Digital icing, an unfortunate stunt man, curmudgeons and Kerouac

Today, Wired blogger GeekDad highlights a San Francisco-based bakery that allows techie cake connoisseurs (insert puzzled expression here) to "have an image 'printed' on the front of a cake using an ink jet-style printer that uses edible inks." As far as I'm concerned, this is great news for the progress of the human animal. Finally, we can eat everything -- including The News! So, in honor of technology, we bring you today's news stories that we would like to see on a cake and then eat:

1) A picture of Google -- the entity -- doling out reparations for ruining news.
2) A picture of Jack Kerouak sobbing, mourning the transition of yet another artist from living enigma, to dead icon, to fodder for civil lawsuits and bickering.
3) Internet porn. And, finally,
4) This guy's midsection:

An actor is suing "Jackass" star Johnny Knoxville, TV talk show host Jimmy Kimmel and radio personality Adam Carolla, claiming he was never paid $10 million for doing a below-the-belt stunt that left him severely injured.

Perry Caravello claims Kimmel never paid him for his work in the 2003 TV movie "Windy City Heat." According to the suit, Knoxville also promised to pay him to promote the DVD release of the film on Carolla's show last fall if he agreed to place his genitals in a mousetrap.

I don't know about you, but when I got to "he agreed to place his genitals in a mousetrap," I died a little. Over. --The Snitch