Anderson Cooper Calls Out Chris Brown; Ladies Everywhere Swoon

Categories: Freak Show, News
chris brown.jpg

So, remember that thing that happened at the 2009 Grammys? That thing where Chris Brown  and Rihanna both no-showed on account of the fact that he'd beaten the crap out of her? Then shortly afterwards, photos emerged online of a decidedly broken-looking Rihanna, sporting a swollen eye, a split lip and massive lumps on her forehead? It was a harrowing image and undoubtedly hard to forget...

...Or so you'd think. The truth of the matter is, a great deal of people seem to have erased the entire incident from their minds and somehow forgotten that Chris Brown did this, admitted to doing this, apologized weakly, then got off far too lightly in court. Apparently, enough time has passed and now all is forgiven because his fourth album is doing well, SNL welcomed him onto the show earlier this year (nothing funny about that, Lorne Michaels), and even little Justin Bieber recently recorded a duet with him (cute!).

But then on Monday, everyone's favorite news-loving silver fox, Anderson Cooper, put on his sarcastic hat and had this little (awesome) outburst:



This filled us with such great joy, we wanted to climb into the TV and kiss Cooper (even more than usual). Chris Brown is, indeed, a violent, idiotic douchebag who takes the opportunity to act like a spoiled child every time someone invites him on TV (which happens with baffling regularity). He behaves as if he was ultimately the real victim in the Rihanna beating because occasionally -- far too occasionally we have to say -- people, like, bring it up and stuff, which is, like, mean-spirited and, like, awkward.

Chris Brown's attitude stinks -- it stinks like a sewer rat soaked in fish guts and left out in the summer sun to marinate. So it was refreshing, by god, to have it finally pointed out by good ol' Anderson. Hell, Rihanna hasn't even had the good sense to call Brown out on anything -- we thought it was a dignified front at first, but between the "Love The Way You Lie" single with Eminem and the controversial video for "Man Down," it's starting to feel a little bit like she's using the incident to boost her record sales. All the while, staying friends with Brown on Twitter (brilliant example to set for your young, female fans Ri-Ri -- just brilliant).

cooper.jpg

So thanks, Mr Cooper. Thanks for sticking your nose in and making a whole heap of valid points. Thanks for reminding us that Brown doesn't deserve his privileged position and gigantic sense of self-entitlement. And thanks also for prompting Brown to hit Twitter to announce "I guess people need ratings!!! Lol!!! It's cool. Much love!", thereby demonstrating that he really does only have about three brain cells to rub together. We shall now DVR AC360 for all eternity.


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10 comments
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Diamond
Diamond

GET OFF OF CHRIS BROWN DICK LIKE 4 REAL AND FUCK RIRI WITH HER CRAZY AZZZ IF YOU REALLY LISTEN 2 THE WICH MUSIC SHE REALLY CRAZY AS HELL THATS THE REASON Y HER AND CHRIS GOT INTO WIT EACH OTHER BUT ANY FUCK HER AND STAY OFF MY BABY DICK THANKSSSSGO GET FAMEEEEEEEEE ITS THE SHIT EVERYONE MAKE BAD CHIOCES IN DAM IF GOD CAN FORGIVE HIM WE CAN TO IM STILL A RIDE OR DIE FAN FOR CHRIS BROWN

Misty Jean Moore
Misty Jean Moore

I still love Chris. I'll give Anderson a pass for this one. 

Rrtewe
Rrtewe

Rae, you're a dumba**. If Rihanna forgave him, then I don't see while it's any of your concern. It's their own personal business, get your own.

Christopher284
Christopher284

I don't think beating the daylights out of someone is a "mess-up" or a mistake, I've seen those pics, her entire face was pulverized and blooded-up.  Good for Anderson Cooper.  As illustrated by the video and the comments you received in response, it's a very bizarre and strange culture that we live in.  It's changed so much in just the last ten years.  I find myself able to relate to it less and less, so I tune out more and more these days. 

Chelsea
Chelsea

Someone's Jelouse I'd like to see you FUCK up and see How Many people your gunna need to forget put ya self in his shoes you selfish DIRT BAG Go grew a Pair maybe a heart while your At it You Low life Scum No1 Cares

#TEAM BREEZY.

Jay
Jay

Rae get over yourself ..give the dude a break he's messed up we all know that but how on earth is bashing every chance you get helping the situation..don't be an enemy of progress

PEARL
PEARL

Wow, Rae jealous much.

Rae Alexandra
Rae Alexandra

Jealous of the mentally-challenged abuser? Or the woman who got punched in the face? Oh, the options!

Jay
Jay

Rae get over yourself ..give the dude a break he's messed up we all know that but how on earth is bashing him every chance you get helping the situation..don't be an enemy of progressFlag

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