Berner.

​There aren't too many local songs in seemingly heavy rotation on KMEL, but this annoying (and, to these ears, racially insensitive) one called "Yoko" is always on in the car.

Turns out it's by San Francisco's Berner, with heavyweight national guest stars Wiz Khalifa, Chris Brown, and Big K.R.I.T. Berner has been releasing albums for a few years, collaborating with local notables like the Jacka, Messy Marv, and J. Stalin; he's got a cool new video with time-lapse video of some of S.F.'s most recognizable landscapes; and he has this "Yoko" song on the air eleven billion times a day (approximately).

But we think Berner's greatest bid for attention here and abroad is coming via his attempt to be a blunted version of Joe Francis with his Stoner Girls Gone Wild web series (episode one and episode two are both quite NSFW).

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Grace Slick

Will someone please give Grace Slick a light?

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And for today's Most Typically San Francisco news item, we bring you this: No, it's not a new ban on kittens. Rather, Grace Slick, singer of the famous '60s S.F. psych-rock band Jefferson Airplane, is selling new artwork tomorrow night to aid the effort to legalize marijuana.

Oh, and Slick's name for the series of art she's unveiling? It is -- we kid you not -- the 420 Collection.

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So Cameron Diaz was recently on the George Lopez Show (and has he always sounded like that?), where she discussed Cuban food, driving a Prius, identity theft, and all that good stuff. But she also recalled her days as a high school student in Long Beach, and memories of one upperclassman named Calvin Broadus, who in all likelihood sold her weed at one point. Let's watch:

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In arguably the least surprising development in the lead-up to next Tuesday's general election, Wiz Khalifa -- promising Pittsburgh rapper and successor to the weed-rules-everything-around-me mantle of Devin the Dude -- has come out in support of Proposition 19.

 

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​Given numerous (and proliferating) testimonials to cannabis use in its lyrics, it may be safely ventured at this late hour that rock music and marijuana go together like jazz and teacup gin. Racks of rock LPs, even entire sub-genres of the music, reach the ears already reeking of the devil's weed, and a purist's temptation to follow suit is nigh irresistible. Since staggeringly strong dank is readily available and a high-speed Internet connection makes every laptop a potential Mighty Wurlitzer, it's worth any doper's while to lower a resin-crusty critical bucket into the blogged MP3 stream for suitable musical accompaniment for getting ripped to the tits.


Recommended strain: Blue Goo -- a malodorous, skullfuck of a sativa-dominant hybrid which I bolstered with a pinch of Sour Diesel hashish for meditative purposes.More >>

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If nothing else, Los Angeles' protracted struggle with cannabis clinic regulation should serve as a warning to other cities in which medicinal marijuana dispensaries wish to operate -- Better to lay down some strict rules and regulations, even if they can be a bit onerous (like in San Francisco), even if it means limiting the amount of clinics allowed within city limits to, say, five (like in Oakland).

Pic via LAWeekly

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It's not news that marijuana may have healing qualities: after all, medicinal cannabis has been (sort of) the law of the land since 1996, when California voters passed Proposition 215 . Still, it was a very big deal when the Center for Medicinal Cannabis Research released the results last Wednesday of its 10-year, $9 million study on pot's medical efficacy.

The good news? The tests were the first clinical trials conducted on marijuana in almost 20 years. The bad news? They might be the last clinical trials conducted for the near future - and who knows? - maybe another 20 years.

Photo via How Stuff Works

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What exactly did the California Supreme Court do Thursday, when it struck down a 2003 law limiting the amount of pot a medical marijuana patient can possess to eight ounces? A big fat bowl of nothing, says Dale Gieringer, who as director of the state office of National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), ought to know.

All the court did was uphold the will of the voters - which is exactly what it did when it upheld Proposition 8, incidentally. Proposition 215, passed in 1996 by voters, put no arbitrary limits on how much pot a patient can possess; it was the 2003 law, passed by the Assembly, that did. Voters trump the voted, every time. "This is exactly as we expected," Gieringer said. The state "cannot arbitrarily limit the amount of plants, the amount of medicine a patient might use."

Medical Marijuana via Troy Holden

​ That is not to say a recommendation gives any patient, anywhere, carte blanche to tote any amount of medicine.


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The fact the San Francisco Giants' Tim Lincecum was charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession following a traffic stop near his Washington State hometown barely raised eyebrows among local Giants faithful.  Come on -- a 25-year old West Coast kid, a snowboarder, with that long hair? Dude looks like a total stoner.

Photo via Screamofgusjohnson

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The two-time Cy Young Award winner (i.e., arguably the best pitcher in baseball, for those unfamiliar with Cy Youngs) paid a $513 fine on Tuesday for possession of 3.3 grams of marijuana and a pipe. This isn't that big of a deal around the 415, where "many folks probably vacuum more than 3.3 grams of pot residue off their carpets at home," as SF Chronicle Giants beat writer Henry Shulman put it.

We would like to note that 3.3 grams is also .2 grams short of an eighth, meaning either Timmy got shorted or, more likely, he had just lit a bowl when he was pulled over. Either way, Shulman added, the situation is being "taken seriously elsewhere and by Major League Baseball" -- and you can bet Lincecum is taking it seriously. As in, millions of dollars seriously.

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Lincecum filed for salary arbitration on Friday. At his current pay of $650,000 a year, he is an absolute steal for the Giants; other pitchers of his caliber command $25 million or more in the free agent market (which Lincecum is not eligible to enter for several more years, by which time, every Giants fan is praying, he is locked up for years to come in a long-term deal. That, or in a cage in China Basin).

But did the reefer screw up Lincecum's chance for a big payday?

Image via Tokeofthetown

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Common sense might suggest that it would be foolish of the Giants to make Lincecum's pot habit a sticking point in contract negotiations: he has no criminal history and is, by all accounts, well-behaved on and off the field. And raising heck over a mere paltry bowl could poison the waters for the *big* payday Lincecum is all but assured when he nears the end of his contract in 2013.

If marijuana is being mentioned in negotiations, the numbers certainly don't reflect it: according to the Associated Press the Giants offered their young ace $8 million; Lincecum's camp aimed even higher, asking for $13 million which, if granted, would be the highest salary ever won in baseball arbitration.

In this, perhaps Lincecum is lucky he plays for a team in pot-friendly NorCal and not, say, an image-conscious franchise in Red State USA. Incidentally, the Giants' highest salary is $18.5 million , which goes to pitcher Barry Zito - whose hippie-leaning ways include surfing, playing guitar, and practicing yoga. So Tim's got room to grow.

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