Urine Big Trouble! 5 Public Pissers and the Messes They've Made

Categories: Lists
There are few things in life that truly unite us all as human beings. No matter what else in the world separates us, there is no race or gender or class when it comes to the most important aspects of being human, like love, hate ... and needing to pee. Most of us, no matter how desperate, would rather do our urinating away from the prying eyes of complete strangers (unless it's Folsom Street Fair, obviously). But there are always exceptions to rules, and some people -- mostly musicians as far as we can tell -- have few inhibitions when it comes to spending a penny publicly. Here are five notable examples.

Butthole Surfers
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Given that this legendary band's debut self-titled EP is also affectionately known as Pee Pee the Sailor, this shouldn't be too much of a surprise. But at an early -- and now legendary -- gig at New York's Danceteria club, too much acid was consumed and Butthole Surfers went completely frickin' bananas. It started with the drummer, Kytha Gernatt (a.k.a. Cabbage), who for some unknown reason had a plastic baseball bat full of pee with her. So, she did what any other person named Cabbage would do and baptized the audience with it, sprinkling urine all over their happy little faces. In all fairness, vocalist Gibby Haynes was naked and engaged in sexual acts with one of their skinhead dancers at the time, so maybe Cabbage was just trying to distract everyone.

Blind Melon's Shannon Hoon

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Y'know, it's a real shame that Blind Melon will forever be remembered as that-band-that-had-that-tap-dancing-bee-girl-in-the-video-for-that-annoying-song because they actually had a few moments of grace and great promise. But Halloween 1993, playing an opening slot for Lenny Kravitz at Vancouver's Pacific Coliseum was not one of the band's finest moments, unfortunately. Vocalist Shannon Hoon, visibly intoxicated, performed a chunk of the set stark-bollock-naked, dry-humped a dude dressed as a bee, and then peed on the front row to a chorus of protests. Inevitably, he was arrested. Because it was a LENNY KRAVITZ ARENA CONCERT. Not that smart, Mr. Hoon.

Ozzy Osbourne

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It was the inappropriate piss that would trickle down through the ages! That time Ozzy Osbourne -- drunken, English, heavy metal icon -- went for a late night wander in San Antonio, Texas, while wearing a dress (naturally) and decided to relieve himself on what he later described as an old wall. It was, of course, the Alamo. Or, more specifically, Alamo Plaza's memorial cenotaph. Locals were so enraged that Ozzy was banned from performing there for a full decade. The bitterness only subsided after Monsieur Osbourne gave $10,000 to the organization that maintains the site. Now, that was an expensive wizz.

NOFX's Fat Mike, as Cokie the Clown

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The only thing anyone remembers about 2010's SXSW in Austin was the fact that Fat Mike from NOFX played one of the most disturbing shows in the history of the conference. Dressed as his alter ego, Cokie the Clown, the usually hilarious punker told what he later referred to as "the most horrific stories of my life," gave out shots to the crowd from a bottle of Patron tequila, and then finished up an all-round upsetting performance by showing a video of himself peeing into a bottle of Patron before striding onstage with it. When the Austin Health Department got involved, Mike claimed it was all a hoax and that he hadn't really tricked those nice people in the audience into drinking his piss. We can't help but doubt the validity of that statement.

Black Lips

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The members of Black Lips have taken a slash on stage so many times that these days it's almost more of a surprise when they don't. The band was banned from a number of New York venues after peeing on stage, fellow tour-mates have claimed they all regularly practice pissing into their own mouths, and rumors continue to circulate that vocalist Cole Alexander has spat his own urine on fans on a number of occasions. SF fans who attended an Almighty Defenders show in Bimbo's in 2010 bore witness to Alexander peeing into the mouth of bandmate King Khan, who combined that with some Jameson before spitting it out at the audience. Their mothers must be so proud.

-- @Raemondjjjj
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