Why You Should Never, Ever Write Anything Negative About Phish

• you are entitled to your opiion on phish,personally i dont like them, cant see what all the fuss is about ,i have a copy of round room and it is by and large a dull album ,so i you tubed them ,still can t see what all the fuss is about,there are far more superior jam bands ,check out string cheese incident ,widespread panic ,derek trucks ,and bands making far more interesting music ,i agree with the writer check out the bands on the other stages you might find something interesting ,and get this guys and gals i dont like phish ,

• ...and I'M offended at the slam at my so-called 'fragile summer fling'!  Jeez you just hate everybody huh?   ;)  

• Love the article. I am an avid phish fan and I completely agree. I know I am a bit late on this, but there it is. Phish fans completely take the band.. and themselves... too seriously. I have been 40 plus shows in multiple states and every time is the same. There is always one or two or twenty fans that just completely ruin it for others by speaking the incoherent scene talk and whatnot. It would appear that you did not slam them but razzed on them bit and this is what happens. I would bet money that the boys know their fans are a bit over board and obsessive. Don't listen to the haters. You are a fine writer. Phish fans know phish fans suck. Believe me, it is common to discuss this at shows and beyond. 

• Best band in the world....hands down Most incredible live concert experience in the universe.... just try it...you'll like(love) it

• LOL U HIPPIES R ALL SOO MADDDD

• Truth be told, I am not going to Outside Lands this year because Phish is playing.  I respect them as musicians, but I don't care for their music.  And I know they have a gigantic and rabid fanbase (as proven herein).  Spending that much money on tickets and then trying to avoid a four hour headliner and their fans did not sound like a good time/investment to me.  That said, I hope you all enjoy the show of the music you like, and please remember to pick up after yourselves!

• I'll be honest. I love Phish - shit, I just got layed off and the first thing that came to mind was, "I'm going to the Tahoe shows - hell yes!" ...But Phans do need to chill out and grow up in some ways. This guy has every right to write whatever the hell he wants to about the band. Attacking him personally - if that is in fact what happened - is lame and flies in the face of what the band is all about, namely, having fun and getting along with people. Whatever happened to Freedom of Thought and Speech? The fact that he even felt the need to write what he did is a backhanded compliment to the band actually. In my opinion, *SOME* Phans need to be a little more open minded and secure about their identity in a world where Phish is but one circle in the Venn Diagram. Plus...we're taking over Outside Lands Friday...who really cares what this dude thinks. Double Plus, he's right in that there are other great bands playing during their set. I feel awful about missing Big Audio Dynamite, but what must be, must be. Here's to a happy Festival for all those attending Outside Lands! P.S. "Carini had a lumpy head."

• LOL does this really matter? This guy can write about whatever he wants, its called 'freedom of the press'. I love Phish but I love my first amendment rights more. Give it a break brahhhhs

• Phish had the most devoted following of any band i know.  If your gonna go out of your way to talk shit you better be ready for a few reponses.

• you should see how critical phish fans are about the band itself, this pales in comparison. also, i think this moronic behaviour, as you call it, is trulu not a reflection of the band. but yeah, we fans tend to be a bit (a lot) obsessive over the band, but the great majority are truly loving, peaceful and open people (and this is very obvious at the shows)

• Phish have a cult following, for better and worse. The "worse" is what you see here. Lots of young, insecure folks going online to boost their credibility or self-esteem or whatever.

• Phish is fun. Phish fans are generally insufferable. Go figure.

• Trey befriended him, sat in with his band on SNL and the guy has sold about a zillion albums.  Rick Rubin produced his last album.  Fans don't always reflect their favorite artists' opinions.

• so why can't we agree to disagree that you are a tool? it's like, my opinion man.

• I've never listened to Phish before, and therefore I have nothing against the band. But the idiocy of their fans is enough to make me stay away, particularly after wading through all this crap. They're like Tool fans, only slightly worse because at least Tool fans are too strung out to really fight back when you mention that you aren't a fan. The insanity of all this is that it reflects poorly on the band. I'm sure any musicians that have been playing together for approx. 26 years (as per a Wikipedia article) are used to differing opinions about their music, and one sarcastic, humourous jibe about the length of their set on the mighty intarwebz won't let them lose too much sleep. And yet, every time I read an overly defensive comment or tweet about this, it just makes me think, "man, what are these guys doing, musicially and creatively, to make their fans are so moronic?".

• "Fucking tool" is a Phish reference/inside joke. That's why you were called one.

• looks like this will be another article that will draw thousands of hits to this website. congrats blogger. phish people really need to lighten up..esp considering their favorite band is a nostalgia act

• I am a phish fan. I saw my first show in '95. I thougt your paragraph was funny, and the followup article was great. Make no mistake, you need to have a thick skin if you are going to take any kind of jab at the band we love. There are a lot of poseur fans that just don't get it, and love to run their mouths. That said, any real phish fan knows that phish is not for the masses...and is damn glad of it! Especially us older fans who broke into the jamband scene with the Grateful Dead, and remember what happened when Touch of Grey became a hit!!

• brilliant worded, Carl. 

• The only thing worse than Phish is their fans.

• That festival wouldn't even be happening in San Fran if it wasn't for "jambands"

• @twitter-218422210:disqus "You're gripped by an evangelical fervor: a conviction that Phish is so great that anyone who doesn't like Phish has not listened to Phish." Um, because it's true. Or they don't have developed, complex taste in music. Or both.

• KYS ya fuckin n00b. more room to dance

• Tool.

• Anyone getting mad at Ian might be better served going through the archives of this blog and realizing, since he's taken helm of SF Weekly's music coverage, he's endorsed the kind of intentionally ignorant and sloppy editorial that provokes reader reaction and, therefore, earns hits. No one frequents this site for its opinions, it's more due to a complete lack of any kind of daily local music coverage elsewhere. Take what you can get, I guess, but please don't take this guy or his staff seriously. 

• you didn't simply say "i don't care for phish", you tried to put them down.  no one cares if you don't like phish.  and lol at being excited for bands that wont be remembered 20 years from now, and you being excited for "singalongs"

• Ian, if you really want to experience an angry mob of tweets try criticizing LADY GAGA.  your computer may explode.

• I'm gonna go ahead and MT this

• sweet melt

• I love phish (have seen them over 80 times), but all you people need to relax.  He has a different opinion than you.  Much like all the mocking of the Disco Biscuits on PT's Phish boards .

• wsp sux

• Actually, three hours of Phish is not enough.  I prefer 12 hours of Phish over a three day festival. No need for other bands.

• Listening to a band should not be "homework." Seriously, though, why do you Phish people assume Ian has never listened to the band? You're gripped by an evangelical fervor: a conviction that Phish is so great that anyone who doesn't like Phish has not listened to Phish. 

• Cheers Chap! You clearly mock what you don't understand and you did it in such a poor fashion that calling your self a journalist is laughable at best. Phish would chew you up and spit you out and eat you for breakfast again. I don't make fun of you for listening to canned garbage in tight jeans with your hair lip, so don't make fun of us for listening to a real band make real music that is actually alive and breathes and shifts shape and inspires. you sir are a jack ass. "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it" - Roald Dahl

• I think the main point of contention is that people who casually toss off a slam at Phish, saying something about hippies or noodling, are demonstrating a complete lack of understanding about the music taking place and what kinds of things happen during live improvisation. I'm happy to have, and would much rather have, a conversation about MUSIC, but far too often opposition to Phish is expressed as derision for "hippies" and pointless "noodling". It's so far off subject: "hippies" exist in every genre for most successful bands in a rock context. As for "noodling", well, I'd wager Phish ends up being one of he more hard-rock shows of the festival. But that's a conversation about music, one most critics aren't capable of having(when it comes to Phish) because they don't know what they're talking about. So they fall back on tired conventions of derision and no one is taking that shit anymore, not because we're so sensitive, but because it's false, a misconception, a unfair, uninformed moment of what can only be likened to discrimination(althought much less serious and frankly absurd). 

• I'm a little late on this issue, but I do have one stylistic gripe with your abhorred blog post: I will never understand why some journalists feel the need to point out a word they are punning on -- it's a bit like laughing at your own joke.   Imagine if Shakespeare noted in his plays every time he used a pun. There would doubtless be something fishy in the state of Denmark if that was the case. 

• People take music seriously, whether it's Phish or Rihanna. Music houses very personal connections for people. Why else would you be writing an article about a music festival that is bursting at the seams with talent? Is it because you think people should take the music they listen to less seriously? You dug yourself a rhetorical hole here my friend. One that could have been avoided with a more thoughtful response. Anyhoo, I applaud you for making the joke in the first place, if indeed it was a joke. Nothing wrong with a little tongue and cheek humor, just recognize that when you make your thoughts public, the public will respond in kind (or not so kind).

• In terms of musical ability, Phish is as good as it gets.  If you don't appreciate musical ability, then you probably won't get Phish. 

• Your joke was cliche and not slanted enough to actual humor. So the opening to your article was a jab, slam, dig...use whatever adjective you may find useful here, but it was a negative comment, nonetheless. Where was the joke about Girl Talk clicking play on a laptop?...perhaps a joke about a 4 chord progression repeated ad nauseam for MGMTs would be in order? No "put me in coach" joke about John Fogerty? Pretty poor example of backpeddling, in my opinion. Your defense of your "joke" is inconsistent with the rest of your "article", thus the backlash. I also see you take the time to point out the hate, but not the intelligent, well thought out responses. I'm sure there were quite a bit of those. However, like Phish, the fans are just as easy to make fun of, aren't they? Perhaps it's just us being over-sensitive, right? It also may help you to know that the Phish online community is the most overly critical group I have ever seen. As a group, we can analyze and examine and question all the nuances of the band playing live. We have seen it all, and probably have already said it all about the band. When we see a blogger (make no mistake...this is not journalism) use a lazy tired joke, then we tend to call that out.

• Your talents don't lie in humor I guess.

• I don't think the Kid Rock example is helping anyone though.

• I think where you aren't getting it and why people got pissed off is because you dissed a band that people love deeply in a really shallow and petty way, on a blog that Phish fans read and now, instead of admitting that it was lame journalism, you are defending yourself and talking about how people take the band too seriously which makes you come off even more toolish.  

• You need to be happy Phish is playing the dumpy festival to start.  It wouldn't even exist without them.

• Well - instead of being glad you don't have to see them - perhaps you should go make the trek and see why people got so defensive..... you might be surprised and actually find something about it that will blow you away. I have a feeling this show is not going to be a snoozefest and I hope even more so that they don't play Halley's crashes and you get the real deal. :) There is definitely many valid reasons people take this band seriously. So here is your opportunity to do your "hw" and see what this big fuss is all about.

• Also the premise of this article suggests you are unfamiliar with the internet. You just went viral, buddy!

• Manning! You're getting me excited for NFL.

• Correction: you should never, ever write anything negative about Phish, unless you're actually a Phish fan yourself, and have been to 10^x shows but now it's "just not the same anymore" then you can rip on them for being lame old men. I am not a big fan of this myself, this seems to be a more widely accepted attitude though. The reason I find it weird that so many people "hate" Phish is because they do not have one singular sound. Most people who actually listens to them invariably find at least one song they like (plus I know 0 people who dislike the song Tweezer Reprise) though if you wish to write them off beforehand, that is certainly within your right. I'm sure I wouldn't hate Coldplay as much if I listened to all their albums, I just don't want to do that, so I kind of understand that attitude. Just saying that a lot of people hate Phish without really knowing what they sound like.

• It's Like black liquorice you either love it or hate it.

• You're favorite band sucks!

• Unprofessional.

• Hey,  Look at me, I'm one of those yuppy hipster guys who came to SF and ruined it.  Let me guess you live in Lower Haight or The Mission, GO HOME!

• It's sad that the only time people ever post comments on these are when some dipshit band's fan message board links to them or what ever. I read your internet blog posts too, Ian SPort. I do not like Phish either.

• what he said. same ol same ol, move along sir.

• the fact that you think MGMT is still a relevant act is laughable. either way, they are pretty terrible live and if you actually knew of anything you write about, you would at least know that.  i'm sure you're enjoying the stir these articles have created, but all they have done is discredit you as a reliable source of musical knowledge. most of your music interests are probably all ripped from pitchfork articles within the last 2 years....mix that with a few token artists from the 90's, and there you have it...Ian S. Ports musical opinion. i'm sure you'd be pretty hard pressed to name more than 5 songs on each of your "favorite artists" albums. at least the cover art is cool BRO.

• Aww, little buddy thinks he's DFW. Cute.

• more room for me to dance bruh

• "Really, that's what this was meant to be, before however many hundreds or thousands of Phish fans read our post on the Outside Lands schedule and demonstrated how awfully limited their grasp of humor (and abstract thought) can be." In an article where every other main point was devoid of humor, your claim is pretty hard to believe...especially if it's the first bullet point on your list. Man up and stop taking a tactic from the Sarah Palin playbook.  But hey, maybe you know humor better than Phish fans (ha!)

• oh holy fucking shit what are you kids doing? you think troy mark perry or don give a fuck about this guy's article and his innocent comment aimed at non-phans? no man. neither should you. and to the author all I can say is don't let the fucking nerds of phish misrepresent the rest of the fanbase.

• http://mlkshk.com/r/31BS

• Sounds like you got served and are still in shock over it.

• I'm a Phish-positive neutral but get a grip dudes.

• everyone from BB King to Jay-Z to Neil Young to Carlos Santana to Kid Rock has sat in on stage with Phish ... those people probably know just a little bit more about music than Ian

• But Roses are Free?

• phish always wins.....

• yeah this article is pointless and trying to explain why their writer isn't a hack, which i think they all might be

• Rather than become defensive, maybe just not give a rodent's rectum.

• OMG IAN!!!  All of our comments and tweets were just a joke too!  I can't believe you didn't see that!  What a limited grasp of humor and capacity for abstract thought YOU must have.    

• It's not just Phish fans, dude. You could have badmouthed any other band with a big following, and you would have gotten the same shitstorm- maybe even worse. And now you're just digging your hole even deeper and asking for more? Don't get all bitchy on your twitter about backlash when you slam-- and yes, you did slam- a band that has a following like this.  What amused me more was your comment, "We disagree, then we move on" ... so what is this article, exactly? 

• You've dignified them with more of a response than they deserve. Don't feed the trolls.

• You just don't get it, do you? You can not like Phish all you want. But to badmouth their fans and tell people not to see what they might think is a really amazing show - that's just disrepect. If you don't like them... just ignore them. No need for the negativity against them.

• Instead of manning up and just admitting you were wrong, you back track and say that your statements were a joke. How exactly was the reader to realize you were joking? If you were a comedy writer or your article was a piece in the Onion, then it is implied that your writing is tongue-in-cheek and therefore can be taken as such. Heck, even a ":)" would have sufficed. You are supposed to be a music writer. You started off, what is considered a 'legitimate music piece' by telling your readers how to avoid one of the headliners at one of the biggest festivals in your own town. You can't expect your readers to distinguish humor from a real opinion if comedy is not implied at the start. I would think that's writing 101.  You obviously tried to bash Phish and were called out on it. Just admit it and move on. You are obviously missing the point of this backlash. No one cares if you like Phish or not, you just sound misinformed and ignorant when you write stuff like that. I think any band with a hardcore fan base like Phish would have done the same exact thing. I don't think Metallica fans would have let that slide either. 

• Don't expect roses and unicorns from Phish fans when you start off your article with a jab like that.  You don't have to like Phish, I love Phish and most of my friends don't, it's cool.  But, have a little integrity and respect the biggest draw at this festival, don't just dismiss them because it's hip for indie kids to hate on jambands.

• You posting this is nearly as bad as the original 'joke' you made.  The truth is, many people write off jam bands without doing their homework.  As a journalist, it appears you've done the same. Twice.

TotalComments: 73