Boxing Bootcamp Day 876,234 (10) -- Half-Heartedly Apologizing for the Penis Jokes
Dear readers who e-mailed suggesting that I waste their time when I write about getting punched in the nuts:
Specifically, I'd like to address this letter I received from a reader we'll call "My Mom." It went like this:
Why can't you just write about the health aspect of your routine? I have no doubt that other things happened yesterday besides the sparring you vaguely outlined. Why not try to educate people about how to get in shape? I imagine there are one or two health conscious or potentially health conscious individuals in San Francisco who might rather read about health than your sore private parts. Also, why do you have to swear so much?
To that, I'd like to respond: What the hell do you expect? Have you read this publication? This week, we featured a story written by a track bike in our news section. And this is on our "news and politics" blog. It's a god damn free for all! The week I started, I was given an official style-sheet from The Powers That Be, and it said:
There are no rules, except: "Punched in balls" = good headline. "Paris Hilton" = good headline. "Get in shape fast" = bad headline. You have been warned.
How can I go against that kind of directive? My bosses want juvenile humor, so that's what I provide. And fart jokes are next on the agenda. Remember: This is Village Voice Media's world, folks; I only box in it. Now to more important business.
Today was "Jump in the San Francisco Bay Day" at Boxing Bootcamp. Anyone who had been late or missed any classes was forced to jump into the Bay by pier 23 (I think), right next to 2 Horizon ships and near Pac Bell Park. Amazingly, I didn't have to jump in, but the people who did seemed to enjoy it. One guy, a Frenchman who we'll call Gérard Depardieu even removed his shorts after he screamed like a little girl and entered the cold, green, bacteria-filled Bay water. That made for some weird, tittering commentary from just about everyone (i.e. "Ha! Ha. Wait, did he...? Ew. Yuck."), but after that ended and he got out of the water (with his shorts on, thank Christ), everyone else was amused (and not in a creeped-out way) by the 12-year-old in our class, who jumped in first, giggling, and actually had to be physically removed the water because he was enjoying himself so much.
In short, the day was relatively relaxing on a whole -- we did some running, some of our usual calisthenics, and ended with some stretching. Trick for the weekend is to maintain some semblance of health-mindedness until the class resumes Monday.
For those who care about the SF Weekly v. Bay Guardian battle at the end, Rob Q has been absent for a couple days, and will be absent from class for the next week because of a wedding in Boston. Advantage for me? Perhaps. But he's a better boxer than me, so we'll find out soon enough.
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Boxing Bootcamp is a bit of fun orchestrated by 3rd Street Gym, SF Weekly's Matt Stroud, and Rob Quintiliani from the SF Bay Guardian; the fun involves Rob and Matt training for 6 weeks before pummeling each other publicly for everyone's amusement. Questions? Write to Matt Stroud.
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