Destiny's Child Return -- And Wander Straight Into a Boring Wine Bar
At the end of last week, when we found out that new Destiny's Child material was coming our way, we literally did a happy dance. Would this new single be an I-am-woman-hear-me-roar triumph, like "Survivor"? Would it be an iconic dance party classic, like "Bootylicious"? Or would it be a sassy modern-lady talk-to-the-hand moment, like "Bills, Bills, Bills"? We were salivating at the mere prospect of it.
Then we heard "Nuclear" and promptly slumped into a disappointed, full-body shrug.
Far from being a glorious return, this thing might as well be a four-minute-long yawn -- and a yawn from the '90s at that. "Nuclear" sounds like an outtake from a sad episode of Sex and the City where Carrie does even more pondering than usual. It's neither here nor there; not fast, nor slow. It's just... there. Background music for a wine bar frequented by grey suits after a long day at the office. Boring.
"Nuclear" is the only new song on an upcoming compilation of romantic songs that were recorded by the trio between 1997 and 2004. Far from reminding us of the legendary dynamism of Destiny's Child, this track merely sounds like an afterthought -- thrown together and chucked onto the end of an album of old stuff. Frankly, as the most talented woman in pop music today, we can't believe Beyonce would even agree to have her name on this thing.