America Sucks: Six Great Songs Complaining About the USA

​So it's almost the Fourth of July -- a day when we are all obligated to find a barbecue, pretend it's sunny, get drunker than we probably should in the middle of the day, and complain about British people. As is the case with so many national holidays, this whole deal is a pain in the ass for the antisocial, the unpatriotic, and, most of all, the generally disgruntled among us. Oh, and the British. Fourth of July ain't really the best for the British. So for those of you not totally stoked on celebrating the U.S. of A. this Monday -- or who just want a little realism along with your patriotic rara -- here's a little playlist to remind you why America kind of sucks.

"I'm So Bored with the U.S.A.", the Clash

In all fairness, the Clash had plenty of terrible things to say about their own country as well, but holy jeez. If this song is anything to go by, America is awash with junkie soldiers, murderers, corrupt politicians, and cultural imperialists. Maybe they're just bitter because we kicked their redcoat-lovin' asses. But actually, there are some valid points here -- we should probably hang our heads in shame. Big sigh.

"Sleep Now in the Fire," Rage Against the Machine

No one can inspire feelings of annoyance and disappointment like Michael Moore. If you like him, then you're depressed because you know he's right about everything and the world is doomed. And if you hate him, he's a puffy omnipresent leftist annoyance. Either way, everyone's bummed right? Yay! So here he is, looking earnest alongside the perma-angry members of Rage Against the Machine, helping to shut down the New York Stock Exchange. If this song doesn't make you want to do something un-American, nothing ever will (*cough* -- pussy -- *cough*).

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I have been living around 3 years in America and I hate it.... people are ignorant, everybody wants to be "superior" to others, they live in lie and pretend to be smart and altruistic, they are brainwashed with bull shit everywhere and they think they are clever... America sucks asshole! 

Alan Scherstuhl
Alan Scherstuhl

Why is it that pro-America songs tend to suck, and anti-American songs tend to kick ass?

America Sucks
America Sucks

Because pro-America songs are typically written by rednecks who sing through their nose and are retarded enough to think that America is a decent country. Ergo, if the people writing them have no more brains than a goldfish it is pretty unlikely to be listenable. Conversely the people who write anti-American songs are perceptive enough to ignore the incessant flag-waving cultural brainwashing and assess this country objectively. The truth that anti-American artists see:

America sucks big time. Worst and most uncivilized country in the developed world. A good, decent country in which to live and in which to raise your children does not:1.have 25% of its children going to bed hungry at night.2.execute people.3.have a government that tries to tell grown men and women what they can and cannot ingest in the privacy of their own homes.4.have the worst educational system in the developed world.5.have the worst health care system in the developed world, the only one that makes grandmas choose between food and medicine.6.have the most crooked, unrepresentative government in the developed world in which one can pick whichever conservative puppet of the billionaires one wants but nobody who isn’t a conservative puppet of the billionaires.7.have a kangaroo court judicial system.8.have less than 7% unionization of its private sector workforce.9.have a minimum wage that is several dollars less than what would be considered a living wage even in the poorest states like Alabama and Mississippi; NOBODY can live on $7.25/hour anywhere in the U.S. Nobody.10.have several wars going on that are so transparently motivated by a desire for energy resource dominance that a 10-year-old with an atlas and an encyclopedia could put it all together in an afternoon.11.have third-world levels of income inequality.This. Country. Sucks.

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