The S.F. billboard

So the Rolling Stones have been making a rather large, um, bang on Twitter all week about some big announcement coming tomorrow, April 3. Yes, it is almost certainly going to be U.S. tour dates for this spring -- a continuation of the band's 50th Anniversary shows of last year. And yes, it's almost certainly going to include San Francisco. Because if not, this electronic billboard at the west end of the Bay Bridge, and those ads on Muni stops around town would be, like, really dick.

See also: The Rolling Stones Announce Two Bay Area Concerts in May

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Perhaps, as Morrissey once sang, "Sorry Doesn't Help" -- but the singer is going to try anyway. Acknowledging for the first time the six Bay Area concerts he's cancelled in a row, Morrissey today announced plans for a month-long live residency in San Francisco this summer.

"Dear San Francisco, I'm sorry ... I'm feeling better, and I'll do my best to play for you this time," the England-born, Los Angeles-based former Smiths singer said in a statement, alluding to his recent health problems. "We shall be together for a whole month -- as long as you keep the smell of burning animals away."

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Christopher Victorio

The crowd at Third Eye Blind's Friday-night SXSW showcase.

In case you think you're the only one who furtively savors "Semi-Charmed Life" or "Jumper" or any other tunes from S.F. pop-rock '90s breakout Third Eye Blind, let us assure you: You aren't.

See, for example, the band's Friday night showcase at this year's South by Southwest conference, which took place at an outdoor venue on Fifth street in downtown Austin -- and conveniently, across the street from a multistory parking garage. Third Eye Blind began playing to a not-full crowd, but the audience quickly grew. Security stopped letting people into the venue, so onlookers piled up along the major thoroughfare. Meanwhile, smarter viewers climbed up into the parking garage for an arena perspective.

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Today we get ¡Dos!, Green Day's second album of 2012. And no, this doesn't mean Billie Joe Armstrong is out of rehab yet. He's still tucked away, recovering from apparently serious issues with alcohol and prescription drugs, and we wish him all the best.

Meanwhile, ¡Dos! is an intriguing listen: Like its predecessor, which came out only in September, this new record finds Green Day meandering all over the rock map, from snappy pop-punk a la Dookie to throwback punkabilly to White Stripes-y blues rawk. It's also surprisingly heavy at times -- low and fast and crunchy enough to trigger memories of a certain other gigantic Bay Area rock band with a few personal issues and a wildly varying studio output.

See also:
* Green Day's ¡Uno!: A First Listen
* The Top 6 New Green Day Songs, and How to Remember Them
* Nor-Cal (Green Day) Lands at No. 2 on the Charts, Just Ahead of So-Cal (No Doubt)

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Christopher Victorio

Neil Young and Crazy Horse rocking out at Outside Lands

Got a question you've been burning to ask Neil Young? Like, perhaps, what made him want to write "Cortez the Killer," or what he was thinking when he made Trans? (Which really isn't as bad as it's cracked up to be?)

Well polish those inquiries down to 140-character length, Young fans, because tomorrow (Oct. 24) is your day. The great Young himself will take to his brand-new Twitter account (@neilyoung/ only 13 Tweets so far!) to answer your questions starting at noon PST.

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Hope no one has any emotional attachment to the phrase "Smells Like Teen Spirit" -- either the song, its mystique, or the band that played it -- 'cause if so, they're about to get quite a mindfuck.

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" is the (working) title of a new family sitcom just sold to CBS, about "an 18-year-old budding entrepreneur who forgoes Harvard and instead opts to launch a multibillion-dollar Internet company from his garage with the assistance of his sister, best friend and his 1990s indie-rock parents," according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Excuse us while we go puke on our Chuck Taylors?

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It got Weezy in S.F. yesterday

Well, this didn't make it to our Fox-fueled TV screens yesterday: Rap star/walking tattoo warning Lil Wayne was on hand at AT&T Park to sing -- we use that term loosely -- "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." Yes, and with enthusiasm! Which raises several questions:

1. Lil Wayne is a Giants fan? (He's decked out in the team gear in this video we've got for you.)

2. Lil Wayne can sing? (Hint: No AutoTune appeared to be on hand at AT&T Park yesterday.)

3. Whom can we expect to surprise us at tonight's NCLS Game 7? (If you know, leave us a hint in the comments, please.)

Meanwhile, here's Weezy gettin' all affectionate for our boys in the orange and black:

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Nope, it was not a tour that Tom Waits mysteriously teased in a series of cryptic emails to every music journalist in America over the last week. Nor was it a cruise, a new album, or an Internet webcast, as we'd rather imaginatively guessed would be announced today, Aug. 7.

Instead, it's a new, Matt Mahurin-directed music video for the Bad As Me standout "Hell Broke Luce," which features Marc Ribot and Keith Richards on guitar, Flea on bass, and Casey Waits on drums. "Kathleen and I envisioned it as an enlightened drill sergeant yelling the hard truths of war to a brand new batch of recruits," Waits explains in a brief accompanying statement. "The video grew from the gnawing image of a soldier pulling his home, through a battlefield, at the end of a rope. "I think you will agree, it's uplifting and fun."

"Uplifting and fun"? As you'll see from this powerful, bleak, and disturbing clip, that's yet more proof that Waits has a taste for sarcasm.

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Today in clickbait, ponder a new slideshow/listicle/hotel advertisement from the folks over at Oyster.com (via HuffPo) which absurdly claims to round up the five best U.S. cities for live music. What are they? Since coastal media centers and global metropoli are not excluded, we bet you can guess at least two of them. The other three inclusions would be somewhat reasonable if this were a list of the best U.S. Cities For Live Music That Aren't San Francisco. That, however, is not the title of this list as we read it.

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In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Hank Williams, Jr. -- son of the original country music godhead, former Monday Night Football house singer, and official neck-beard of Nashville -- reminds us all just how big his freedom-loving balls are. This, remember is the man whose gargantuan testicles supplied him the bravery to say -- on Fox News' notoriously off-the-cuff morning show -- that a golf game between President Obama and House Speaker John Behner would "be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu." The comment promptly ended Williams' tenure as a football announcer and incited outrage all around.

Apparently it inflated Williams' testicular temerity even more, however, because today he insists to RS's Patrick Doyle (with full crusty-old-man condescension) that President Obama "hates America," and that Hank Jr. is the only one in the country with dangling sperm engines sizeable enough to speak The Truth, buddy. What truth? These truths:

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