Five Ways That Newly-Engaged Steven Tyler Is Kinda Creepy

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Being Weird With Teenage Girls on American Idol



Okay, we'll admit it: the what-the-hell-is-he-going-to-do-next quality that Steven brings to American Idol has made the show infinitely more entertaining. But sometimes, the way he examines the younger female contestants on the show is downright disquieting -- especially when he does it two seconds after they've announched they're 15 years old. Newsflash, Steven: we know you think you're being cute and sexy and flirtatious, but when you're old enough to be their grandpa, you should probably reel it in a bit. Especially if the girl is under 18.

Looking Like Janice Dickinson
janice dickinson.jpg

Granted, this is definitely more Janice Dickinson's fault than Tyler's, but the unfortunate reality is that Steven closely resembles a psychotic ex-model and reality-show-regular who's had too much plastic surgery. And that can't help but be a little off-putting for the world. Like we said, we know it's not Steven's fault, but maybe a new hairdo could help him. Or perhaps a polite letter to Janice requesting she get off  the collagen? Either way, something's gotta give here.

He's a Cabbage Patch Doll. No, Really.
CPD.jpg
Last year, a Cabbage Patch Doll made in Steven Tyler's image was put on eBay to raise money for the Children's Action Network. While we whole-heartedly applaud any attempt to raise money for a good cause, Steven will now forever be in the same category in our minds as that creepy clown doll from Poltergeist. Sorry Steven, you brought this on yourself. We hope whoever has possession of that thing keeps it locked in a closet.

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5 comments
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David Parker
David Parker

Yeah, I didn't even notice the speedo. Those man boobs are the disturbing thing. And I thought you were going to say it was creepy that his fiance looks like HIM.

Dalesajm
Dalesajm

You are f'n blind.  Erin Brady doesn't look at all like Liv Tyler.  Liv is pretty.  Erin is just a trashy looking bitch!

URcitizen
URcitizen

age makes people uncomfortable, but not Steven! 

singwell
singwell

you didn't mention the man boobs....eeewwwwww. come on steve, you can afford a bit of lipo. But the rest....yeah....spot on.

Maxwell Kinney
Maxwell Kinney

How about an article on 5 Ways Journalists Can Better Spend Their Time Than Stalking Middle Aged Men Around Taking Pictures of Them Swimming?

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