Naturally, There's Now a Funny Song About the Telegraph Hill Burglar


It was certainly one of the weirdest local news stories of this week: Around 5:30 p.m. on Tuesday, a man was seen purloining a ring from an apartment atop Telegraph Hill. The apartment manager chased the burglar, but he hopped over a fence, only to find himself perched in thick brush atop a 200-foot cliff. What followed was hilarious and strange: An extended standoff in which the man hung out in the brush on the top of the hill for more than 24 hours. The police -- and plenty of media -- came and watched, but authorities ultimately decided it would be too risky to send an officer to bring the man down. (Instead, they shined a light on him and asked if he needed anything. He just told them to go away.)

By around 7 p.m. on Wednesday, the police were over the standoff, and left. That gave the burglar just what he needed -- a chance to take off! So take off he did, sliding on his ass down the cliff and scurrying away around 10 p.m. He's now a fugitive.

Obviously, comical stalemates like this don't happen often, even in a city as wacky as San Francisco. So the folks over at the Bay Citizen's culture desk decided to do something funny, and commission a song about it. They found local musicians Taylor Brown and Brian Bergeron, who wrote and performed "The Ballad of the Burglar of Telegraph Hill." The song harkens back to an era when folk singers regularly wrote about notable events. It's pretty funny. And the video even features costume changes. Watch them perform the song -- and check out the lyrics -- after the jump.

The Ballad of the Burglar of Telegraph Hill

Way up on the cliffs of Telegraph Hill
Perched a young man with plenty of time to kill
He may have been seen stealing the ring
From a nearby apartment building

The cops thought for sure we've got him good
No need to climb up there into the woods
Shined the lights up on the trees saying 'can burglar please'
'let us know if there's anything that you need

Well he said 'Turns those lights off I'm trying to sleep"
And anyways you ain't got nothing on me
Well the cops have had enough so they packed up their stuff and let the man on Telegraph Hill be

He came down down down down the Telegraph Hill
The neighborhood had nothing better to do watched him slide
down down down down Telegraph Hill

[The Bay Citizen]

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Not so funny to the people who got burglarized, I bet.

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