The Snitch's Overly Cursory Look at San Francisco's Daily Front Pages -- June 6, 2007

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Chronicle leads with "BAY WATERS A FAVORITE FINAL RESTING PLACE," a trend story about the cremation and discarding of human flesh in the San Francisco Bay. Good fun -- like impending death or knowing you're about to fall off a cement mixer and hurt yourself a lot. We're overcome with heebie-jeebies.

First: death = not fun, especially if it's not spot news. Second: What is news? Is the Chronicle saying, in some cerebral way, that news is dead or preparing for death? Is this a hilarious copy editor's joke alluding to the demise of print and the futility of once-a-day news in constructs of the new millennium? ("When news dies, burn it, then dump it in the Bay!") Perhaps.

Also: "Test scores up, gaps narrowing for state's kids"; "State to renew DeAnza rape case"; "Pelosi scuttles warming challenge"; and a subtly guffawing photograph and referral re: Scooter's legal troubles, and problems the Bush administration will likely face in the wake of his sentencing (Will Bush pardon or not?)

Examiner leads with the fairly typical tabloid bullshit up top -- two photos of attractive women attached to questionable news stories, namely: Kate Hudson dumped Owen Wilson because of "his elusive ways"; and Alison Sudol (not wearing a shirt!) now sings. Also, in more-or-less actual news, a huge headline -- "Businesses show little support for public power idea" -- on today's energy plan vote, and a regurgitated synopsis, with pic, of Arnold's budget speech at the PG&E building yesterday.

Also: "Why women need flexible career tracks," "Floppers don't help Finals foes," and the weather.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? News tips? Cooking recipes? E-mail The Snitch and the weight of the world will lift from your shoulders like mist.

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