon Liddy and John Hinckley live on. Why God? Why?

•Finally, it's going to rain again. A lot.

Stay out of the news, people,

— Joe Eskenazi