Hey (heterosexual) women! Something really great just happened and we can't wait to tell you about it! Aren't you tired of all those silly conversations where you and your girlfriends discuss what you're looking for in a mate? All that talk about personality and humor and shared interests and ambition and blah, blah, blah. I mean, is that really what you want in a man? Is it? It's okay. You can be honest. Because -- I'm sure we can all agree on this -- truthfully, deep down, all we really desire in a relationship is to be reduced to a human accessory; an empty shell; body parts with no thoughts or personality of our own. What we really want is to be voiceless and on the arm of a man who has no interest in us other than how we make him look. Now that's a recipe for a long-lasting marriage! Are we right, ladies?