The Steve Jobs Action Figure Is a Creepy, Plasticky Abomination

Categories: Tech

Bow to your master, Apple fanboy.

He made your computer, your phone, your TV entertainment system, your music player, and he created the store where you buy most of your music. But just in case you think your screen-circumscribed life isn't already a total shrine to Steve Jobs, the most arrogant technologist of our age, now there's an action figure in his image to get your jollies with. And it's so creepy that only you, the most pathetic Apple fanboy alive, could possibly not hate it.


Naturally, the 12-inch Steve Jobs icon comes with a (fake) iPad, a couple of apples, and a bunch of other props that will give unmentionable pleasures to Macworld attendees and Apple Insider readers like yourself. Semi-reasonable humans will of course be turned off by its ridiculous $99 price tag (it goes on sale next month), if they aren't already shuddering at its appearance. Because please -- this sick totem is a wholly misguided venture into the uncanny valley of human likeness. It's creepier than a horny stepdad at a middle school dance.

You, Apple freak, prone as you are to nerdery and Jobs worship, might think it's okay. You might think it's somewhat tasteful. You might even think it's cool. But even if you don't absolutely want to puke every time you look at this Steve Jobs doll, you have to agree that its creation and sale -- less than three full months after Jobs death -- can and should be answered with a single phrase:

Too fucking soon.

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What makes it creepy? Because it is so life-like you can't appreciate the work of a really skillful crafter? So, when a famous dies and books, CDs and DVDs with unknown concerts come around, they are not creepy or disrespectful? Everybody tries to make money out of this bizzarre show-biz "world" (even Jobs did it) why on earth then should you be the one who holds the truth? Let any other mac-fans decide whether it's too early or not, or whether it's shit or not.

back off hater.


Lol, surprise surprise, the creepy fanboy gets butthurt.

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