Adele: Even more charming when drunk.

Why is it that when British people drink too much, they become 10 times funnier? It's not just the accents (though that does definitely help). There is just something specific to coming from that island -- and we have no idea what it is -- that inspires a special next-level of unhindered glee and cockiness after too much boozing. Here are our favorite incidents of British singers getting "pissed" (that means wasted where they come from, not angry) in public.

Liam Gallagher Rides a Dog

Reports surfaced earlier this week that Liam Gallagher had run up a £300 bar tab in Ye Olde White Bear pub in Hampstead (a posh part of London). Sure, that doesn't sound like a great deal of money in celebrity terms, but £300 can buy an awful lot of even the fancy champagne Gallagher was drinking, especially when tipping isn't involved. So we're not terribly surprised that one thing led to another and Liam mounted the nearest animal. That's right -- witnesses told The Sun newspaper that the ex-Oasis (and current Beady Eye) singer "was absolutely hammered" and "tried to get on [a] dog's back". Nice one, Liam. We're hoping it was a Great Dane and not a Chihuahua

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A Hammer for Oakland

Oakland, meet your new tourism ambassador: MC Hammer, famous rapper, man of Christ, former A's exec, and purveyor of some very goofy pantaloons. The man born Stanley Burrell was born and raised in East Oakland, so it's only natural that he'd by tapped by the city for a new campaign to counter its rather grim public image. "Oakland: To know it is to love it" is the slogan for Hammer's effort, and while we'd agree, fancy words aren't going to solve Oakland's image problem alone. (Hammer pants, on the other hand...) So: as an encouraging slap on the back to the man who first introduced us, indirectly, to "Super Freak" -- and who played the first concert we ever attended, in Oakland -- here are five fairly easy ways Hammer could help his native burg.

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Christopher Victorio

Noel Gallagher performing in S.F.

Aw, look: Another one of Oasis' Gallagher brothers uttered a statement that managed to be arrogant, ignorant, and fuddy-duddy all at the same time!

This time it was the elder (and usually saner) one, Noel, speaking to the U.K.'s Sunday Express about the impending die-off of that rare and vital species, the Rock Star:

Rock stardom will die because nobody will make enough money any more to be rock stars. Everybody will be jobbing musicians. It's unbelievable. The music industry has changed beyond all recognition. The music business we signed in to does not exist any more.

Pity the poor rock star! How will our cultural ecosystem recover? Who will we get to trash hotel rooms? And sleep with multiple groupies at the same time? And release bloated records that only sound good if you've been doing coke for three years straight?

Oh, that's right: DJs, pop stars, and rappers.

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Seriously, the b-side was called "I Killed Christgau With My Big Fucking Dick."

​Robert Christgau has long been held as the dean of rock criticism and perhaps the discipline's greatest practitioner.

He listens widely, with an open mind, and has over his 40 years in the business been bang-on right more often than any other critic, especially when it comes to pop, world music, and the important work of separating the minor pleasures from the major artists. His review of the Ramones' Rocket to Russia is a high-water mark of writing about popular music: Celebrating the Ramones' formal brilliance, he achieved a formal brilliance of his own.

But often these days his reviews -- always as tight and dense as bouillon cubes -- can tend toward the inscrutable. (He posts a couple times a week on his Expert Witness blog.) To aid the perplexed, we've taken the liberty of annotating a pair of his recent write-ups, a process something like adding water back to astronaut food.

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No, no. This is all wrong.

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Instead of ragging on high-end fashion labels, what if Kreayshawn's "Gucci Gucci" was about loving fish tacos?

Comedy students Jeremy Burke and Will Reese took that weird question and turned it into an exacting -- and funny -- video parody of the Oakland-via-L.A. rapper's breakout single. The "Fishy Fishy" clip, credited to a Natassia Zolot-lookalike named Kreayfish, went live on YouTube last Thursday and has since racked up more than a quarter-million views. It was featured on World Star Hip-Hop, Funny or Die, and of course, this blog.

Disguised as a parody, "Fishy Fishy" is also a comedic appreciation for the food of Best Fish Taco in Ensenada, a "low-key" favorite of Burke's in L.A.'s Los Feliz neighborhood. The idea for the clip was suggested by his friend, Will Reese, who helped with writing the lyrics and directing the video. From the beginning, their idea was to stick as close to the original "Gucci Gucci" as possible. It helped that Reese's roomate, Richard Figone -- the guy who plays Lil Debbie in the video -- made a beat that sounds remarkably similar to the song's quasi-dubstep backing track.

From there, Burke says, "I printed out her lyrics and pretty much dissected [them] syllable for syllable. I wanted everything to be the same rhyme scheme, almost to the point where our lyrics could rhyme with her lyrics."

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​Walk into any medical marijuana dispensary -- from the highest end Gaia-loving doobie-works to the grungiest toke hole -- and you'll behold a list of outlandish (and often annotated) strain names guaranteed to confound untutored neophytes and lung-abused crusties alike. Sadly, a plain doper with a brand-new pot card knows no end of confusion trying to make sense of a slew of proper nouns that read like random passages from Nova Express, so we offer the following in the interest of pop mnemonics and pain relief: Marijuana strains that sound like band names.

Strain name: Golden Goat

Strain type: Indica

Tastes like: Euphoria

Band genre: Sensitive indie rock with a quadriplegic drummer named "Stumpy."

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The Weeknd

It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday... If you aren't sick of that already, well, we are. So is the R&B group The Weeknd, which dropped a new album called Thursday last night.

We want to celebrate with them, so SF Weekly put together a playlist celebrating every single day of the week. With this, you can rock out not just to Friday, but Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday as well. Hit the jump to check out our days-of-the-week playlist, as well as The Weeknd's newest song.

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SF Weekly's own Exhibitionist uncovered a "Secret Admirer" mix CD (double disc!) found in the used bin of a Valencia Street bookstore, complete with a (possibly unopened) note giving track-by-track commentary, and saddest of all, a date of creation: May 2011.

Highlights include:

• An (ironic?) assessment of "Ingrown," by Smudge: "The singer of this band also played guitar for the Lemonheads, but I think Smudge is way better and it's kind of weird they were never as famous, but that probably makes them cooler."
• A summation of Liz Phair's career in one sentence: "Too bad she only had one good album."
• (Possibly) embarrassing admissions: "My best friend & I used to listen to this song and drive around the mall looking for cute punk boys. Sadly there were none anywhere ever." (On "P.R.D.C.T.," by Bratmobile)
• The most accurate four words on Little Pete's favorite song: ("Summerbaby," by Polaris): "it's, like, so good."
• The slow realization that the "secret admirer" recipient of the mix hocked it into the recycling bin less than a month after receiving it.

The whole thing is painstakingly documented at the Exhibitionist.

Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown, follow Cody B. Nabours @LongTimeJerk, and like us at Facebook.com/SFAllShookDown.

We know this is an odd thing to assist you with, but we're increasingly convinced that a certain section of the showgoing public is seriously trying to achieve this most shameful of goals. Why are we trying to help them? Well, we figure if these jackasses really knuckle down and go for it, the chances of them getting kicked out will increase and thus improve everyone else's lives significantly. Here, then, are some tips on how to be the most annoying person at a show.

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