Dallas Cowgirls Suck

Cowgirls Suck: Top 5 reasons to be happy you’re not a Dallas Cowboys fan

1. You don’t have to root for a team whose cheerleaders wear such demeaning outfits that they look like walking STDs.

2. You don’t have the embarrassment of knowing the referees (and their dubious calls) are the most likely contenders for winning as Dallas’ Most Valuable Players in last night’s game against the Green Bay Packers.

3. Dallas is deep in the heart of Texas, the state that brought you Halliburton and other corporations notorious for cronyism and corruption—not to mention George W. Bush, a politician notorious for cronyism and corruption.

4. Your favorite team’s cheerleaders best performance wasn’t on The Love Boat—and even then they were upstaged by Charo.

5. Your quarterback isn’t rumored to be dating Jessica Simpson (Ewww!)