President Barack Obama Likes Arcade Fire and the Black Eyed Peas. Yes, Really.

Categories: Oh, Really?
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Yesterday, we found out from a British music news website that, like Santa Claus, Barack Obama keeps a "Nice" list -- or rather a list of people he wants to have supporting him in his re-election campaign. We've seen the list, and alongside all of the alphabetized politicians, business and sports people, and actors, there is a frankly startling array of musicians, including -- yes -- Arcade Fire, The Roots, and -- we could barely believe our eyes -- Vampire bloody Weekend.

Images are immediately conjured of the Obamas sitting down to dinner with the gentle moan of Arcade Fire's "Black Mirror" crooning away in the background... And then that glorious image is immediately shattered when you scroll down to see Eric Robertson & The Boston Boys. If the "Job Title" column didn't specify "band" next to that one, we would be forced to assume they were a pub landlord and a gang. At least they got a job title, though -- the job title of Bobby Ray Simmons is listed merely as "B.O.B." (we're pretty sure that's just saying his name twice in a different way, not an actual profession).

On and on the list goes, confusing us at every turn. Are the Obamas cool or not? Do they have good taste in music or not? It's genuinely hard to tell -- for every Jay-Z, there's a Jason Mraz. For every Alicia Keys, there's a Jack Johnson. And, oh yes, look who's over here! Only Chris Cornell! Chris Cornell: the dude who made a name for himself running around like a wildman, screaming at the top of his lungs, hair blowing in the wind, practically perma-shirtless. Do the Obamas know about Soundgarden and all of the half-naked abandon of it all? It makes us wonder.

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And then there are some surprises. Lady Gaga -- who's practically got a room at the White House -- doesn't make the list, yet all three of The Jonas Brothers do. And the trio is, bafflingly, listed separately from one another, rather than as a band. What's that about? We don't see Counting Crows listed as individuals, Mr. President. Or Lady Antebellum. What's so special about the bastard Jonas Brothers that they get to be listed as individual humans? (Aside from anything else, it's terribly ironic, given that the Jonas Brothers are clearly a single entity with a single perspective. If we found out they shared a brain, we wouldn't be the least bit surprised.)

Will.i.am and Fergie from Black Eyed Peas also made the list as individuals. That actually makes some sense though -- clearly, even Barack Obama doesn't want to acknowledge the existence of those other two doofuses Fergie and Will share a band with. We're sure Barack certainly doesn't want to share air with them at any point in future.

Neither, then, should he be any more comfortable with a bunch of other people who made the list. There's ol' nasal noggin herself, Gwen Stefani. There's some girl from Glee (we don't know who Lea Michele is, but if she's on that show, she's bound to be annoying). There's -- goddammit, Barack, you just had to push this button didn't you? -- motherpoopin' Train. And not even the knowledge that Jewel's actual last name is Kilcher can make up for her presence here.

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Thank the lord then, that Janelle Monae is on the list. She's a little ray of hope in a confusing landscape. We would give anything to see her James Brown-dancing her way up to the White House in a little black and white suit and pompadour. We can only hope, now the list has been leaked, that we get to see that before the year is out.

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8 comments
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Lex Pistol
Lex Pistol

Damnit Rae, I love your commenters. Why are people so sensitive about Gwen Stefani? And no rabid Jewel or Train fans out there?

ZungHoo
ZungHoo

Dude, are you kidding me? Nothing beats a bowl of black eyed peas!

www.Total-Privacy dot US

Kathyjenks
Kathyjenks

Her fashion line L.A.M.B do you mean? I was at New York Fashion week at the Mercedes Benz line-up and L.A.M.B was headlining, it was so crammed, I couldn't even get in, Nicki Minaj was 3 rows from the back, 'normals' could hardly get in it was that full! 

Sandradoodoo
Sandradoodoo

Didn't Gwen Stefani perform with her band No Doubt for the PRESIDENT and SIR PAUL MCARTNEY? Only last year? Yes, she did!

Tommy
Tommy

 I totally agree with 'Guest', Gwen Stefani is still a very well publicized and known women, she's still hounded by the press: Maybe not your taste but you don't have to act like she's some nobody? Twat. 

Guest
Guest

You are a CUNT! HOW DARE YOU PUT GWEN STEFANI DOWN AT THE BOTTOM LIKE SOME NOBODY! SHE'S BEEN IN A FILM WITH FUCKING LEONARDO DI CAPRIO, HER BAND NO DOUBT ARE SOON RELEASING THEIR NEW ALBUM  AND THEY HAD  'DON'T SPEAK' AT NUMBER 1 FOR 10 FUCKING WEEKS! WENT NUMBER ONE ALL OVER THE WORLD! GWEN HAS BEEN SO SUCCESSFUL WITH HER SOLO CAREER AND SHE HAS HER BLOODY FASHION LINE WHICH IS BIGGER THAN ANY OTHER CELEBRITY FASHION LINE! SO FUCK YOU! 

Sivart13
Sivart13

God this site attracts the weirdest commenters. Is Gwen Stefani on your Google Alerts?

Guest
Guest

Maybe this *is* Gwen Stefani...

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