Michael Jackson's Hair Gets Turned into a Roulette Ball (We're Not Kidding)

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Yesterday, we had to walk away from our desks and go and sit in a darkened room for an hour to mourn the fact that exploitative, sick-fuck-dom just got taken to a whole new level by three separate groups of people, operating together as a sort of bloated super-leech. Prepare to wrinkle up your face in disgust as we tell you that a website called Online Gambling Pal recently purchased some of Michael Jackson's hair (for $10,871) and is -- in a move that even Elvis' jumpsuit designer would probably call tacky -- turning it into a roulette ball.

According to the website, "The sample of hair was collected at New York's Carlyle Hotel, where Jackson had been staying while attending a charity event." Collected? What does that mean? Fished out of a drain after he'd left? Picked out of carpets and trash cans? Did they have a team of maids crawling around on their hands and knees frantically searching for strands of M.J.? Based on the photo of the hair sample, it seems pretty likely.

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The leeches that collected the hair then passed the hideous sample onto the leeches at Gotta Have Rock N Roll.com to auction off, who ultimately sold it to the leeches at Online Gambling Pal, who "decided to convert Michael Jackson's hair into a roulette ball -- an appropriately unique way to immortalize a small part of a truly peerless entertainer."

That might be the least appropriate use of the word "appropriate" we've ever seen. There is absolutely nothing appropriate about any of this lunacy.

Online Gambling Pal goes on: "The ball itself will be made to the highest professional standards, ensuring it will be eligible for use at any licensed casino's roulette table. Indeed, considering Jackson dedicated his life to entertaining millions, the prospect of this very special ball captivating crowds at roulette tables seems like a fitting use for it." Actually, gambling weirdos, the fitting thing to do with a ball of discarded hair is to -- pay attention, because this part may actually blow your sick little minds -- discard it. Flush it, trash it, get rid of it, it's gross.

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Finally, OGP finished up its hyperbole-filled report of events with: "We would therefore like to encourage any casino interested in using this unique ball at its tables to contact us. Together, we can ensure Michael Jackson continues to rock and 'ROLL' forever." Seriously, people? You had to capitalize the word "roll," there? In case we didn't get the pun?

What we'd really like to know, Online Gambling Pal, is how much you're going to charge casinos to borrow this travesty of an item? Are you going to send any of that twisted money to Michael's orphaned children? We sincerely doubt it. And what about you, casinos? Are you seriously going to encourage Jackson's mourning fans to gamble away their hard-earned dollars with the promise that it will get them closer to their hero? Have you literally no shame?

This whole incident just serves to emphasize how far people are willing to go to make a buck, and how exploitation of both celebrities and fans is, seemingly, at an all time high. We can only hope that this isn't something Michael Jackson's fans will buy into, since it's obvious that everyone involved in this chain of events couldn't care less about Michael Jackson or his legacy, but rather only how much cash they can potentially make off the back of his name and premature passing. We sincerely hope none of them make a cent.

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6 comments
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Linda Gonzales
Linda Gonzales

your right ,still i think he should have left his looks alone,he was very handsome,with a great smile.

dent harwell
dent harwell

And we care about this why? I couldn't care less what body parts of MJ they use for what. If they can make a buck off of the guys body parts then good for them. MJ was a creep and few people care about him other than a small circle of friends. Why does this surprise or bother you? What about the person/persons who took his prosthetic nose piece? I'll bet that thing went for a lot more than his hair. I am so sick of hearing about poor Michael Jackson, he got what he deserved and being a rather smart man I doubt he had any misconceptions on how his life was going to end. Sad, maybe, but reality non the less.

Buckwheat
Buckwheat

That is SO wrong. I don't think Mike would like that or approve of it. I think it's so distasteful for anyone to do that to the  deceased without permission  from the next kin. The man is dead. Leave him alone already!

Dr Louis Von Hayek
Dr Louis Von Hayek

why do you care?  this is like the old saying of "One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure"if someone wants to pay for it why do you care, really?  with everything else going on in the world you decide this is news?  so some of his old hair is used for entertainment, I just don;t see how that is disrespectful.  if anything it keeps his memory alive and his CD's selling (for his kids).  now if they were trying to get DNA out of it or something like that I would see the issue, but this is jsut a joke all around and by writing about it you just add to it. 

Mrscherelle29
Mrscherelle29

Why won't they let him r.i.p? MJ has been disrespected every since his death. Just LEAVE HIM ALONE.. All you vultures need to stop. His family loves& misses him. They too deserve respect in reguards to MJ.

Marin 58
Marin 58

Yeh, what SHE said.  Embodies it all, thank you.  Michael Jackson always deserved much more respect than this horrible thing, that's for sure.

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