Van Halen Reinforces Irrelevance by Playing New Album to Even More Irrelevant Bands

VanHalenParty.jpg
Van Halen -- Partying like it's 1983 (actually).

Apparently it's the mid-1980s again: Van Halen has finished recording its new album with David Lee Roth back on vocals for the first time since 1984's 1984, according to Metal Insider.

Two lucky souls, selected for their enormous contributions to the course of popular music, have been selected to preview the album before the rest of us morons. Who are they, and what are they saying?

Who: Mark Tremonti, guitarist from Creed and Alter Bridge.
What's the word? "It sounds like vintage Van Halen."

Who: Moran Rose, drummer from Sevendust.
What's the word?: "Fucking killer."

Good thing no one in a band that actually matters has heard the album -- that just wouldn't make sense. If the guitarist from Creed is excited, then we're excited. Better start saving up now because it's gonna be great!

[Metal Insider]

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Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown, follow Dean Schaffer @deans55, and like us at Facebook.com/SFAllShookDown.

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Vinnie
Vinnie

Fuck all of you Van Halen haters. It sucks that people judge them more so off-stage than on-stage. There are two eras in Guitar, pre-EVH and post-EVH. You can thank Van Halen for bringing on the 80's. I can't fucking wait to get my hands on this album, if you don't like it, don't buy the fucking album and quit your bashing.

Jimmy
Jimmy

Just read the rest of your articles and man, I gotta say...you're a total fucking moron. Stick to stuff you know (if indeed there is anything you are good at, writing certainly isn't it) and leave rock 'n roll to the people who can handle it.

Perhaps a career in the masturbatory arts, since you are a total fucking jack off...

ChristianWilliamson
ChristianWilliamson

people can choose to not like creed.  thats fine.  but mark is one HELL of a guitarist.  alter bridge is VERY badass and basically, thats creed with a different lead singer.  

sounds to me you just dont like rock n roll or hard rock.  thats fine.  youre probably one of those big eyeglass with no lense wearing, huge ear pierced hipsters that think everything should be indie rock.

finally, morgan rose is a beast on drums.  sevendust is the only hard rock band that kept it going since they hit in the 90's.  they never sold out, stuck to what they dug, and have a pretty big following because of it.

youre writing about music why?  whats your musical accomplishments?

ChristianWilliamson
ChristianWilliamson

i just read your other articles.

you actually ARE a hipster LOL

have fun at that deathcab for cutie show!!  LMFAO

Scarey
Scarey

I agree with the author: Creed sucks. Basically a hard rock version of The Backstreet Boys.

JAG
JAG

If they're so irrelevant, why are you writing about them?

Surfsno2008
Surfsno2008

Be it the world of Sam or Dave these guys are living gods. The American Led Zep. And to say Aerosmith is not a sellout and Sammy is even further makes you like a complete tool in the eyes of most fans. fail.

Jpn7373
Jpn7373

Slash listened to the album, and stated it sounded great. I guess he's irrelevant as well. Post a list of musicians who think are relevant, not that VH would actually give two s**ts.

DeanSchafferDoesntKnowMusic
DeanSchafferDoesntKnowMusic

What jacka$$ comment Dean. You are clearly out of touch with Van Halen has contributed to music. Their last tour sold out everywhere after over 20 years of not having played with DLR. By far not just any band can do this. And by the way, every guitar player you have listened to since 1978 can credit somethng they play to Eddie Van Halen. What's your contribution to this world going to be beyond shallow articles like this. Cheers Dean!

scott b
scott b

I bet you are one of those critics that DLR mused about back in the '80s that hated VH because they liked Elvis Costello. GET A LIFE LOSER!!!!!!

Brendan Fontaine
Brendan Fontaine

You are a pathetic journalist. Creed/Alter Bridge & Sevendust irrelevant?! You should be flipping burgers.

Rich2004
Rich2004

Your pathetic attempt at witty sarcasm has failed.  Have you forgotten the contributions of this legendary band to the metal we all love.  Have you forgotten who still reigns as the #1 guitarist in the world with the possible exception of the two Jimmys.  Give their new music a chance and don't make stupid assumptions.  Your prig holier than thou attitude sucks.  May the wrath of the new CD have its vengeance at #1

Informant
Informant

How did you get this gig? You have no experience! Never heard of you? Your stupid!

Informant
Informant

Hey Dean, who should hear it? Jack White? Lady Gaga? Snoop?  What is the number of records sold needed to qualify for contibution. I think 30 million qualifies Tremonti.

Surfsno2008
Surfsno2008

your lack of respect for the mighty Van Halen is disgusting. you are a huge poseur.

Greg
Greg

thanks for the update Dean. Now you can go back to crying while listening to Fleet Foxes "Life Changing" music. I wish you still had your job at Tower Records, so only 10 or so people were subjected to your "Music Criticism".

Cully Hamner
Cully Hamner

"Irrelevant," eh?  Well, here's the thing:  I didn't find this column by googling "Dean Schaffer."  Get my point?

Snappy8
Snappy8

My thoughts exactly Cully!

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