5 Musicians Who Wrote Children's Books
What's the title of Vinnie Stigma's children's book? The appropriately bitter: "I Thought You Were My Friend." Stigma told the Tyranny of Tradition website that he "was thinkin' about how stupid kids are today with all of the hugging and sharing nonsense... So, I wrote this book to help them not be so freakin' dumb. Teach 'em some stuff that could make them so they don't get their skulls smashed in everyday and whatnot." Yes. And whatnot. It's funny that Stigma thinks he wrote the book though -- the entire story is basically that Warriors movie from 1979, done with rabbits. Nice try, buddy.
Geri Halliwell, Spice Girls
Given the fact that her daughter is named Bluebell Madonna, we think Ginger Spice's children's book character, Ugenia Lavender, has rather a dull name. Just kidding. Ugenia herself looks like a Bratz doll and is "totally ingenious!" So, it's basically one big extension of the Spice Girls' version of girl power -- a bit shallow and a bit shouty. Still probably better than Disney princesses though, it has to be said.
Jewel has released a ton of country music specifically geared towards children, and her kids' book, "That's What I'd Do", is accompanied by a lullaby of the same name on CD, for parents to play as they go through the book with their offspring. Of all the other singers putting out children's literature, Jewel seems to put the most feeling into hers -- both book and lullaby are about the bond between mother and child. Cuteness overload.
Sting was too busy having tantric sex and slappindabass to come up with his own story, so he just did a re-working of biblical tale of Noah's Ark, titled: "Rocksteady: A Story of Noah's Ark." It seems like an odd choice, given that he once told Time magazine "I'm essentially agnostic. I don't have a problem with God. I have a problem with religion. I've chosen to live my life without the certainties of religious faith. I think they're dangerous." Way to corrupt a generation, dude!