Christopher Victorio

Ah yes, the Coachella traffic jam.

Not going to Coachella? Don't be bummed out -- there are plenty of ways to have similar kinds of fun at home right here in the Bay Area. Don't believe us? Just work your way through this list 10 Coachella-simulating activities, and see if you don't feel better about not going to the real deal. (And if you are going, read our guide to the festival performers.) Here goes :

10. Go on a camping trip this weekend on a large lawn or a big-box store parking lot. Rain or shine, of course. Or, if you don't like camping, invite eight or 10 friends over to your studio apartment, share your bed with three of them, and have the rest sleep on the floor. (You should probably sleep on the floor for a night also, fairness and all.)

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Dominant Legs without their gear, which is pretty much the situation they're in now.

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One of our favorite local guitar-pop bands, Dominant Legs, is on tour now with Eleanor Friedberger. Unfortunately, on Wednesday, while the band was in Portland, a large amount of musical instruments, computer equipment, and clothes -- including frontman Ryan Lynch's lucky '87 S.F. Giants sweatshirt -- was stolen out of its tour van.

In an email, Lynch tells us the van was broken into while parked at 6th and Ash in Portland. He says the bandmembers were only a block away, for an hour, while the break-in occurred.

Bands have been known to recover their stolen gear before, so in the spirit of helping one of our local artists, we've got a full list of all the stolen gear after the jump. If you have any info on where their gear might be, please email Dominant Legs.

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Crushed. Crestfallen. Epically disappointed.

Start brainstorming adjectives now for your Tweets and Facebook status updates, 'cause there ain't no more tickets left to see Pulp at the Warfield, people. Tickets went on sale this morning at 10 a.m., and by 10:08, when our number got called in the online waiting room, the British band's first S.F. show since 1996 was sold. the fuck. out.

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The No. 30 club in the world, according to Pollstar.

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Update: Aaron Siuda, vice president of marketing at Live Nation Northern California, says that his firm generally does not report ticket sales to Pollstar. But he said if it had provided numbers, the Fillmore would have been in the Top 10 clubs on the Pollstar list. (Shoreline, also a Live Nation venue, wasn't on the Pollstar list of top amphitheaters. If numbers had been reported, Suida says, it would have been No. 2.) This feels more like the Bay Area music scene we know.

Original story: The concert industry trade site Pollstar released its annual list of the Top 100 clubs in the world today, as ranked by reported ticket sales, and San Francisco -- and indeed the entire Bay Area -- somehow has only one entry.

Since there are six listings in the L.A. area, three in the Twin Cities, seven in New York City, and three in Portland, it's kind of surprising that only the Independent made the list at No. 30, with 87,601 tickets sold in 2011, just behind Cain's Ballroom in Tulsa, Okla.

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Kimo's: If you haven't gone already, you missed it forever.

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We told you last month that Kimo's, the former gay bar on Polk Street that hosted lots of local rock shows, was going the way of Annie's Social Club and the dodo at the end of 2011. As of Dec. 31, its new owners were set to take over and convert the place into another haven for striped-shirted men with short haircuts and the high-heeled blondes who accompany them -- well, we're not sure who, exactly, but they probably won't be rock 'n' roll types.

But it turns out that live music at Kimo's didn't even last through the end of 2011. On Thursday, the venue's booker posted on its website that, effective immediately, all shows at Kimo's through the end of the year were either canceled or moved to another venue.

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Kimo's, at 1351 Polk St.

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Rock 'n' roll types who like their dives better get in their time at Kimo's now -- after this year, the longtime Polk Street bar and rock venue probably won't be a rock venue anymore.

The 34-year-old club, which has hosted shows by the likes of Metallica, as well as countless local bands, is in the process of being sold. And the current owners of Kimo's expect that it won't remain a home for live local music in the hands of its new owners, who will likely take possession in January.

Current co-owner Tony Malson says he's not totally sure of the purchasers' plans, but "my gut feeling is that they're going to make it into a cocktail lounge." (The purchasers declined through a representative to speak to All Shook Down for this story.)

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​There is only Hard Times left for Absolutely Kosher.

Battered by the economic collapse and by titanic shifts within the music industry, the 13-year-old independent Berkeley record label that released albums from artists such as the Mountain Goats, the Wrens, Xiu Xiu, and Pinback's Rob Crow will stop releasing new music this fall, according to its founder and owner, Cory Brown.

Absolutely Kosher's final release will be the third album from Victoria, B.C., outfit Himalayan Bear, due out Oct. 11. The name of the album could serve as description for what has befallen its label: Hard Times.

"My resolve has been slowly chipped away to the point where I really am left with no choice here," Brown, 40, tells All Shook Down. "I'd love to continue, but I can't."

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Broken Social Scene at Treasure Island last year.

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Canadian art-rock collective Broken Social Scene is coming to the Bay Area at the beginning of next month for two shows on Oct 1: One at the free Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival, and one at the not-free Fillmore.

But while we've grown used to seeing this band tour with reasonable regularity -- BSS played the Fillmore once in spring 2010 and played again at the Treasure Island Music Festival -- these upcoming shows might be fans' last chance to see it live for a very long while.

According to an interview that band member Kevin Drew gave to Pitchfork, Broken Social Scene is planning on taking an indefinite hiatus after the upcoming shows.

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This Time Next Year

​Normally, we'd consider Walnut Creek a safe-enough place. But the East Bay suburb wasn't very good to a trailer holding the gear of hometown pop-punk outfit This Time Next Year -- the band's poor trailer was stolen the other night, right on the city's usually placid, oak-lined streets.

The trailer held pretty much all of the Equal Vision Records' band's gear and tour merch, so they're asking for help in getting it back. After the jump, we've got a full list of the equipment stolen.

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Iggy Pop at a Stooges gig this summer. Via Facebook

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Update: Iggy and the Stooges' shows at the Warfield have been rescheduled to Dec. 4 and 6.More >>