RaidersSuckNinersSuck: Week 5

Every Monday this football season the SF Weekly news blog 'The Snitch' features "RaidersSuckNinersSuck", because let's face it, they do. Let us continue with a lame Week 5. -By The GPC

Raiders vs Bye
Raiders Suckages
1.Don’t worry, if they had played, they would have lost. There is still more losing to do.

Niners vs. Baltimore Ravens
As befits a person of increasing madness, I did the unexpected and went to the 49ers game. I was treated to a complete suckfest. Traffic was a complete nightmare, and the stadium is a piece of garbage with worsening fans by the minute. The guy who was sitting behind me was so drunk that he was making fun of the wrong team. I am quite pleased he didn’t barf on that back of me. Anyone remember the class of the '80s? Di Bartolo shaking Bill Walsh’s hand as Joe Montana smirked. Oh, how I miss the days when the team's ownership gave a crap.

In terms of the game, I looked up at half time and they had the stats on the jumbotron. The Niners had one first down in the first half and negative passing yards! I am not an expert, but I am sure that completely reflects suckage. Also, did you see Ray Lewis just wreck us time and again? He was completely tearing us a new one on every play. We couldn’t even get close to blocking him.

One ray of light. Kick off/Punt returns. That guy was running his ass off every time trying to get something started in our pathetic offense.

Niners Suckages
1. Offensive Line: Yeesh we are terrible. I know I harp on this, but defenses are just teeing off on the QB every play. Dilfer can’t run much, so asking him to scramble is like asking Michael Jackson to lay off makeup.

2.Wide Receivers. Baltimore has a weakened secondary. We should have been able to take more advantage of their defense.

Overall Super Suckers: Niners!
Defense will not take care of everything boys. We need to run the ball to give ourselves a chance

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