Top 10 Songs No One Cares That You Know the Lyrics To

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You know who you are. You're that guy who starts bellowing in the middle of the bar while your friends pretend not to be with you. You're that girl who gets over-excited in the middle of Urban Outfitters and starts singing along to the song playing just loudly enough that everyone has to hear you, even though you're pretending to casually browse. You're the douche at the party who kills every conversation in the room by drawing all the attention towards yourself and your knowledge of the words of the song on the stereo. This list, oh proud lyric memorizers, is for you. Because all y'all learn the same songs as each other, and really, we don't care. Here are the 10 that bug us the most.

10. "Bohemian Rhapsody," Queen



Here's a freakin' newsflash, Freddy Mercury wannabes: every single person on Earth over the age of 20 knows all of the words to this song. It is one of the most memorable tracks ever recorded. This shit is ear osmosis. It's going into your brain whether you want it or not. So, dude waving your arms over your head and yelling along at the wedding party? No one cares. We know the words, too. So shut your cakehole.

9. "Gin and Juice," Snoop Dogg



This is the one most commonly known by white males who wear suits, work in offices, live in suburbs, and play golf on weekends. They learned the words to this when they were 16 years old because they'd never heard shit this crazy before. "Oh my god!" their adolescent brains marveled. "This guy smokes weed! And drinks! And has sex! With bitches! One day that's gonna be me." They never became Snoop Dogg. They never lived in the hood. They smoked weed a couple of times in college, but they didn't really like how lightheaded it made them. So now when this song comes on, they "rap" along with it in an attempt to give the impression that once upon a time, they were gangsta. They are fooling nobody. This just makes them look extra white.

8. "Wannabe," Spice Girls


 
This one most commonly comes out at bachelorette parties. The rendition -- we guarantee this -- will be a competition between two drunk women (both of whom think they resemble one of the Spice Girls physically) who sing desperately into one another's faces, just aching to get to Mel B's rap at the end so they can prove they know all of the words. They are totally unaware that a hearing-impaired four-year-old could memorize the words to this nursery rhyme in about 10 minutes. Forehead-slappingly dumb.

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Unicorn_lover_69
Unicorn_lover_69

I think people usually sing "Piano Man" with a drunken accent, which is commonly heard as an Irish accent, which could also I suppose be dubbed a "Billy Joel accent."

Michael Casper
Michael Casper

No Journey!?!? "Don't Stop Believing" is the epitome of an enjoyable arena rock anthem turned cringeworthy drunken frat spittle. Otherwise....not a bad list.

Unicorn_lover_69
Unicorn_lover_69

I agree, Michael. I would have bet money that "Don't Stop Believing" would be #1. I have watched Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" ride what can only be described as a bizarre and douchey rollercoaster from a funny, kinda ironic song everyone sings when they are drunk, into a hackneyed leitmotif for a generation that doesn't know Steve Perry can't even sing anymore because he did so much blow he burnt a hole in his larynx. 

Sally567657
Sally567657

  Are you single?Do you want to make friends?Or do you want to find true love? you answer must be yes!please pay attention to---- [TallLoving.c./0/m]

courtkneecg
courtkneecg

You forgot "Wanna Be A Baller" by Lil' Troy. 

Ben Walsh
Ben Walsh

You know, people who know all the words to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls are not a universal scourge. Other people don't, in fact, encounter this problem on a regular basis. It is just you. This is reminiscent of the old Bill Cosby bit on SNL: 

"Every neighbor that has a kid who always wore a purple shirt used to run real fast and pick his neighbor. You know him, don't you?"

Alan Scherstuhl
Alan Scherstuhl

BUT WHAT ABOUT "BUST A MOVE"?

I mean, seriously.

Rae Alexandra
Rae Alexandra

Ian suggested "Bust A Move"... I take full responsibility for that not being in there. I weighed it against the Spice Girls and the Spice Girls won... 

Rayann Castro
Rayann Castro

I would like to nominate "The Thong Song" as an honorable mention, please lol

Rae Alexandra
Rae Alexandra

Oh god, you are TOTALLY right. "Thong Song" is definitely a problem in this regard... 

Guest
Guest

I once had Billy the Mountain (one side of an LP) by Frank Zappa completely memorized... 

Sivart13
Sivart13

I liked this article and am not a dick on the internet.

Shua Gagel
Shua Gagel

Top 10 blogs that prove you're a worthless hipster-wannabe-edgy-writer that has nothing better to do but criticize others' enjoyment in an assumption that the world sees things the same way your jaded bitter self does:

10. This one.

that's all.

lemmycaution
lemmycaution

We know who not to invite to karaoke night.

Ian S. Port
Ian S. Port

Karaoke is a safe zone. (Except with regard to "One Week," which is not safe for anywhere.)

Raealexandra
Raealexandra

Look I use profanity. Aren't I an edgy writer? And I do such a good job at mocking everyone. Man I'm so cool.

Alan Scherstuhl
Alan Scherstuhl

Rae, you've lost your ability to use commas correctly! And in this comment you're suddenly writing like a kinda dumb person's idea of you! Are you okay?

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