"Bound 2": Kanye West and Kim K. Ride a Washing Machine Into Divorceville

kim-kanye-bound-2.jpg

You know those paintings of eagles and wolves and mountains and white horses and dream-catchers on black velvet, that are favored only by truck drivers, dudes who live in cabins, and cool kids who buy awful crap to be ironic? Well, those 1970s, color-by-numbers, bastions of poor taste got a boost this week when Kanye West based his new video, for "Bound 2," on everything that ever happens in them.

To make things infinitely more hilarious, Yeezy also invited his baby mama, Kim Kardashian, to be in the clip wearing a body that either (a) isn't hers or (b) has been heavily altered by tech wizardry to make her skinnier than she's ever been in her life.

Oh, just take a look at this nonsense already:

We know, we know. The first time you see this thing you go from slack-jawed wonderment to piss-your-pants-laughing in the time it takes a Ducati to go from zero to 60. And not just because the "effects" team on this job decided that sitting on a moving motorcycle looks exactly the same as sitting on top of an unstable washing machine on spin cycle. Why is Kimye vibrating like that?!

As for the song...well, this thing starts out just fine and descends into what can only be compared to the ramblings of SNL's Drunk Uncle: "You remember when we first met? Okay. I don't remember when we first met. But hey, admitting is the first step...and I know, with the hoes I got the worst rep, but, ey, the backstroke I'm tryin' to perfect. Ey-ey, you know we made it to Thanksgiving, so, ey, maybe we can make it to Christmas."

Is this weird out-loud-train-of-thought supposed to be romantic? Because if Kanye is directing this to the topless fiancée who's straddling him on the washing machine, it's actually pretty insulting. And then, to make matters worse, shortly after telling Kim their relationship might not make it to the end of the year, he ponders what would occur if she asked him about his "wish list" thusly: "Have you ever asked your bitch for other bitches?"

Now, we know Kim Kardashian isn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but how has she not noticed what he's saying on this track? He is literally saying it to her (pouting, perfectly chiseled) face. If these two ever split, TMZ, the E! Network and every tabloid in the country will just point to the "Bound 2" video and exclaim: "Duh! Here he is telling her he wants to cheat on her and probably break up with her! While she's topless and wrapped around his tie-dye!"

Look. We actually love Kim and Kanye together. If ever there was a match made in heaven, it's between these two money-hungry, fashion-obsessed narcissists. We don't want them to break up -- and not just for the sake of their ridiculously-titled (but very cute) offspring, North West. Because if this video proves anything, it's that when these two are working together, the results are bafflingly entertaining. Think of the hilarity we can enjoy if they do make it past Christmas.

P.S. The line "I wanna fuck you hard on the sink, after that get you somethin' to drink" made us LOL for 10 minutes.

-- @Raemondjjjj



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28 comments
Hew Burney
Hew Burney

Time to Shoot a PORN so they can GO to VEGAS with a Purpose..

Esperanza Fernando
Esperanza Fernando

let's remember that this is all a publicity stunt.. the more we engage and comment the more money they make.. so if you want to give money to people like them for pointless art/music due to social human behavior, then don't comment.. just putting it out there.. if people don't already know ..

Dawn Michelle S
Dawn Michelle S

Two of the most ego-centric people ever to become in contact! Seriously, can't wait to see how this goes down in flames!

Frankie Brazelton
Frankie Brazelton

This came off as a parody of a parody. It has to be inentionally bad. It is masterful crap. Nobody can write lyrics and make a video that awful without trying really hard to suck.

Jim Yu
Jim Yu

Wow. Kanye has officially become the Kenny g and David hasselhoff of hip hop. The video is just as bad as the song.

Ana M Soriano
Ana M Soriano

The song doesn't make any sense. It is not meaningful in any way. It just looks like an opportunity to make some money and show off.

Dan Gorman
Dan Gorman

only problem is the song's amazing

Jerry White
Jerry White

They don't care what the lyrics are. They have our eyeballs and that's all that counts.

Michael Harms
Michael Harms

Logically the hair in his face would of been taking it to far as there is already four DMV violations in this picture alone. Safety First!

Lu Ramirez
Lu Ramirez

the guy really thinks he's a creative force too. de-lusional

NorCal Crowe
NorCal Crowe

One bad concept One what I'm sure is a horrrrible song One douche of a human One whore What isn't great about this video..hahahaha

Tony Gallen
Tony Gallen

Kanye and Kim deserve each other. Both crappy human beings

Erik Johnson
Erik Johnson

Sometimes you just make art to do it. It's fun and just not important enough to be appalled by. Also ... What if the laugh you had was the goal?

John Gilles
John Gilles

If you ignore the ridiculous video and just focus on the song... GAH! WTF? The emperor truly wears no clothes.

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