No, Kim Kardashian Will Not Be at the S.F. Conservatory of Music Tonight

Categories: The Twitter

Nope, not that Kim.
Spelling: It's a tricky thing. Sometimes you look at a word, especially a word with a lot of letters, and think, "Gee, that sure looks like another word I know with a lot of letters." And then all sorts of confusion ensues. This sort of mix-up arose on the Twitter today after the S.F. Conservatory of Music reminded the world that a violist named Kim, whose last name begins with "K" and ends with "-ashian," would be giving a chamber music master class at the music school tonight. Surely you can see the potential for confusion there. Twitterers scanning their feeds wondered, quite reasonably: Is Kanye's fiance secretly a virtuoso?

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"Justin Bieber is a Piece of Shit" and Other Great Reactions to His Arrest

Categories: Lists, The Twitter
Bieber in simpler times
If you are alive and in possession of all of your faculties, then you have already heard about everybody's favorite fake lesbian, Justin Bieber, getting arrested for drag-racing in a rented Lamborghini the other day, while allegedly under the influence (and without a valid license) in Miami. Sadly, the fact that he was not actually over the legal alcohol limit (which doesn't matter if you're underage -- it's still a DUI) and that he was doing about 55 mph (irresponsible, yes, but neither fast, nor furious) has not been reported nearly as much as we'd like. Truly, all this incident really proves is that Justin Bieber is more half-assed than bad-assed (but we knew that when we found out that his means of exacting revenge is EGG-THROWING).

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Neil Young Will Answer Your Questions on Twitter Tomorrow

Christopher Victorio
Neil Young and Crazy Horse rocking out at Outside Lands
Got a question you've been burning to ask Neil Young? Like, perhaps, what made him want to write "Cortez the Killer," or what he was thinking when he made Trans? (Which really isn't as bad as it's cracked up to be?)

Well polish those inquiries down to 140-character length, Young fans, because tomorrow (Oct. 24) is your day. The great Young himself will take to his brand-new Twitter account (@neilyoung/ only 13 Tweets so far!) to answer your questions starting at noon PST.

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Outside Lands 2012 Lineup: Reactions From the Twitterverse

Christopher Victorio
Outside Lands 2009

The Outside Lands lineup was announced this morning, which means music fans all over the world will spend a good chunk of today discussing it on Twitter. This year's lineup -- which includes Neil Young, Skrillex, Metallica, Beck, Jack White, the Foo Fighters, and many, many more -- seems to have provoked a surprisingly strong and wide range of reactions. That's just our anecdotal impression, of course, but to illustrate the broadness of reaction, we've assembled a mishmash of positive, negative, and somewhere-in-between views as expressed on Twitter. Ready for an unfiltered dose of Internet-borne opinion? Let's go:

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John Mayer Blames Twitter for His Own Stupidity; World Rolls Eyes

john mayer.jpg

So, guess what happened the other day? John Mayer announced to an audience of students at Berklee College in Boston that he was addicted to Twitter, prompting the sympathy of, we imagine, literally nobody. "I was a Twitterholic," he announced (possibly sobbing). "I had four million Twitter followers and I was always writing on it ... and it started to make my mind smaller and smaller and smaller and I couldn't write a song anymore."
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Why Kanye West and Twitter Are Meant To Be

Categories: The Twitter
via Kanye West's Twitter

Kanye West was late to join the social media party, but he was caught up to speed immediately upon stepping into Twitter headquarters here in San Francisco earlier this week. At one point, he was gaining 80 followers a second. Where did we learn this? Kanye's Twitter, of course. Now he has 300,000-plus followers eating up his puffery, narcissism and asininity in tweet-sized bites. Not bad, considering that he's following -- oh, rounded to the nearest even number -- no one.

Just as we readied to expound on how a better match could not be found than in Kanye and Twitter, he tweeted the same conclusion:

I think Twitter was designed specifically with me in mind just my humble opinion hahhhahaaaahaaa

Yes, it would seem that way. (Obligatory hahahahaha.)

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Sinta and Jojo's 'Keong Racun': Don't You Have Better Things To Do, S.F.?

Categories: The Twitter

It's about 11 p.m. on a blustery Thursday night in July in San Francisco. What do you think people are twittering about? #WhereThePartyAt? #YellowCabFail? #CallingInSickTomorrow?


The most trending topic on Twitter late last night in San Francisco -- and, we suspect, in much of the world -- was the video you see above, of Sinja and Jojo (their YouTube names) lip-synching to the dancey Indonesian pop song "Keong Racun." See above for the full embarrassment. 

We're trying to figure out exactly what this means, but we're pretty sure it's not good. Don't you have better things to be doing on a Thursday night, San Francisco?

Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown, because we rarely tweet about Sinta and Jojo.

Geeks Take a Break from Social Media to Celebrate Social Media

via Twitter

"Today is Social Media Day! How are you celebrating?" a Twitter user tweeted.

"Refreshing Twitter to see how everyone else is staying at home on Twitter," would have been the predictable answer. Instead, users responded: "Getting a cake." "Heading to Boston tonight." "Watching fireworks."

Sure enough, they intend to carry out these activities not in the virtual Second Life, but in Real Life. Oh, the irony. People finally communicating outside of Facebook to go outside to talk about Facebook.

Mashable, the social media news site that inspired the unofficial Social Media Day, has geeks congregating worldwide to meet with like-minded social media enthusiasts. In San Francisco, locals are invited to social network over drinks at 6 p.m.  We don't need to tell you that you can watch the meetups online, streaming from as far away as Romania, Costa Rica, and India.

The best part about Social Media Day? Coming back home after an exhausting day of conversing and looking people in the eye to discover 50 pending friend requests.


Follow us @SFAllShookDown and the writer @taylorfriedman

Choose Your Own Adventure! On Twitter.

Remember the Choose Your Own Adventure series? If you do, skip to the third paragraph. If you don't, read on.

CYOA was a book series with a non-linear structure that allowed you to explore multiple possible endings via making your own decisions as per what the protagonist should do. Yes, it was awesome. No, I'm not sure why you've never heard of it. Perhaps you weren't born yet. Or perhaps you've been living under a rock. But I digress.
Jonah Peretti , of Buzzfeed and Huffington Post fame, started his own little game of Choose Your Own Adventure on Twitter. In lieu of page numbers, he uses descriptive links you can click on to make your decisions for the protagonist (which is you, in this case).

At the start of the game, you're "assigned a dangerous mission to save the world!" The ending of your adventure depends on the series of choices you make from there ("accept mission" or "go on vacation," and so on.) We died on our first try, but then played the game again and survived. That's totally not cheating. I promise.
We hope this is a sign of more Twitter game innovation to come. Chris Sacca, Twitter investor and adventure fiend (who recently bicycled across the US), tweeted earlier, "Jonah @peretti is the most inventive Twitterer in the world". We kinda have to agree with him there. At least until the next inventive thing comes along.
Follow us on Twitter at @mbaratz and @sfweekly.

Valentine's Day Tweets: 140 Characters of Love

What's the hottest way to pick up a lover this Valentines Day? Woo with Twitter. We're assuming you guys are all trimmed and ready, and we've already told you the best places to hook up in the city so love is ostensibly just 140 characters away. Go get some.

Screen shot 2010-02-14 at 1.31.01 AM.png


He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not... either way I Internet stalk him anyway.

Every time I drink, I realize how beautiful you are.

When I look at you I think "awkward morning."

Valentine's Day is stupid. Seriously it's a crappy commercial holiday. It's so lame, it should be called lame day. Let's fuck?

Some men give chocolates, but I know you're trying to lose weight. So I'm gonna whisper in your ear " girl you thin" all night long.

I'm broke this year. I can only get you 2 out of 3 things. Do you want 1) Flowers 2) Dinner 3) Sex in a hotel on an actual bed?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I didn't buy you either, but I'd still like to screw.

Happy VD! No seriously, Happy VD. A couple antibiotic shots will clear it up.

I have plans for Valentine's day, but can I drunk txt you later if they don't work out?

The reason I've been helping trouble shoot your computer problems is because I want to sleep with you.

Here's The Valentine's Day Situation: Will you be my Snookie?

Your brown eyes remind me of poop.

I know you are sleeping with someone else and haven't returned my calls and I wrote you a couple mean emails but I still love you. Be mine?

(That last one's a real winner. )

Follow us on Twitter at @springfever and @sfweekly.

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