How Not to Write Your Resume

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I have a tendency to put poop jokes into my resume, but I keep it classy and professional by paper clipping $20 to it. There's a few ill-advised resumes I've sent out where I tried to get too creative with it and here are a few rules before typing out that haiku you're really proud of or writing about your criminal record to show that you're a real go-getter. —James Y Lee

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