Exclusive: Rebecca Black's Secret Debut CD Tracklist!

Rebecca Black is giving you five seconds to get out of her moment.

​In her brand-new single "My Moment," YouTube superstar Rebecca Black continues her great artistic project: applying the stream-of-consciousness narrative mode to pop-songs built for kickin' it in the bouncy castle.

This time, rather than illuminating the once-murky process that leads a tween to choose where best to chill in a convertible, Black is applying her Proustian technique to her own fame: relishing the certainty that she is just about to "blow up," insisting -- as a professional make-up artist daubs her face-- that she is at last able to be herself, and saying "see you later" to "haters," which is less a kiss-off than a promise. Yes, she will be seeing haters later.

It's not bad, but its professional gloss betrays the dim-bulb chipperness of "Friday." The only thing here that comes close to those glories is the moment in the video when a tween pal of Black's strikes an electric-guitar power chord just as all the song's instruments drop out save for the synthesizer from Van Halen's "Jump."

Oh, and for some reason she sings "It's my time, flying high, lime, mine."

Anyway, SF Weekly finagled a copy of the secret tracklisting to Rebecca Black's upcoming CD, titled I, Rebecca Black, Am Singing the Story of My Life as it Happens.

1. "My Moment"
2. "I Am Singing the Second Song on My CD"
3. "The Third Song on a CD is Usually the Best, So I Am Very Happy Right Now"
4. "I Am Nodding Politely While My Producer Tells Me What To Do"
5. "There's This Weird Random Rapper Driving in My Video"
6. "Sometimes I Wonder Why I Walk to the Bus Stop When I've Already Made Arrangements For My Friends To Pick Me Up" 
7. "Has Somebody Already Sung About How You Shouldn't Eat An Orange After Brushing Your Teeth?"
8.  "This is the Eighth Song, So I Think Maybe the CD is Almost Over Now?"
9.  "Wait, I've Never Owned a CD in My Life"
10. "If This is My Moment, It's a Good Thing I Seem Reasonably Well Adjusted, Because People Who Peak in Junior High Tend to Wind Up Kind of Sad"
11. "Because This is the Last Song, I Will Sing Slowly and Hold a Note Longer Than Usual" 
12. "This is My Bonus Track For Amazon"

Then, in the years to come, look for her follow-ups: I Am Recording a Follow-Up CD (2013), Guys, It Would Help Me Out a Lot if You Actually Buy This One (2015), Here's Another, Even Though My Guess Is It Will Be a Few More Years Before You Are Nostalgic for Me (2017), and Standards . . .The American Songbook, Vol. 1 (2020). 

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Follow Alan Scherstuhl on Twitter at @studiesincrap, SF Weekly's All Shook Down blog at @SFAllShookDown, and like us at Facebook.com/SFAllShookDown.