John Travolta and Olivia Newton John Make the Bleakest Christmas Music Video Ever

Welcome, ladies and gents, to the most awkward, thrown-together video we've seen since Phil Collins and Phil Bailey pretended to be best friends in the 1984 clip for "Easy Lover." You may have already heard that John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John recently saw fit to record a Christmas album together. Is it for money? Is it for nostalgia? Is it to convince everyone that, indeed, the apocalypse is coming? Who can say! The only thing we can confirm with any certainty is that "I Think You Might Like It" is the worst new song of the week -- and also the funniest video. Ready yourselves -- this one's a doozy.



Now, before anything happens, the screen helpfully informs us that this video was produced by JTP Films. Judging from the initials, we're going to assume, this is John Travolta's own production company. Judging by what follows, we're going to assume that this company usually produces corporate training videos and -- on really fancy occasions -- late-night infomercials. Because far from making us feel all warm and fuzzy about the holiday season, the clip accompanying "I Think You Might Like It" is stark, bleak, clearly assembled at the last minute and based mostly around a grim waiting room, some random strangers, and some tarmac. Woo-hoo! Does anyone else feel festive right now? We sure don't!

JT and ONJ kick things off by helpfully letting us know that this track has a bit of a country flavor. They do this via the medium of oddball, outdoor side-stepping. Travolta then lands his private plane, chuckling and singing like a madman (with the aid of auto-tune, which helps nothing). And once he reaches the "Ta-nye-aye-ight" bit, the full horror of this song begins to loom large over all of us, like a Mayan end-of-world prophesy.

Then Newton-John joins in, pulling up in a drop-top nostalgia-mobile full of empty boxes wrapped as gifts. She also does a "Ta-nye-aye-aye-ight" and we decide, only 48 seconds in, that this thing might just have the power to drive us to suicide.


After an awkward run-hug-dance situation at the airport, our heroes drive off together in Olivia's drop top, singing as they go. This seems kind of inappropriate, because back in the grim waiting room, Travolta's kids are sitting around with presents, waiting for their mom and baby brother to arrive. So... Who takes care of these kids exactly? Their mom acts like she hasn't seen them in months, and their dad has just swanned off with that "Let's Get Physical" lady.

Then there's a pile of people we don't recognize, who all hug as well. Are we supposed to know who they are too? Or is this just an opportunity to put some old, lovey-dovey people in the video to tug at our heart strings? Probably the latter, since a couple of soldiers arrive directly afterwards. One of them doesn't have a family, so he hugs a security guard. WOW.

Then everyone line dances, but not at the same time. Travolta's still-abandoned-in-the-waiting-room kids have a go, then the soldiers, then JT and ONJ, then the old people, then Travolta's wife and baby, then the soldier and security guard -- who, by the way, we fully believe to be an actual soldier and an actual security guard. They certainly weren't chosen for their dancing or acting abilities.

Then, just as our brains are about to implode, trying to absorb the cheap and tacky nature of it all, John and Olivia ride off into the sunset (well, around the corner would be more accurate), waving over their shoulders like it's still the end of Grease and they still have careers to look forward to. But, before you can breathe a sigh of relief that this monstrosity is over, it happens: the song's finished, but that stupid chorus is still running around your mind like an overexcited child on Christmas morning.

Absolute nightmare. This year, approach any holiday scenario involving grandparents with a great deal of caution, everybody -- the old folks are gonna love this shit. Oh, and by the way? That song you just listened to and (in all likelihood) despise? That sucker's going to be in your head for the next two hours. You're welcome.

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