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Friday took ASD to one of three International Ms. Leather 2008 evenings at the Holiday Inn on Van Ness. In the bowels of the building we witnessed some interesting scenes...including (but not limited to) flogging, paddling, whipping and some mild knife play. Read all about that here. And do click the link to see some of the footage we took of the IMsL auction - including the bidding for Dominatrix Midori and a lap dance by another lovely lady up for bid, Peggy Sue. We also have a safe word slideshow for you featuring auctionees and their safe words of choice. (Aside: Doesn't B.C. Cliver -pictured- who we ran into at IMsL look somewhat like Michael Jackson?)

Also on Friday, our SoCal correspondent Christopher Victorio returned to Coachella's stomping ground for the first day of Stagecoach. Read his account, in which he documents how Shelby Lynn cursed at the crowd and gave those in the front row the bird, here. And do flip through CV's beautiful photos.

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Friday was all about treating San Francisco like the beach town it ain't. SF Weekly Music Editor Jennifer Maerz watched Hot Rockin' Friday DJs spinning '70s punk and '80s psych at the Riptide before heading off to Mollusk for the surf shop's Geoff McFetridge art opening. At the surf shop-cum-gallery, DJ Trace Marshall kept the garage/surf tunes going. The latter was a cool, very casual little scene of kids, dogs and lots of hot, beachy-looking San Franciscans, Jennifer reports.

(More of what you missed after the jump. . .)

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Friday night saw the destruction of Cardburg, the fictional municipality the Cardboard Institute of Technology constructed for shits, giggles and documentary purposes. Our Gretchen Robinette witnessed the massacre and came away thinking:

"If everyone decided to belligerently beat each other with cardboard to release their aggressions and emotional inhibitions like this Friday night, the world might be a safer place. Who would have thought cardboard could be so entertaining? And hey --it's all recyclable!"

Check out her photos here.

On Saturday, we ran into Anonymous - those masked crusaders who've vowed to take Scientology down (or at least annoy the fuck out of Scientologists wherever they may be - somebody's gotta do it).

Anonymous claims that, desperate for dough, Scientology held a national bookathon, pimping L. Ron Hubbard's "Dianetics" on the 18th and 19th of April. I thought it was strange to see folks selling the book at Powell Station last Friday - using their clever "stress test" ruse to draw passers-by in and convince them buying the book was the way out of the dark. (They tried to get me to buy it this way at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books a few years ago. Creepy.) Sure enough, Anonymous showed up outside Powell, masked and armed with break-dancers. Photos under the fold. . .

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Well that was a gluttonous weekender filled with street eats, more chocolate than most could handle, pints of hefeweizen and yes, donuts. The weather was otherworldly, especially for those packed tightly together for San Francisco’s Obama delegate caucus on Sunday. Ah, the sweet (or in this case, not so sweet) smell of democracy. G'morning, San Francisco. This is your Monday Morning Hangover.

All Shook Down started the weekend off at The Independent, where Brooklyn's Dirty Projectors were busy pimping their latest record, "Rise Above," which our Oscar Medina describes as "an album that has confounded critics and listeners alike with it’s oblique combination of disparate strands of musical DNA, referencing everything from Congolese pop to the work of Gustav Mahler to early R n’ B and Soul." Read Oscar's review and check out some photos here.

Saturday's Fillmore bus (which was filled with some really rude folks) drove us to Japantown for the Northern California Cherry Blossom Festival, where we ate too much Sakura Popcorn and spent too much money on cool trinkets because everything was so amazingly cheap! Paper crane earrings made of Yuzen-shi (printed rice paper) and lacquered to perfection for $10? Nice to see the street scene kick Etsy's rainbow ass once in a while. (Photo under the fold. Slideshow to follow.)

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Yes, the weekend's been cruelly snatched from our feverish fingers yet again. But before we curse gods we don't believe in and make a mad dash for the espresso machine, let's briefly relive the glorious downtime.

ASD kick-started the break at SoMa's Club 330 Ritch, which is back in action after a mondo makeover. Photographer Gretchen Robinette captured the Friday night scene and all the beautiful people. You have our permission to ogle to your heart's content.

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Welcome to a brand new week devoid of any grandiose conventions and festivals. Boo this week! At least we have Erykah Badu's new album to listen to. Check out her new video up top, it's got a great concept with a beat so sweet, you gotta schedule a dental check-up afterwards. This is your Monday Morning Hangover.

What went down over the weekend?

-- Noise Pop is what went down. We caught The Mountain Goats record some stuff. We've also got a ton of slideshows and notes from this year's festival. Come back in a little bit and peep pics from Quasi, The Dodos, Cursive, and Port O'Brien.

And come back next week when we bring back words and shots from:

-- The Raveonettes at the Independent

-- Jay Howell's "Punks Git Cut" premiere at 11 Minna

-- The San Francisco Fetish Ball

Now quit playing around on the Internet and get to work! -- Oscar Pascual

Welcome to the working week, true believers! Hearing that is downright painful to the fanboys and girls who attended WonderCon and ditched reality for a three-day festival of imagination and action figures. This is your Monday Morning Hangover.

What went on over the weekend? Pure, unadulterated awesomeness:

- The WonderCon celebrated movies, comics, video games, sci-fi, toys, crappy makeshift costumes, and never getting laid. Attendees caught a panel with the cast and crew from the upcoming X-Files sequel. Watch the video above for a bootleg someone shot of the teaser trailer, intended only for the eyes of those who went to WC. Well, up until you push "play."

- Too $hort got it while the gettin' was good at 1015 Folsom

- And the Rock Gods saw fit to bestow upon us a rather excellent performance from Built to Spill.

Coming up this week:

-Noise Pop madness! This year's festival is chock full of stuff to check out, be it the Mountain Goats, Magnetic Fields, Human Giant, or your own favorite obscure band you think are way better. Elitist jerk. Check out our critic's picks, they might help you decide what shows are worthwhile. You must choose, but choose wisely.

And if all the scheduled Noise Pop shows just don't cut it, then you demand too much out of life. Thumb through our calendar for some alternatives. Until next week, Excelsior! -- Oscar Pascual

(Maya Hayuk, Giant Robot print)
If you're at work today, then we both have crap employers who don't see the value in holidays. This is Your President's Day Monday Morning Hangover. Fuck those old white dudes.

What happened this weekend?

-Wyclef got the nubile young asses of USF shaking Friday, but we didn't get in because SonyBMG is retarded and deserves to be annihilated like some Japanese dinosaur.
-Sufjan Stevens spinoff St. Vincent made the indie sap rise in our own Eric Zimmerman Sunday.
-And Giant Robot gave everyone cute-boners Saturday. Look at the pics!

-Muthafuckin' Katt Williams brings the funny to the 'Mount Tuesday.
-Digital Underground calls it quits 15 years too late Friday.
-Also Friday, Video Games Live should attract the biggest nerds in town for GameDevCon this week.

That's it.
There's more shit on our bomb-ass calendar, but you can go dig through it yourself. After all, it's a holiday. We're going home early to watch the Wire. -David Downs

(Olivia Hussey as Verona jailbait, Circa: Back in the Day)

Welcome back to hell, droogs. Here's what you missed over the weekend while you were taking oxy and binging on 'The Wire':

Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation melted faces at Victoria Theater Sunday.

Some skanky 69 action went down at the Shooting Gallery and at WhiteWalls SF Saturday - a fluid exchange.

Ditto for Fifty24SF and 111 Minna.

Cole Haddon examines "I Wanna Fuck You" and Other V-Day Mixtape DON'Ts

Upcoming this week in SF, you should know:
It's Valentine's Day, and the Castro Theater is doing it right with the old-school Romeo & Juliet with Olivia Hussey in attendance. So hot back in the day.

Punk/goth icon Siouxsie Sioux's at the Fillmore.

Drive-By Truckers shoot at the Mezzanine.

Wyclef's coming to town. He told SFWeekly he'll be picking up some USF interns. Tawdry. We yelled at him for "Hips Don't Lie".

DJ Shadow's in the mix this week too. He can go have "I've peaked" fondue with Wyclef at Melt.

Lastly, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum at the GAMH Saturday. Anti-Humanism never falls out of style.

Now, go look busy until we give away some more concert tickets in a few hours.
-SFWeekly.com Staff Report

It's Monday, January 28, as we bid adieu to all the gutbusting laughs incurred from SFSketchfest. The Kids in the Hall tribute was a proper way to send it off, but more on that later. The laughs don't have to end, as the Jerk himself Steve Martin's in town this week. This is your Monday Morning Hangover. Our fearless leader and Web Editor David Downs is M.I.A. like a Sri Lankan revolutionary emcee, so this is his evil minion Oscar Pascual, filling in as manservant Hecubus for today.

That serves as a good segue for today's video. Kids in the Hall performed many a classic sketch this weekend, but didn't bust out an appearance from Sir Simon Milligan and Hecubus. Find out what it really means to be EVIL:

Genius, I say. So what went down last weekend? Like, freakin' a lot, buddy. We've got words and pictures from all the neat functions:

-A concert review of Liars/No Age

-Pictures from Suite Jesus Loves the Ladies at Minna Gallery

-A show review of Kids in the Hall tribute

Plus all the regular content you've come to know and love:

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It's Monday, January 21, and SF Sketchfest is in full swing. The Daily Show's John Oliver appears at Cobb's Friday, and John Vanderslice appears with The State's Michael Showalter tonight. Also, first person to comment on this post with a valid sfweekly.com account (register here) gets a free pair of tix to the show of his or her choice at Cafe Du Nord/Swedish American Music Hall. This is Your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm the web editor, David Downs.

First the video: Trailer from black comedy TEETH, which opens Friday, Jan. 25, in SF. Must-see TV, this is.

Second the audio: Download brand-new stuff from Oakland indie/garage rock band The Heavenly States' new track "The Race" from their March release Delayer. (Right click or control-click and save as.)

So, what happened this weekend? SF Weekly went out and DID WORK, but none of it is in. We will soon have:

-A concert review of Cornelius.

-A show review of Friday's live Dr. Katz and Sunday's Freaks and Geeks Q&A.

-A show review of the Sex and Art Workers Show at the Victoria Theater.

And this week, we rule your monitor with:

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It's Monday, January 14th, and the invasion has begun. Be on the lookout for the doofy, the doughy — the Mac pack. The Macworld Expo starts tomorrow at Moscone Center. Apple CEO Steve Jobs wants to give you a shiny new tool for that grotesque utility belt you're developing, and no doubt you'll be fingering said tool on our MUNI by Wednesday. Well, we bide our time pretending to read the paper, knowing the tumor is metastasizing nicely in your right ball. Welcome to Your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm the web editor, David Downs.

SF Weekly went out and DID WORK this last weekend. We got:

-Pictures from the Shooting Gallery opening

-Pics from Upper Playground's Fifty24SF Presents "Letters to the Editor" By Ryan Jacob Smith, Cum*, Mario Wagner, Brent McHugh, Eine.

-Pictures fromWhite Walls SF with work by Alex Lukas, Chris Pew, and Amy Casey. Pictures by Josh from Creep Machine

-Plus, shots from the Black Heart Procession at Bottom of the Hill

-As well as coverage ofManicato at Mojito's

This week, we rule your monitor. Every day we have:

-Joe Eskenazi Investigating the Future of Investigative Journalism.

-Music and Apple news during our Macworld coverage on the Snitch.

-And Laser-Guided Awesome gathering life hacks for cheaper, easier more fun to use San Francisco.

SF Government InAction tells you what's going to happen this week at City Hall

Every Tuesday:

The Lowbrow Art Sale curated by Josh from Creep Machine will help you max out that credit card on something other than PS3 games

And San Francisco Blogs so we cover it in a weekly feature called BetterKnowAnSFBlog.

Every Wednesday:

Hot Comments on SF Weekly get some attention, and the SF Music Stream this week will include The Cool Kids and Dan Deacon.

Thursday:

We dissect the Most Popular on SFWeekly.com.

And this Friday:

We do the Friday Morning Pre-Party and learn of Christopher Hitchens' Next Ten Controversial Books, including "How The Missionary Position Ruins Everything."

Plus we'll be at:
Helluv more art shows, concerts, and bars, of course. Many bars. We're especially looking forward to freak folk beardo Devendra Banhart at MOMA this Thursday. We look forward to it so much -- we went out and established, for all time, The Top Ten Beards in Modern Music.

(Your Monday Morning Hangover hits at 9-ish a.m. every Monday morning with a weekend review, plus a weekly news and culture outlook, because we feel sorry for you clowns — driving your clown cars to your clown offices where you do clown work and lunch on clown food.)

My girlfriend just got back from Juno, and now she's all in love with it, too. "You would really love this movie," she says. Probably, but you know what? Fuck Juno.

There's nothing funny or precious about teen pregnancy. It's an ongoing, real-time national tragedy that ruins girls' lives. "If my daughter got pregnant at 16, all this work would be for nothing," says my 22-year-old new-Dad friend. "I would tell her, 'Darling, all is lost.'"

Juno is just implied teen preggo porn for nerds, who can only handle their teen preggo porn as an implication. "Now, now, it's a big jump from Juno to teen preggo porn," some may scoff, but I disagree.

Start with Juno, recall Britney's 16-year-old sister leading by knocked up example, then take another step backward to a preggo, 12 year-old-looking Christina Aguilera on the cover of Marie Claire this month, and the next step is a full-on societal fascination with underage insemination.

It's all on the same continuum, people! Can we not wait to impregnate our new uteri till they're 18? Jesus! ...

Welcome to Your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm the web editor, David Downs.

Um, what happened this weekend? Besides the five-year storm and Juno warming gonads across the nation — we were at Erik Otto's opening of "The Calm Before the Storm," which was dope. Other than that we kicked it and tried not to drown.

This week, we rule your monitor. Every day, Laser-Guided Awesome gathers life hacks for cheaper, easier more fun to use San Francisco

Every Monday: SF Government InAction tells you what's going to happen this week at City Hall, and Raiders Suck Niners Suck wraps up its sucky coverage for the season.

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Click the pic for the crude, the nude, and the lewd — 2007 in Photos.
—By SF Weekly chief photo editor, Crenshaw McGraw
(Sponsored by Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator. "It's got what plants crave.")

(Members of the annual Santa flash mob Santacon enjoy some of the season's finest | Photo by Gretchen Robinette)
Thank Christ, we made it to the week before Christmas. Man, this year sucked ass in so many new ways. Now, all that's left is some b.s. work, two, four-day weekends (maybe five-day weekends if we can swing it) and playing with our sexy new Wii. So sensitive. So smooth. Heheh.

This weekend sort of kicked ass, and we're not too hungover. We saw the six-minute prologue to the new Batman and it ruled. Heath Ledger as the Joker looks creepy, and the hyper-violence is going to rule. Then I Am Legend came on, and the Fresh Prince was actually tight, son! We love ourselves some apocalypse tales, even if they mangle the book.

Today, our MySpace is blowing up with some old flames looking for holiday ass during the trip home and that almost makes up for the fact that the weather is supposed to stay shitty through the week. This is your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm your weatherhuman, David Downs.

We start with the quick A/V hit: Invisible Master Tetris. (Watch for the end when the pieces go invisible and homeboy still wins.)

Holy, fuck. That man is a Tetris robot.

And now the audio: "3s and 7s" from Queens of the Stone Age, who play two rocking nights here Thursday and Friday at the Warfield. Bow to their superior desert skills.

So, besides all the killings in Richmond, what else happened over the weekend?:

--Good thing you asked, the annual drunken Santa flash mob destroyed some childlike illusions about that lush St. Nick.

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Tags: i am legend, santa flash mob, santacon, santarchy