This Teaser for tUnE-yArDs' New Album, Nikki Nack, Is Totally Bananas

Good news for fans of weirdo Oakland world-art-pop -- or music that tempts the use of too many hyphens: tUnE-yArDs has a new album, Nikki Nack, coming out this May 6. The news was announced yesterday, on bandleader Merrill Garbus' birthday, along with a teaser of tracks from the new album. Said teaser is absolutely fucking bananas -- in a good way. It's hard to judge based on brief, wacky samples, but this album sounds much brighter and hyperactive and colorful than 2011's critically adored w h o k i l l. Just take a listen:

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On the Shock, Confusion, and Horror of Liking a Coldplay Song

Categories: Oops, WTF

There are certain pivotal events in a person's life. Moments that force you to take a step back, re-evaluate everything that has happened in the years that led up to this day, and perhaps rethink how the future is going to look. Maybe things aren't all going to be the way that you planned; maybe life is even more complicated than you had already realized. The only certain thing you have left is that there is no certainty. No turning back the clock, either. We, just today, had one of these moments. And we're still reeling from the event and all that it may mean for the future. So, what was this thing that shook us to the core?

There's just no way of sugar-coating it: We heard the new Coldplay single and we really liked it. Really.

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Billy Ray Cyrus' "Achy Breaky 2": 10 Aching Questions We Have After Watching This Thing

Billy Ray, with unnecessary guitar, in the hallway of flesh.
We just watched it. The horrible thing. Billy Ray Cyrus and some rapper named Buck 22 have attempted to recycle "Achy Breaky Heart," 1992's most embarrassing, inescapable hit, into a song for 2014, by adding a rap beat, a spaceship theme, and a lot of EDM squawks and squeals. Yes, we know how terrible that sounds. We watched it anyway, and now, quite frankly, we are broken. Stunned. Gobsmacked. Flummoxed. Thrown for a fucking loop.

Here are some of the questions underpinning our perplexedness. Can you help us answer them? We hope (for your sake) you can't, but, well:

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People on YouTube are Using Floppy Drives to Cover Famous Songs (Yes, Floppy Drives)

Categories: Tech, WTF

Your new floppy drive orchestra.
We've heard about paper instruments, wearable drum kits, brain music, and lots of other strange, tech-enabled musical concoctions. But here is one we had not imagined: making music with floppy drives. Yes, with the drives' stepper motors as the instruments.

But oh, dear reader, is this a thing. Digital Music News brought it to our attention with an eerily robotic floppy-drive version of Pachelbel's "Canon." As one floppy artist explained, the drives run on custom software that converts MIDI files into data packets and sends them to a processor called an Arduino, which then sends the drives the information they need to make music ... or something at least approaching music:

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A-Plus and Aagee Get Lost Inside the EDM Matrix in "Blue Tear Drops"

Categories: Video, WTF

We thought the age of everyone jumping on the EDM train came and went a couple of years ago. We were wrong. Here is East Bay indie-rapper-of-note A-Plus with a new album unsubtly titled Molly's Dirty Water, and a single whose video trades in all the sensory stimulation you can find outside of an Oracle Arena massive. "Blue Tear Drops" is spacey track with -- get this -- no rapping, only lots and lots of digital atmosphere wafting over a trip-hoppy mid-tempo beat. It's too ineffectual to be terrible, but certainly far from compelling, and the accompanying clip trades largely in stock dance-scene imagery: crowd silhouettes, pulsing EQ meters, and futuristic neon robotics. There are some vertical horizons in there, too. And runners. And windmills. We couldn't tell you why.

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Top 7 Things To Spend the New Kanye West Digital Currency On

Categories: Tech, WTF

Kanye West is getting a digital currency, his own Bitcoin rival. Well, sort of.

In further proof of human kind's inability to resist even a plainly stupid pun, some people are creating a digital currency they're calling Coinye West, which will have Yeezus' likeness on it. You can get some starting January 11.

Get it, Coinye West? Ha, ha.

Kanye himself is not involved, although the creators of Coinye West are Tweeting wildly in the hope of changing that. As an indicator of the likelihood of this, consider that those creators also currently "want to stay sorta anonymous in case Kanye gets pissed off," as one of them told Vice UK. (At least they aren't trying to take his picture at the airport.)

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Watch: Which of These Pop Lyrics Did You Mishear in 2013?

Categories: WTF

No, she won't!
To be honest, 2013 didn't strike us as a year of particularly confusing pop songs. "Get Lucky?" Yeah, we got it. "Trouble?" We knew it. "Blurred Lines?" We didn't really want it, but Robin Thicke sure thought we did.

Still, for those of you who thought it was weird that Miley's friend came in like a rainbow, or wondered why Daft Punk wanted to rob a Mexican, here's a video round-up of all the most misheard pop lyrics of 2013. You might find that some of them are better than the originals. Or you might find that you knew these lyrics right the first time. Either way, this is good for a few laughs:

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Why You Should Pay to Watch Journey Guitarist and Reality TV Woman's Massive S.F. Wedding

Categories: Only in SF, WTF

The happy couple.
There's a lot going on here, so let's break it down. First, "Journey guitarist" -- you know who Neal Schon is, right? He's the sole member of one of San Francisco's all-time most successful (and, yes, embarrassing) rock bands, the one who really didn't stop believing.

Now. Mr. Schon is enamored with one Michaele Holt Salahi, star of a trashy televised thing called "Real Housewives of D.C." So enamored that they want to get married. Naturally, on live TV, because all important people live their lives on TV now, when they aren't crashing White House parties. Neal and Michaele are doing their TV nuptuals at San Francisco's Palace of Fine Arts. This Sunday. And they want to charge you $14.95 for the privilege of watching what has been breathtakingly named "Neal and Michaele: The Winter Wonderland Wedding and Music Event."

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Metallica Finds San Francisco Too Warm, Plays Show in Antarctica

Categories: Metal, WTF

Freeze 'Em All
Because San Francisco isn't chilly enough right now, the members of a marginally famous local rock 'n' roll band called Metallica went somewhere a little colder for a one-off show this weekend.


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Bon Jovi, Taylor Swift, and Prince William Are Dreaming of a White Christmas Exceedingly White, Giving Us Nightmares

Categories: WTF

Make it stop

Quick, what's the whitest thing you can think of? The latest Jennifer Aniston vehicle? That new condo on Dolores with a Whole Foods on the bottom and a fucking butterfly habitat on top?

Well, stop straining your brains, my friends -- you need to reserve energy for digestion over these next few days. Besides, a spectacle that experts have identified definitively as the Whitest Thing That Has Ever Happened went down last night, at a Kensington Palace charity event called (what else?) the Winter Whites Gala.

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