BLK JKS: On the classier side of World Cup 2010 music

​Don't be alarmed to turn on ESPN this month and hear some witty Englishman declare the arc of a round ball through space "inspired," "creative" or "clever." It's World Cup season -- the month-long Super Bowl-meets-Olympics-meets-Mardi Gras of that "beautiful game" -- and early risers across the states are realizing what our neighbors to the north, south, east and west have known for a long time. That soccer -- football, to the rest of the world -- is a game for the eyes.

So what happens when record executives/ footballers/ Simon Cowell decide to bring the beautiful game to our ears? As they say in football, a missed chance.

Listen Up! The Official 2010 FIFA World Cup Album is the record you'd buy if you wanted to commit to posterity the tournament's sanctioned anthem and song. One wonders: What makes R. Kelly's tepid "Sign of a Victory" the official anthem, and Shakira's spritely "Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)" merely the official song? The Colombian diva's remake of "Zangalewa" -- a Cameroonian hit from the '90s, with martial overtones -- is puzzling in many ways (what says world harmony through fair play like an African military parade?). But at least it doesn't feature the lyrics "You open your eyes to global warming." Not even R. Kelly could get a stadium full of drunken football fans going on that one.

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Ricky Martin said, "Go, go go, ale, ale, ale." And England replied, "Fine, but please stop singing, because we have a game to win."

England decided to pass on an official World Cup song this year, dismissing it as too much of a distraction. There's some logic to this. England won the competition in 1966 -- the last time the country didn't have an official song. If the team was putting more effort into strategy and wasting less time trying to book Scary Spice, they'd probably have more victories to brag about.

But fans want their tunes, and Shakira's "Waka Waka (This Time For Africa)" cannot hope to fill England's void. With about a day to go until game time, unofficial songs have been cropping up on the Internet. A standout is Sergeant Major's "Put a Smile on England's Face," which is infectious like a Rooney summer anthem. Says the artist's Myspace:

"Recorded at an undisclosed location while on leave, 'Put A Smile On England's Face' makes a bid to eat all previous attempts for breakfast ...it could be the one to wave your flags to this summer! "

Given England's past performance in the World Cup, we're not sure how much flag waving there'll be. But with this song, at least the blokes on that watery little isle will have something to smile about.