Slayer's Jeff Hanneman

Sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, and dickheads the world over are in mourning today, for we lost one of the greats. Jeff Hanneman, guitarist and chief songwriter of Slayer, passed on and we adored him. We thought he was a righteous dude.

As metal fans, Slayer is such a part of our everyday lives that it's easy to forget how unique and special it is. For a band that sang so much about Lucifer and Nazi doctors, the members presented themselves as they were: Four goofy dudes from L.A. playing hella fast heavy metal. No pretense. They were guys you wanted to hang with. Just look at the back cover of their landmark 1986 album Reign In Blood, arguably the greatest metal record of all time, and tell us you don't want to drink a beer with those guys. Even to posers and non-hessians, throwing up the horns and yelling "Slayer!" carries much cultural weight. Everyone knows what that means. It means you are ready to fucking rock.

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Richard Haick

Anthrax at the Regency Ballroom last night. All photos by Richard Haick

Anthrax, Exodus, High On Fire, Municipal Waste, Holy Grail
Thursday, March 28, 2013
The Regency Ballroom

Better than: Actually getting Anthrax (the bacterial disease).

You could smell the heshers all the way down to Van Ness and Geary. The air reeked of sweat and Pantene Pro-V. There be a metal show a-goin on at The Regency Ballroom, y'all. This was the 2013 edition of the Metal Alliance Tour. Seminal NYC thrash outfit Anthrax headlined to a completely sold-out crowd, but not before four other insanely great bands would play. We got ourselves a "fest" here, people, and that can only mean one thing: it's time to drink BEER!

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When you think of the No. 1 metal comedy dad, one name usually comes to mind: Jimmy "James" Hetfield. But comedian Brian Posehn comes in at a close second. We first came to know Brian from the HBO cult sketch comedy Mr. Show. He has since blown the fuck up, appearing in things like The Sarah Silverman Program and The Comedians Of Comedy, writing for Marvel Comics and directing and appearing in videos for bands like Red Fang and Steel Panther. We caught up with BriPo, a native of NorCal and father of a 4-year-old son, to talk metal and ask him some fatherly advice in anticipation of his stand-up appearances at Cobb's Comedy Club, April 11-14.

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By Cory Sklar
[Hella Weights is a new column in which Cory Sklar (@AskChaki) will muse on the current state of metal.]

Internet Reacts to Guy Getting Kicked Out of Band That Has Sucked Since the '90s
Last week, super-influential drummer Dave Lombardo went crying for his baba and binky and took to his Facebook page to complain about getting kicked out of Slayer, the band he helped form in 1981. Apparently he wasn't getting mad paid and was like, "Wha?" So he did some sleuthing regarding the band's finances. Great work, gumshoe! He found that something like 10 billion million bucks were missing. As the story goes, he brought this up to the other remaining band members, Kerry King and Tom Araya, during band practice, and they didn't want to hear any of it. Lombardo was promptly removed from the band after refusing to sign some insane non-disclosure contract. Needless to say, Internet metalnerds born after Dave left the first time in the 1986 became OUTRAGED! Let it be known, the new official spelling is now $£A¥€R (lol get it cuz it's money signs?)

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Metallica performing at the Keystone in Palo Alto. Photo by Brian Lew, from the book Murder in the Front Row: Shots From the Bay Area Thrash Metal Epicenter

Think of Bay Area metal, and you may think of a certain band with an iconic logo and a big-ass catalog and a Napster problem. And yes, the classic output of that band still looms pretty large. But while Metallica and thrash play a big part, the story of Bay Area metal includes many different sounds and tempos -- and even a few bands that you may not think of as "metal" proper. Here then is our list of the Top 21 Bay Area metal albums of all time. Enjoy.

See also
* The Top 20 Greatest San Francisco Musicians
* The Top 15 Most Cocaine-Influenced Albums of All Time

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Metallica in the backyard of its house on San Pablo Ave. in El Cerrito. Photo by Harald Oimoen, from the book Murder in the Front Row: Shots From the Bay Area Thrash Metal Epicenter.

Our countdown of the best Bay Area metal albums continues today with this installment: the 10 best ever. And guess which band comes up a lot on this one?

See also
* The Top 21 Bay Area Metal Albums of All Time, #21-11
* The Top 20 Greatest San Francisco Musicians
* The Top 15 Most Cocaine-Influenced Albums of All Time

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Oakland's High on Fire

Thrash. Thrash. Thrash. Yes, thrash is what the Bay Area metal scene is famous for. But it doesn't all begin and end with blistering riffs -- our local bands have churned out plenty sludgy stoner metal as well, and even some very heavy shit that's damn near unclassifiable. It's all here on our list of the Top 21 Bay Area metal albums of all time, nos. 21-11. Check back tomorrow for the Top 10.

See also:
* The Top 15 Most Cocaine-Influenced Albums of All Time: The Complete List
* The Top 20 Greatest San Francisco Musicians: The Complete List

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Ghost

Whether inspired by frigid temperatures, pre-Christian pagan mythology or brutally long winters, the Scandinavian nations of Northern Europe have produced more than their share of black-hearted metal bands singing the praises of Satan. The dark legacy stretches from the pioneering lo-fi chaos of Sweden's Bathory and the blasphemous banshee howl of influential Danish outfit Mercyful Fate in the 1980s through the notorious rise of the Norwegian black-metal underground that left a wake of dead band members and burnt-out churches during the 1990s.

The frantic blast beats and corrosive guitars of now-iconic groups like Mayhem, Emperor, and Marduk continue to spread their sacrilegious message. But the past year has found like-minded Swedish band Ghost earning a global following with a totally different approach. Marrying the occult riff-rock of Blue Öyster Cult and Black Sabbath with Mercyful Fate's costumed theatrics and unholy lyrical psalms to Lucifer (sometimes delivered in Latin), Ghost's outlandish year-old debut Opus Anonymous (on Rise Above Records) offers up some of the most hook-laden Satanic metal ever made. Fronted by skull-painted, demonic anti-Pope Papa Emeritus and filled out by a crew of faceless, black-robed musician disciples, Ghost's striking live presentation has helped make the group one of the fastest-rising metal bands in recent memory. A Nameless Ghoul (one of the band's two guitar players) recently spoke to All Shook Down about the band's first U.S. tour and the musical roots behind Ghost's apocalyptic hymns. Ghost plays Bottom of the Hill on Wednesday, Feb. 1, 9 p.m. $13-$15 (sold out).

How was your reception in New York City and the other places you've played so far?

Overwhelming. It was really something. Especially coming back to New York and selling out for the second time there. We had a vague feeling about what to expect, but I think they actually topped that. Even though we're not particularly hard to get in terms of language... for some reason in England and the U.S., the reception is always better. People sing and there's something special about it. I guess there's some sort of will to be entertained as opposed to some European regions. So we feel very much at home in the U.S. as an entertainment group.

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R.I.P. Jani Lane

​Like us, you are probably still reeling from the news that Warrant frontman Jani Lane, died last week. Okay, so maybe it's not a "probably" situation -- maybe it's more of a "maybe" kind of thing. Come to think of it, maybe, if you were born after 1990, you've never even heard of Warrant (and that would be a genuine shame). Regardless, Jani died last week and he was only 47, so, as a tribute, and in his honor, we'd like to dedicate this list to him, featuring, as it does, many, many scantily-attired women (which we know he liked quite a bit), and probably some of his friends too. Here's the top five sexist hard rock videos he'd have loved.

5. "Legs," ZZ Top



You know what lowly shoe store attendants need? Makeovers, that's what. Makeovers conducted by three metal spokesmodels and masterminded by two old, dirty bearded men and their moustachioed side-kick. Because if you're female, it is impossible to feel fulfilled or empowered, without (a) a shopping montage and (b) wearing frilly pink ankle socks and skirts that flash your underwear to the world every time you move. As we all know, when skirts get shorter, the ability to fight back increases. Glad that's cleared up, then.

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Iron Maiden is better than Metallica.

We don't necessarily agree, but that was the contention made by Maiden singer Bruce Dickinson in a recent interview with UK magazine Metal Hammer.

"You've just got to have a sense of fearlessness," the singer said, according to a posting on NME. "I got into trouble for saying that we're better than Metallica ... and it's true!"

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