This week, the world oohed and aahed as news of the birth
of Beyonce and Jay-Z's baby girl emerged (we bet Ms. Knowles managed to look radiant even during that heinous labor process). Then stories started emerging that the couple were calling their new offspring Blue Ivy. Hmpf. Blue and Ivy on their own seem like perfectly lovely names to us, but in combination, it's a little bit... comic-book supervillain. Don't you think? But B and J aren't the first musical couple to give their kid a silly name. Here are six other weird ones that we actually do
6. Pirate Houseman, son of Korn's Jonathan Davis
Fact: when your name is Pirate, you are the coolest kid in your class at school (even when your dad is a giant nerd -- sorry, Jonathan Davis), and the baddest guy at the bar when you grow up. We also particularly like that, clearly sensitive to the fact that his child does not actually live on a ship and/or commit crimes (yet), good ol' Jon had the good sense to give the kid "Houseman" as a middle name to add a nice suburban element. Good work, Davis. It makes zero sense, but we like it.
5. Jakob Danger, son of Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong
Danger is his middle name. Literally. And that line will get him so many girls throughout the rest of his life, Billie Joe and wife Adrienne deserve a medal for awesome parenting.
4. Zuma Nesta Rock, son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale
Zuma Nesta Rock sounds like an extinct dinosaur bird. Which is either monumentally stupid or incredibly super-rad. We're inclined to think it's both.
3. Moon Unit, daughter of Frank Zappa
People have declared disbelief over this one a lot over the years, but we kind of like it. How many times has someone had difficulty remembering your name? Everyone on Earth has had that happen to them at some point... except Moon Unit Zappa. No one forgets a Moon Unit. Also, she got off really lightly -- her sister is called Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. You wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy, would you? And yet, how do you feel bad for a Diva? Moon Unit is definitely the way forward.2. Sparrow James Midnight, son of Good Charlotte's Joel Madden
"Sparrow" makes this kid sound like a street-wise but chirpy Cockney from the east end of London. "Midnight" makes him sound like a mysterious and alluring gentleman. And James? James gives him a back-up if he wants a normal name when he gets older (Zowie Bowie carries a lesson for all of us... just ask "Duncan Jones"). Joel and wife Nicole Richie covered all bases here. Well done, cuties.
1. Bronx Mowgli, son of Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson
If your son's middle name is going to be taken from a cartoon character (Wentz and Simpson apparently bonded over Jungle Book
when they first met), then he damn well better have a tough first name to go with it. Bronx is pretty effin' solid (and also, helpfully, the name of one of our favorite hardcore band
s, which makes us like it even more). Bronx Mowgli might be the cutest baby name ever, but it'll work just fine as an adult one, too. Who knew these two annoyances could come up with such a great name? Wonders will never cease. ----
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