Top 10 Reasons Heavy Metal Is Fucking Dead

Categories: Music, Photos

Face it, people: Heavy metal is dead. Over. Done with.

What's that, you don't believe us? Just look at these pictures from the Rockstar Mayhem festival this weekend at Shoreline Amphitheatre, and let us guide you through the top 10 reasons heavy metal is dead.

10. There's no more room for new tattoos.

no-more-room-for-tats.jpg
Christopher Victorio

With loud, heavy, guitar-based music -- as with this guy's body ink -- there are just no more places to go.

9. Even little children aren't scared by it anymore.

even-children-aren't-scared-anymore.jpg
Christopher Victorio

Disturbed? Godsmack? There are scarier characters on Nickelodeon.

8. Girls think it's cool.

hipster-girls-think-its-cool.jpg
Christopher Victorio

Fast approaching: the end.

Location Info

Venue

Map

Shoreline Amphitheatre

1 Amphitheatre, Mountain View, CA

Category: General

My Voice Nation Help
19 comments
chrisirwin71
chrisirwin71

Ok Ok, yes, Metal to me IS Dead, there are so many reasons that after 30 years of my life "fighting" my way through Society, whilst Flying High the Metal Flag, that i have finally, finally gotta state this.

I think that all the Metal Heads that agree with this will be 70's - 80's Metal (mostly) AND, can not bear the Repetitive "death metal"??? ...style vocals that progress to a chorus of lovely "la la la's". 

Ive been on The Metal Quest (Railtrack) from a time to luckely see the NWOBHM to Thrash to Death Metal, and im tellin ye now.. apart from Alice in Chains&Soundgarden, when the 90's hit, i think that it was the beginning of the end. By the way.. the "black album" had a lot to do with our downfall too!!

All in all, Yes!, Europe has a stronger Metal Standing whereas the U.S, seems to "trend" out a lot.. sorry, A LOT, of REPLICA metal..no,no, not METAL, but just an excuse of harmonic loud unharnessed music that these guys try to pass off as Metal.... most probably because they like the "thought" of being "MetalHeads". 

Anyway... who cares?

lokilasher
lokilasher

Whoever wrote this must suck emo dicks-the douchebag dont know WTF he/she/it is talking about

Zimm247
Zimm247

okay, some of this i agree with, but i found some flaws.....1. the girls shown in the picture, are not into real metal....distrubed is not heavy metal.... 2. Metal heads are nice to each other. its a brotherhood, not a cult of fucking assholes. 3. be a real man, and take your frustrations out in the pit on some wanna be teeny bop scene kids

shashikant tiwari
shashikant tiwari

Thanks so much for this. This is awesome post Iever seen on internet. This is rare to find that’s

why difficult to understand. Anyway, you aredefinitely someone that has something to say that people need to hear. Keep upthe good work. Keep on inspiring the people.

For more information regards:

Dished Ends

Binod Lemon
Binod Lemon

Thanks so much for this. This isawesome post I ever seen on internet. This is rare to find that’s why difficultto understand. Anyway, youare definitely someone that has something to say that people need to hear. Keepup the good work. Keep on inspiring the people.

For more information regards:

Asian Catering

Vondeckbar
Vondeckbar

I guess this dip shit writer has no clue as to what is going on in Europe for the last 10 years. Metal is still king! Just look at the attendance numbers and festivals that take place there every summer. The problem in the U.S. is too many stupid, ignorant kids coming up and not thinking beyond what is displayed before them on a silver platter or T.V. They also tend to have the attention span of a gnat! Metal is not for everyone and I prefer it to stay underground and away from the posers who have come and gone like the fair-weathered friends they are. Death to the weak, Metal up your ASS!! Up the Irons!!!!

John Hell
John Hell

I'm thinking that the Melvins and Boris still kick serious ass. There are a lot of metal bands that thankfully, aren't in the mainstream, that are quite amazing. Rock is dead too. So is country. But if you're looking for quality then you have to dig.

Sum One
Sum One

Anyone who classifies Godsmack and Disturbed as "heavy metal" has no business writing about the genre.

Susandeaton
Susandeaton

INDIE ROCK?  WHO HIRES THESE WRITER!

Aliciacrain
Aliciacrain

dear SF weekly WOW U GUYS DNT KNOW MUCH OF ANYTHING DO U this artical is so damn stupid and a waste of internet space the ppl who wrote this dnt know anything bout heavy metal maybe next time u should have ppl who acutaly know wat the hell there talkin bout!!!! this makes SF weekly look so damn stupid not sure ill ever care to read this crap agin gud day

Mike R. Meyer
Mike R. Meyer

Nice troll job, but you probably lost any real metal fans with the words "Rockstar Mayhem Festival." I can't wait for you to go to Vans Warped Tour, snap a few photos of the lemmings there, and promptly declare punk rock dead too.

Sincerely,A former fellow VVM pageview whore

Raelalt
Raelalt

"Dave Mustaine not yet outed as an ...BRAACKK!".Ah.  The cry of the warble-throated Metallica fanboy, as it ponders the reason his group can't come up with anything original anymore.  

Jamesj631
Jamesj631

the no no fat chicks t shirt is  as metal as it gets these days

Flemingrandolph
Flemingrandolph

Reasons why prototype metal band  Cream's  drummer , Ginger Baker , considered most all 'rock' to be crap.

Don Freeman
Don Freeman

Agreed.  Once any type of music gains commercial appeal the corporations take it over and fuck it up.  Remember "Hair Metal", *shudders*.

Flemingrandolph
Flemingrandolph

Your comment is succinct and very pointed. Says it all.

shashikant tiwari
shashikant tiwari

Thanks so much for this. This is awesome post I ever seen oninternet. This is rare to find that’s

why difficultto understand. Anyway, you are definitely someone that has something to saythat people need to hear. Keep up the good work. Keep on inspiring the people.

For more information regards:

Metal Spinning

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Drink

San Francisco Event Tickets
©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.
Loading...