Blogs

By Andy Van De Voorde

Bay Guardian witness Jody Colley wasn’t sure about a lot of things when she took the stand again Thursday in her former employer’s predatory pricing lawsuit against the Weekly.

Colley, who was the Guardian’s sales boss until she left last year for the East Bay Express, told Weekly attorney Ivo Labar she “wasn’t sure” what percentage of the Guardian’s revenue came from Internet sales.

When asked whether the Guardian, which is accusing the Weekly of selling its ads too cheap, ever had marketing materials that claimed Weekly prices were too high for its circulation, she said she “didn’t remember.”

When asked if it was true that there are many niche Web sites that sell advertising in competition with weekly papers, she said, “I guess.”

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As if air travel wasn't already an expensive, frustrating pain in the ass, word comes today from Laughing Squid that the TSA now requires travelers (at least out of SFO) to remove all electronic devices from carry-ons at security checkpoints so they can be scanned in a separate bin. Oy. Imagined consequences include slower security lines, people losing valuable equipment and, of course, people losing their patience and their sanity in the process. Potential outraged bitchers and ranters can refer to the newly-launched TSA blog. (via Laughing Squid)

-- Brian Bernbaum

In case you haven't laughed at their disfigured remnants already, the current crop of stencil-street-art type promotional posters plugging the fourth Rambo movie are plastered all over San Francisco. But something about the guerilla art style has drawn its fair share of mischievous interpreters, including the Rambo/Rimbaud side-by-side above and the Rambo/Banksy take (via copyranter), and several shots posted by SFist, both elevating Rambo to hilarious musical proportions. Thankfully the movie opened this week, so our aspiring street artists can move on to bigger and better targets. (via Gridskipper)

-- Brian Bernbaum

Yes, you've heard it before, but "What's the hardest thing about learning how to rollerblade? Telling your dad that you're gay." But when you live in San Francisco, your dad already knows. The most difficult part is trying to safely reach the bottom of these crazy hills without zipping down to an embarrassing, screaming death. Thankfully, Nike has released the SPARQ Parachute to create drag for athletes and make a lap around Golden Gate Park look like a NASA shuttle landing. Plus, now you can tackle those steep streets safely and have a parachute matching the colors of your neon green helmet and spandex. Dad would be so proud. — James Y Lee

Every day SFWeekly publishes stories with comments enabled, and every day you turds come by and shit on them. Why do we take it? Because it pays. Every time you comment, we get paid. "Online community"? You're a fucking sucker. Your two cents adds up to millions of dollars in aggregate for sites like YouTube, Yelp, SFist, and us. So now you know. This is Thursday's Kings of Commenting.

-By Web Editor, David Downs

Recently we said the Raiders suck and the Niners suck.
Naturally, Titan's suck dick replies:

you are a piece of shit

We also said soccer sluts need HPV vaccines, duh!:
annie says:

you're poking fun at the ridiculous right-winger hysteria, but in using words like slut, you're simply perpetuating the idea that it's OK to refer to girls this way.

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Tax day is coming and I know it's hard to fight Uncle Sam to keep a few bucks and not lose. I mean, not even a vampire-hunter could win the battle. However, take a look at these 13 overlooked tax deductions to help you hold onto that much needed cash. — James Y Lee

By Andy Van De Voorde
Executive Associate Editor, Village Voice Media

Bay Guardian executive editor Tim Redmond took the stand in his newspaper’s predatory-pricing lawsuit against the Weekly Wednesday and spent most of his time happily trashing his longtime rival for sins both small and large -- and sometimes metaphysical.

“I don’t like the SF Weekly because I don’t think they have a soul,” Redmond told Weekly attorney Ivo Labar. “They’re not part of San Francisco like we are.”

It wasn’t the only melodramatic rhetoric to emerge during the testimony of the self-described “progressive” journalist, who took the stand wearing a puffy jacket and a baseball cap, but removed both before being sworn in.

Labar also questioned Redmond about an internal memo he’d written in 1997 in which he described his paper’s “competitive battle with the SF Weekly as more than just a simple business challenge. We see it as … a struggle for the soul of the American news media.”

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While the "one less fixed gear" bumper sticker pictured here may, as SFist says, embody an intense "anti-hipster hipster cool," and signal the inevitable decline in the awesomeness of San Francisco's famed annoying hipsters to our Seattle counterparts, I can't help but wonder if the Volvo in question should feature another sticker next to it reading "one more fossil fuel-burning car," because as annoying as fixed gear-riding posers are, generally speaking, drivers are still worse. (via SFist)

-- Brian Bernbaum

From 1967 to 1997 the Victorian "Black House," pictured above, located at 6114 California in the Richmond District, served as home and headquarters to none other than Church of Satan founder Dr. Anton "The Black Pope" LaVey, author of the Satanic Bible.

The place was torn down in 2001 after being caught up in some truly devilish (I couldn't resist) family infighting and legal challenges following LaVey's death. Today three condos occupy the lot, and here's the peg: they're up for sale! Any enterprising Satanists out there looking for a new orgy spot?

Check out this 1998 Church of Satan letter concerning the Black House.

Here are some fascinating tidbits from a 1998 Chronicle article about the Black House:

"One of the highlights of that unholy union was Schreck's 1967 satanic baptism at the Black House, when she was 3 years old. The liturgy featured a naked 30-year-old priestess draped over the altar, breathing heavily, while Anton LaVey intoned, "Hail Satan!''

"LaVey lost ownership of the Black House in 1991, when a San Francisco judge ordered him to sell the property, along with his satanic memorabilia, and split the money with his estranged wife. Included among the devilish artifacts were a shrunken head, a reproduction of King Tut's sarcophagus, and a stuffed wolf."

(via Boing Boing/Photo courtesy Church of Satan *gulp*)

-- Brian Bernbaum

I remember my adorable three-year old cousin telling me that he came from his "mommy's tummy." I had to ask him, "How did you get in there?" The innocent child just looked at me and said, "God put me there." I couldn't help but put the kid on the spot, "God had sex with your mommy?"

Yes, I'm going to make a great father one day. The time is not right for me, but I owe it to the world to eventually spread my fantastic seed in the future. However, I hear that some people out there are having a hard time knocking up their loved one. If the ol' penis in the vagina trick ain't doing it for you, it might be time to start pointing fingers and blaming each other. It's also time to check if your baby batter is missing a few ingredients. — James Y Lee

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(Codepink's membrane gets violated by dirty Cuban)
The story's a little convoluted, but here's the rub: This month, San Francisco's homegrown peace-nazis Code Pink traveled to Miami and tried to protest this dude named Luis Clemente Faustino Posada Carriles. Problem is, Carriles is an anti-Castro terrorist that's pretty much beloved by tons of Cubans in Miami who REALLY hate Castro. They like the fact that Carriles bombed Cuban hotels in 1997, and a blew up a Cuban airliner in 1976. So when Code Pink showed up in Miami to protest resident Carriles' lack of U.S. jail time, Cuban exiles rolled out the welcome weapons. Bienvenidos, putas! See the protest video after the jump.

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By John Geluardi

O’Reilly’s on Green Street is probably one of the more popular and authentic Irish pubs in the city; good food, a wide selection of beer and lovely barmaids who speak with intoxicating brogues that summon lilting images of pastoral green fields, Aran-knit sweaters and peat-warmed crofters cottages.

But some customers and employees have complained that cell phone reception at the pub is bad and that’s why bartender Orla Niland was a caught off guard last Sunday.

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By Andy Van De Voorde
Executive Associate Editor, Village Voice Media

The Bay Guardian’s lead witness in its predatory-pricing lawsuit against the Weekly admitted on the stand Tuesday that she has not personally made a sales call in the past 35 years.

Despite holding the title of “co-publisher,” and telling the jury that she is the person in charge of the Guardian’s “business side,” Jean Dibble acknowledged under cross-examination from Weekly attorney H. Sinclair Kerr Jr. that she has not sat down to talk with advertisers about their businesses for at least two decades.

Dibble’s admissions came shortly after she had testified under direct examination about the Guardian’s rates and its relationships with advertisers.

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Sure, we all have our crazy cab stories, 1 being a small fender bender, 10 being Princess Diana. You pray to make it out alive with something between a 1 and a 2 on my collision scale. However, there's nothing worse than not having enough cash to get from point A to B . You end up going to an automated teller machine and have to go from A to B to C, like you're driving down fuckin' Sesame Street. Here's a Web site that will calculate your taxi trip and do the math for you. — James Y Lee

According to San Francisco police reports, on January 2927, as a couple was moving into their apartment on Virginia at 9 p.m., two people entered through the front door and one “produced a handgun.” Since everything the victims owned was presumably in plain view and in disarray -– at least my stuff would be if I were moving –- the “welcoming committee” had a quick field day and then fled on foot. I wonder if something like this affects your security deposit? We at the Snitch would like to offer our condolences to the newly arrived victims. -- Snitch Staff Report