Carly Rae Jepsen Attempts to Get No One to Call Her Ever

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Last year was the year of "Call Me Maybe". Carly Rae Jepsen nailed everything that was awesome about pop music with that song: It was infuriatingly catchy, had a great video, was adopted and openly loved by the country's hottest stars (and therefore became extraordinarily zeitgeisty), and showed up pretty much everywhere. And it still never got old. "Call Me Maybe" will live on for years to come, and follow-up single "This Kiss" was pretty good too, so it was always going to be hard to keep the ball rolling. Which is why "Tonight I'm Getting Over You" is such a predictable letdown.




Rhyming "tears" with "fears" from the get-go makes us realize immediately that the rhyming dictionary thing only works when the song has a hook as solid as "Call Me Maybe." But that's not the real problem here. The real problem is that this song could be by absolutely anybody. And if it had been released by anyone but Carly Rae Jepsen, it would probably garner about a tenth of the attention.

The true nail in the coffin, however, is the fact that, when the chorus kicks in on "Tonight I'm Getting Over You," something very strange happens. Rather than embracing the perky pop that Jepsen has pleased us so with previously, this weird, heavy dance shit kicks in in the background. You can practically see a label suit wandering into the studio, mid-recording, and saying "Well, we hear that the dubstep is big these days, so try and incorporate something like that somewhere." It doesn't fit with Jepsen's upbeat persona, and it doesn't fit with the slightly sad nature of the song.

Most of all, "Tonight I'm Getting Over You" just doesn't have a personality. It's almost like everyone was panicking so much about following "Call Me Maybe" and "This Kiss" that they simply tried to do too many things at once. It just doesn't work. Oh. And the video is so generic in so many different ways, it makes us shake our heads in disapproval like miserable old folk.

We desperately want Carly Rae Jepsen to forge a great pop career for herself, with many more songs that make us feel silly and 13-years-old and drunk on life again. But "Tonight I'm Getting Over You" isn't it, because it can't make up its mind if it wants to be a ballad or a dance track. It's neither here nor there.

So back to the drawing board, Jepsen! We know you've got another "Call Me Maybe" in there somewhere, so we'll let this one go. Everyone should, too -- this is way too average to garner any kind of genuine excitement.

-- @Raemondjjjj
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