Kahley Avalon Emerson

Better than: Bottomless mimosas and eggs with hollandaise.

It was 11 p.m. on Sunday, and we were standing in line beneath a giant fiberglass cow. A lone cyclist in a panda costume pedaled by across the street. As we shuffled towards the entrance, a loose-suited bouncer glanced at Avalon and looked me over incredulously: "You're here for Honey Soundsystem, right?" As it happened, we were. But, you can't blame him for asking -- Holy Cow on Sunday is an unlikely place for a straight couple. Then again, Holy Cow seems an unusual choice for a gay party. Visit the club on Friday or Saturday (or, better yet, live the experience through pictures) and you'll find yourself in a straight meat market. What could compel a party like Honey to work with a venue like Holy Cow? The answer to that question lies in the party's aesthetic.

Kahley Avalon Emerson

Better than: The same party without Flying Lotus?

The first time I ever went to Low End Theory was at its Los Angeles residence, at The Airliner. If you've been to that venue, then you know the incongruous situation of the party's satellite in San Francisco. Down south, the night pops off in a grungy dive -- a fact that lends the proceedings a vibe of raw energy and busted cool. The translation of that feeling to 1015 Folsom (one of the largest and most "super" of San Francisco's clubs) has always seemed an odd choice. All the grit is gone, replaced instead by a sharp clubbiness at odds with the party's stoned soundtrack. Yet, in spite of this, Low End Theory's events in San Francisco are always well attended, and this month's appearance by Flying Lotus all but guaranteed that the venue would be at capacity.

Kahley Avalon Emerson

3 Kings of House: Louie Vega, David Morales, and Tony Humphries
Mighty
April 28, 2012

Better than: A simulacrum of house.

It was like something out of a historical account of club culture. You know, the kind of thing that seems so idealized that it comes off as fiction. Our taxi came to a stop in front of Mighty to find both music and people billowing out the entrance. Jumbling through my pockets for a $10 bill to pay fare, I couldn't help but grin with anticipation as the voice of a wailing diva floated out and possessed the desolate expanse of Utah street. This night would be a form of pilgrimage; an ultimate schooling in the arcane rites of New York house music.

Derek Opperman

Better than: Last weekend's awful weather.

"BOO-BWELE-BOO-BWELE-BOO-BWELE-UH-HA! BOO-BWELE-BOO-BWELE-BOO-BWELE-UH-HA!" The immortal chant of Dan Akroyd and Eddie Murphy echoed through the room, shaking the sweat loose from the walls. In front of me, two drag queens in glittering couture strutted around like catwalk models. A lone voguer in a tartan vest formed obscure hieroglyphic shapes with his body in time to the beat's strobing attack. It was one a.m. on Sunday morning, and I was back at Public Works again.

Kahley Avalon Emerson

Monroe Afterhours with Nikita, Bo, Rooz, and Lee Burridge
Monroe
March 18, 2012

Better than: Brunch.

If Internet rumors are to be trusted -- and if you can't trust the Internet, what can you trust? -- then the history of California's 2 a.m. alcohol curfew dates back to World War II. Apparently laws were placed on the books to get people home in case of some cataclysmic Japanese bombing run. Somehow these supposed wartime laws were never amended, and they've since become the bane of the entire state's drinking population. Yet, while many are content to end their night at two, there are plenty of people out there that desire a more European (or Las Vegasian, if you will) party experience. The fact is that the night doesn't necessarily need to end when the bars shut down, and demand has created an entire system that exists to cater to those hardcore enough to seek it out.

Kahley Avalon Emerson

Blow Up presents Felix Da Housecat
DNA Lounge
Friday, March 9, 2012

Better than: Macaulay Culkin's acting in Party Monster.

In a city with a rapidly expanding nightlife scene, it's sometimes easy to forget that the future of the industry lies in those clubs and events that cater to a younger audience. It's simple enough: the under-21 crowd of today is the over-21 crowd of tomorrow. Yet, the number of legitimate venues catering to this market has grown increasingly smaller in recent years. Grizzled by the War on Fun, most of the 18+ parties have moved away from the clubs and into the nebulous world of the underground. Talk with people in the scene, and invariably you'll hear stories about candy-coated massives held in warehouses throughout the Bay Area's nether regions. However, amidst this shift, there are still a few legitimate parties that have managed to carve a niche for themselves. One such event is Blow Up, Jeffrey Paradise and Ava Berlin's long-running 18+ extravaganza.

Kahley Avalon Emerson

No Way back Presents ESG
Mezzanine
Saturday, March 3

"It's perfect, they play it all perfect. Now everyone'll get to go and say they saw them and you can file it away and tell people 'I was there, maaaan.'" This was the warning given to me by a friend when I told him I was headed to ESG's farewell show last Saturday at the Mezzanine. Granted, he has a point: There's something questionable about old bands that reform and tour for the sake of profiting off nostalgia. Yet, in this case, I'm not sure if it's such an issue: ESG has been going strong since its re-incarnation in the early '00s, and in the 34 years since the ladies started, they've never given way to the bloated excesses that often comes with commercial success. In fact, listen to their latest material, and you'll find that it sounds strikingly similar to the music they've always made. Also important is that ESG is calling it quits, rather than trying to restart a career.

Fittingly, last Saturday saw the group do what it has always done best, as the members played a much-anticipated show in San Francisco on the final tour before the end of their run.

Kahley Avalon Emerson

Better than: Whatever else you were doing last night.

For many, weekend nightlife ends on Sunday morning. Not so for the dedicated crowd that frequents long-running Sunday night boogie party Sweater Funk. Like a secret nightcap to the weekend's festivities, it's the place to go if you've got a little more dance left in you before Monday hits. Located at Li Po Cocktail lounge, the party has attracted a family of devoted dancers and DJs in its nearly four-year run. Last night's party was no different, as West Coast pop-lockers and vinyl obsessives crowded in the basement to celebrate the birth of locally curated music blog Beat Electric's new record label with the release of its official re-issue of Carmen's "Time to Move."

Derek Opperman

Danny Daze at work

Lights Down Low's Six Year Anniversary
Public Works
Feb. 17, 2012

Better Than: Bizarre forms of enthusiasm.

Is anybody else fascinated by the recent arrival of megaparties? It feels like every weekend there are more crazed promoters dumping money into increasingly larger events. Nowadays it's possible and entirely normal to go out and see multiple headline acts under the same roof on the same evening. The latest installment in this ongoing saga comes from party crew Lights Down Low, which celebrated its six-year anniversary last Friday at Public works with DJ performances by Ewan Pearson, Danny Daze, Todd Edwards, Creep, and many others.

Kahley Avalon Emerson

Back 2 Back Seven-Year Anniversary
Mighty
Feb. 10, 2012

Better than: Mr. Peabody's time machine.

San Francisco has a long history of nightlife and vice. Take a walk through the city, and the architecture seems to call out at you with images of days gone by and long-changed ways of doing things. This goes double for San Francisco's clubs, many of which have gone through multiple ownership changes and bizarre makeovers. The youngest specters of our city's past all seem to emanate from the 1990s, an era that's popularly considered the last great boom to occur in local nightlife. Back then, raving was novel, and new money from the dot-com boom pushed the city's nocturnal culture to a critical mass. Last Friday I might as well have had an encounter with a ghost, as Avalon and I found ourselves knee-deep in the detritus of a city that once was, as we enjoyed ourselves under the mirror balls at Mighty for Garth and Jeno's Back 2 Back Seven-Year Anniversary.