Exotic Erotic Ball Couches Tits as Freedom: Get Real! ... about Freedom (not Tits; fake Tits are fine)

Categories: Politics

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An opinion piece
By Benjamin Wachs

Memo to the Exotic Erotic Ball: guys, you take yourselves way too seriously.

I’m all in favor of a bunch of hot naked people all being naked in one place, but, the "freedom" publicity surrounding this low-rent bacchanalia at the Cow Palace Friday and Saturday has gotten bizarre. Apparently if you’re advertising for a giant participatory strip club, it’s:

-- not enough to put out flyers and newspaper inserts filled with women whose breasts are almost ready to be explored by NASA.

-- not enough to make bold-lettered promises that there will be places to buy leather and sex toys. Which are. . . you know. . . almost impossible to find in San Francisco.

-- not enough that the words “Worlds #1 Wildest, Sexiest Party” gets attributed to the event thanks to E! Entertainment TV, which is the Home and Garden Network of sexy parties. ...

No, to get people to come to The Exotic Erotic Ball, you need to include testimonials from people explaining how it’s also a very “special” place filled with love, respect, and positive energy. At least, they think so.

Exhibit A: their “Letter of the Year” from 2006, as sent in by sent in by Marissa H., of Fresno:


“(A)nd now every year more people come from further away not only for the sexiness but because they want to celebrate freedom,” Marissa H. wrote. “I think it transcends parties altogether. We need this show. It is one of the free world’s single most famous and influential gatherings for the celebration of human sexuality and freedom of expression anywhere.”

Of course it is Marissa. Much better than voting.

Exhibit B: Caryla C. wrote for this year’s promotion:


“In these days of censorship and too much government, it’s sure great to be part of freedom of expression the way it’s supposed to be.”

Absolutely. If the Fourth of July got fucked up the ass by the Unknown Soldier while Uncle Sam jizzed on the Bill of Rights, this would be it. If only we could help Iraqis to understand what our freedom means.

Why does a glorified amateur porn night need to be heralded as the philosophical heir to the '60s? Why are the proponents of naked-women-in-gigantic-shoes uncomfortable with throwing a naked-women-in-giant-shoes event on its own terms? Who needs a “letter of the year?” Porn, as it happens, is pretty successful in the rest of the country. Even the porn that doesn’t celebrate respect.

Let’s be honest: people aren’t throwing an exotic erotic ball because they want to celebrate freedom. They feel the need to celebrate freedom because they’re throwing an exotic erotic ball. In fact, there seem to be an awful lot of people in the Bay Area who wouldn’t talk about the First Amendment at all if it didn’t have a sex connection.

In a society descended from Puritans, people who make money off nudity (which is, you know, shocking and stuff) are going to think they’re doing something significant. Maybe it’s inevitable that this sense of significance will make them the forget that sexual freedom is just a small, sticky corner of political freedom. The reason we uphold people’s rights to do sexy things is because there’s often no way to curtail it without damaging people’s rights to do important things. That doesn’t make dominatrixes the new flag bearers at Iwo Jima.

But in the Bay Area, where sex is politics by another means, they refuse to be labeled “dirty” for wanting our porn stars up close and personal: they have to find some way to make even our nastiest desires ennobling. And so, when they fuck, they’re preserving freedom. When they pay to meet porn stars they’re holding “one of the free world’s single most famous and influential gatherings for the celebration of human sexuality and freedom of expression anywhere.” And when they talk about sex in public they’re suddenly freakin’ Gandhi.

Still. . . In a sense they’re right. The Exotic Erotic Ball is about freedom. It has to be: last year one of the sponsors was “MyFreeImplants.com.”


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