Music's Best and Worst April Fool's Day Pranks

Categories: Lists
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Yesterday, as we're sure you all noticed, was that annual day of tomfoolery and japing, known as April Fool's Day. It's a chance for the world to take a step back, take itself less seriously and then annoy the crap out of its co-workers, friends and family with bare-faced lies and ridiculous behavior. This year, as usual, the world of music joined in. Here are the best and worst pranks.
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Top Five '90s Bands We Wish Were on the Bottle Rock Lineup

Categories: Lists

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We wish.
So the lineup for Bottle Rock Napa Valley came out today, and it's basically a list of all the 1990s bands you ever loved or once sang along to on the radio without knowing quite who they were. Like, Spin Doctors? Gin Blossoms? Blues Traveler? Smash Mouth? And this is on top of Clinton-era survivors like Weezer and the recently reunited OutKast. The Bottle Rock lineup didn't totally satisfy our lust for '90s nostalgia, though -- here are five more bands we think would go great on this bill.


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Diamond Dog: Five of David Bowie's Most Surprising Lovers

Categories: Lists
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David Bowie is a maverick, a creative genius and, most importantly, he's still making great music. But, now that he's an elder statesman, it's easy to forget what a long and storied past this unconventional weirdo has had. Forget the time he rescued Iggy Pop from rehab and the two hit the road together, the Duke's love-life alone is a sight to behold. And yes, while Bowie has been married to the unbelievably magical Iman for the last 22 years, there were flings aplenty before that blessed union occurred. Here are five of Bowie's most surprising ex-lovers.


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Vanilla Ice Shilling Mac & Cheese, and Musicians' Five Strangest Appearances in TV Commercials

Categories: Lists
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We know how it is. You're a musician, perhaps not at your peak, perhaps worried about the future, and some smart company recognizes your downward swing and comes along and makes you a lucrative offer too good to refuse. This is how probably how Vanilla Ice just ended up in a commercial for Kraft Mac & Cheese:


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Music Quotes of the Week: Yeezy Gets Humble, Odd Future Gets Rejected, Madonna Gets Sick

Categories: Lists
A summary of this week's news, via the mouths of musicians and media:

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"If we can raise $300,000 for Cancer For College I will face off with you in the greatest drum vs. cowbell showdown the world has ever seen. We can do it on stage at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert or in front of a mutually convenient public library. Your call."
Will Ferrell publicly accepting RHCP drummer Chad Smith's challenge to a drum-off

"I hate my music! I'm sick of it. Like, turn it off!"
You have yourself a deal, Madonna (ET Canada)


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Urine Big Trouble! 5 Public Pissers and the Messes They've Made

Categories: Lists
There are few things in life that truly unite us all as human beings. No matter what else in the world separates us, there is no race or gender or class when it comes to the most important aspects of being human, like love, hate ... and needing to pee. Most of us, no matter how desperate, would rather do our urinating away from the prying eyes of complete strangers (unless it's Folsom Street Fair, obviously). But there are always exceptions to rules, and some people -- mostly musicians as far as we can tell -- have few inhibitions when it comes to spending a penny publicly. Here are five notable examples.

Butthole Surfers
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Given that this legendary band's debut self-titled EP is also affectionately known as Pee Pee the Sailor, this shouldn't be too much of a surprise. But at an early -- and now legendary -- gig at New York's Danceteria club, too much acid was consumed and Butthole Surfers went completely frickin' bananas. It started with the drummer, Kytha Gernatt (a.k.a. Cabbage), who for some unknown reason had a plastic baseball bat full of pee with her. So, she did what any other person named Cabbage would do and baptized the audience with it, sprinkling urine all over their happy little faces. In all fairness, vocalist Gibby Haynes was naked and engaged in sexual acts with one of their skinhead dancers at the time, so maybe Cabbage was just trying to distract everyone.


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Music Quotes of the Week: Pussy Riot Schools Colbert While Flea Defends a Pre-Recorded Performance

Categories: Lists
A summary of this week's news, via the mouths of musicians and media:

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"The photographer kept saying 'Pop your hip out. Try to look cute. Big smiles, now.' And I was like 'I'm Number One in this country, not because I flirt and wink and all that shit, but because I've done exactly what I want to do'. So, no, he didn't get smiles".
Don't fuck with Lorde (Rolling Stone #1201)

"He has turned out to be something of a bad egg."
Conservative British newspaper The Daily Mail on Justin Bieber's recent arrests


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"Politicizing Beyonce" and Four Other College Courses About Musicians We'd Love to Take

Categories: Lists
Anyone who's ever done a degree in the humanities will tell you that the opportunity for studying music in college is plentiful. Generally speaking, it'll be a "History of Pop Music" type deal, or business students might get the opportunity to study the economics of the music industry occasionally. But once in a while, some magnificent professor takes what is clearly an overblown personal interest in an artist and turns all of that passion and intrigue into their actual job. Here are the music courses we'd most like to study if we were in college right now.

"Politicizing Beyonce," Rutgers University


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If you've ever fancied spending your days juxtaposing Beyonce's music videos with black feminist theory, this new course from Rutgers University's Department of Women's and Gender Studies will be right up your alley. The class will be taught by a Doctoral student named Kevin Allred. If we enrolled in this course, we'd be most disappointed in anything that didn't involve Allred conducting lectures in Beyonce's "Single Ladies" outfit and waving the metal glove every time an important point was made. (But we've probably just been watching too much of the Dean in Community.)


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Music Quotes of the Week: Describing Beyoncé's Dancing, Pete Seeger the Communist, and Miley on Feminism

Categories: Lists
A summary of this week's news, via the mouths of musicians and media:

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"You got robbed. I wanted you to win. You should have. It's weird and sucks that I robbed you. I was gonna say that during the speech. Then the music started playing... and I froze."
Macklemore apologizing to Kendrick Lamar for winning 'Best Rap Album' at the Grammys

"The microphone turns into a popsicle! We're... getting some heaters on everything. I got three gallons of hairspray, so I'm good!"
Bruno Mars on how he's prepping for Sunday's Superbowl Halftime Show (OMG! Insider)


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"Justin Bieber is a Piece of Shit" and Other Great Reactions to His Arrest

Categories: Lists, The Twitter
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Bieber in simpler times
If you are alive and in possession of all of your faculties, then you have already heard about everybody's favorite fake lesbian, Justin Bieber, getting arrested for drag-racing in a rented Lamborghini the other day, while allegedly under the influence (and without a valid license) in Miami. Sadly, the fact that he was not actually over the legal alcohol limit (which doesn't matter if you're underage -- it's still a DUI) and that he was doing about 55 mph (irresponsible, yes, but neither fast, nor furious) has not been reported nearly as much as we'd like. Truly, all this incident really proves is that Justin Bieber is more half-assed than bad-assed (but we knew that when we found out that his means of exacting revenge is EGG-THROWING).

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