How to Go See Kiss and Motley Crüe Tomorrow Without Feeling Shame

That's right, folks. Tonight, Wednesday, Aug. 15, 2012, Mountain View's Shoreline Amphitheatre. Tomorrow, Thursday, Aug. 16, 2012, the 107.7 the Bone Bash at Concord's Sleep Train Pavilion is playing host to absurdist rock royalty, Kiss, and its even sleazier counterparts, Motley Crüe. Obviously, it will be a spectacle for the ages. But how does one go and bear witness to this riot of ridiculousness without feeling pangs of shame? Here are some things to keep in mind.

You Are No Longer Financially Supporting Near-Death Experiences


The days when you knew buying a Motley Crüe concert ticket would go in some way to financially supporting their rampant, flagrant, and legendary drug and alcohol abuse are well and truly over. So don't feel bad about giving them money anymore. There are ex-wives and gaggles of rock offspring to feed. That means that buying a Motley Crüe ticket now is actually responsible! (Not that we can say the same thing about supporting Kiss. That probably just goes to plastic surgery or something.)
Kiss Still Have Make Up On


Think for a minute about what it was like in the '80s, when we had to look at the bare faces of Kiss all the time, and you'll instantly feel better about watching a bunch of super old, leathery dudes prancing around in face paint like it's 1979. The make up situation doesn't seem quite so unnecessary now, does it?

During Motley Crue, Focus On Mick Mars


If at any point during the Crue's set, you start questioning whether or not "Girls, Girls, Girls" or "She Goes Down" are a bit on the sexist side, distract yourself with the human marvel that is Mick Mars. Dude has been fighting a painful disease and spinal problems his entire life and that fucker is still performing. If he's on a stage in his condition, then everyone in the world should go support him, regardless of lyrical content.