5 Reasons Why Drunken British Musicians Are the Best Drunken Musicians

Categories: Silliness

adele-grammys-performance-2012-A.jpg
Adele: Even more charming when drunk.
Why is it that when British people drink too much, they become 10 times funnier? It's not just the accents (though that does definitely help). There is just something specific to coming from that island -- and we have no idea what it is -- that inspires a special next-level of unhindered glee and cockiness after too much boozing. Here are our favorite incidents of British singers getting "pissed" (that means wasted where they come from, not angry) in public.

Liam Gallagher Rides a Dog

Reports surfaced earlier this week that Liam Gallagher had run up a £300 bar tab in Ye Olde White Bear pub in Hampstead (a posh part of London). Sure, that doesn't sound like a great deal of money in celebrity terms, but £300 can buy an awful lot of even the fancy champagne Gallagher was drinking, especially when tipping isn't involved. So we're not terribly surprised that one thing led to another and Liam mounted the nearest animal. That's right -- witnesses told The Sun newspaper that the ex-Oasis (and current Beady Eye) singer "was absolutely hammered" and "tried to get on [a] dog's back". Nice one, Liam. We're hoping it was a Great Dane and not a Chihuahua

Kim Wilde Busks on a Train

Watching this, the first thing you notice is that Kim Wilde is slurring, shit-faced drunk, and she's wearing reindeer antlers (at one point, she takes them off, checks that they still exist, then pops them back on her drunken little head), while doing a smashing rendition of her 1982 hit "Kids in America." The second thing that happens is that you recognize how amazing it would be to end up on a late night train home watching this insanity unfold. Then, the third -- and possibly best -- thing about this entire video is how insanely uncomfortable the uptight English folk in that carriage are, and how little Kim could give a fuck (she restarts the song three times). That guy on the left in the specs and the anorak clearly cares not for any of this nonsense.

Amy Winehouse Being Not Tragic

Possibly the saddest thing about Amy Winehouse's legacy is the fact that people have forgotten what an awesomely funny and sweet lady she was, and have just turned her into a figure of depression, addiction, and tragedy. In the above video she is adorable, ignoring both the camera and most of the questions asked by Huey from the Fun Lovin Criminals, and shamelessly flirting with him, yelling at her dad, and adjusting her bra instead. "I was obsessed with you," she smirks at Huey. "I still am." This is one of the least pretentious and media-planned interviews we've ever seen. Props, Amy.

Lily Allen Says "Monkey Bum-Bum" to... an Arctic Monkey

It's quite obvious here that the TV presenters in this clip (both are BBC Radio One DJs in the UK) are stifling a lot of nerves and some residual anger about the fact that Lily Allen has invaded what was probably going to be a sensible interview with the Arctic Monkeys and completely taken over. You can also tell that they're terrified to give her access to a microphone in case she says something profane on live television -- which she does, of course, despite earlier managing to substitute the word "arse" with the inventive phrase "monkey bum-bum."

Adele Insults the Entire Golden Globes Audience

Now, there's a couple of things going on here: The first is that Adele is a down-to-earth working class girl who says whatever the hell she wants. (Her lack of filter is really quite spectacular.) The second is that this is clearly the first night out she's had in quite some time, so she's had too much to drink, and just says whatever pops into her head. Which happens to be: "Honestly, I've come out with my friend Ida. We're new mums... We've been pissing ourselves laughing at all of you." And she's so natural about it all, all those snooty celebrities just laugh along with the insult. Magic.

-- @Raemondjjjj



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