Lil Wayne, Drake, and Future Play Misogyny Mad Libs in "Bitches Love Me"

Occasionally, a music video comes along that plumbs the depths of absurdity to such a grand degree, we feel like we're watching an SNL parody. Or a Dave Chapelle skit. As far as we're concerned, the only person who's allowed to make unintentionally comedic music is R. Kelly. Because when he does it, it involves imitating females from the South, "midgets," and knocking people up. Sadly, L'il Wayne, Drake and Future didn't get the memo. We'd like to introduce you to "Bitches Love Me" -- a song that requires so much censorship, watching this on MTV is like a game of Mad Libs set to music. Check it out:


Watching "Bitches Love Me", you get the feeling that even the bitches in the video think the whole thing is patently ridiculous. (It is of course.) Let's have a look and see what the ladies are up to in this video: ladies in cages, ladies with butterflies resting on their faces, ladies with a literal blood bath, ladies having a paddle in a flooded bedroom, ladies on scaffolding, ladies chewing on chains, ladies on a swing set, ladies in face bondage, ladies with cats eyes and tails... It's so over-the-top absurd, it's impossible to view this thing as anything other than a massive joke.

Constructing songs around "bitches" and "haters" is so far past done, it's not just unoriginal, it's positively yawn-inducing. It's pure irony that Lil Wayne spends half the video rolling his eyes so far back only the white parts are left -- that's pretty much what we were doing, too. And who are the bitches that love these three, anyway? Can you imagine spending a night with one of these clowns? It would be forehead-slappingly aggravating.

In short, "Bitches Love Me" is the sound of cliches pouring out of numbskulls. We can only hope that 13-year-old boys across the nation don't consider this nonsense aspirational.

-- @Raemondjjjj

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