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We're supergay for Call of Duty 4 on PS3, on account of its realism, intensity, and all the towelheads running around yelling "derka-derka-derka!" as we pump them full of ammo. As such, you'll be able to find us on the Activision servers all this weekend kicking infidel, towel-head and Russian ass for Double XP. As if the game isn't addicting enough, ranking up and beating challenges will be half as hard this weekend, because Activision promises double the amount of experience points for playing online this weekend. Oh man, our girlfriends are going to be pissed at us. Cross swords with me online under the ps3 name "d2d"; cus that's how I kick it — dick-to-dick. —David Downs

Every Tuesday, GamerStatus looks at the games SF Weekly plays. This week, the Mother of All 2007 Titles. Halo 3! -ed

By Oscar Pascual
Photo by Paul Quitoriano

I’ve been in some big-ass lines in my time. Jurassic Park the movie, Jurassic Park the Ride, Rio the Vegas buffet, and now Halo 3 the video game. Venturing out to the Stonestown Galleria in the Avenues last night, I embarked on a 3-hour odyssey of waiting for possibly the biggest entertainment release this year. Even Michael Bay doesn’t have shit on this game.

You would think that an event release of such epic proportions would yield an awesome wait in line, but 200+ dickheads and morons standing around playing PSP is quite the antithesis.

Nobody dressed up as Master Chief, no rowdy fights broke out, and not even a fog machine was present. I had to make this wait larger than life, so I did the best I could-- I listened to Jay-Z and Morrissey on my iPod. Halo 3 aside, this week belongs to them just as well, as the Moz is holding court at the Fillmore for four shows, and young Hov just announced the November 6 release of his new album, American Gangster. Personally, I think all three pack heat like the oven door, but that’s a different story.

Thankfully a few hours of tedium weren’t unbearable and my early arrival was enough to get in and out in just half an hour. I then rushed back for glorious slayer matches, as our boy with the golden lens Paul Quitoriano flanked my side. After a phone call for some pizza, the bloodshed was ready to begin.

After a very pretty options screen, we jumped straight into an online lobby for a four-way slayer match. While the wait in line wasn’t epic, the numbers on Xbox Live were, as the game informed us that over 203,000 folks were online playing Halo 3. The menu even has a map of the globe that lights up in areas where the game is played. Apparently, there’s only one gamer in Africa playing Halo3, and s/he’s in ...

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Every Tuesday, SF Weekly's culture blog 'All Shook Down' writes about what video games it played over the last week. We call it: GamerStatus. -d2

Warhawk Addiction Sets In
Games bought: Warhawk, PS3
Games played: Warhawk, PS3
By David Downs

PS3 sucks big time, people. It's pricey. There's no games. And the games they release are glitchy as fuck. Still, Warhawk, makes me happy I waited in line to buy this damn supahcomputah.

Released in mid-August, this third-person, multi-player combat shooter/driver/flier might be one of the most fun next-gen games out there to play, that is, when it works. First off, you can download the game from the PS3 network for $40. If you want to go into the store, a physical copy is $60 and comes with a headset. You can only play the game online. It might be one of the first console-based games ever to require an internet connection just to work.

The payoff is immense. Thirty-two person air battles crackle above cityscapes in huge, snarling dogfights. Anti-aircraft missiles launch from bases, while tanks and jeeps stage ground assaults, deploying infantry to seize territory and rack up kills.

Moreover, we're gonna need a bigger TV. You and three of your closest friends can jump in via split-screen at home: making this the online GoldenEye of PS3 – fun for all your bros.

The downside is a steep learning curve, and the innate perils of online functionality. I can't tell you how many times I've been kicked, dropped, and locked out of a server for various reasons ...

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