Five Reasons Limp Bizkit Sucks Less Than You Remember (No, Seriously)

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​Okay, everyone. Calm down. We know, we know.

While we can't say we were surprised to hear that Limp Bizkit's new album sucks something terrible, it's also undeniably true that, once upon a time, for a very short time, those nookie-obsessed Floridians were kind of awesome.

Yes, there was that whole Christina Aguilera thing, not to mention the savagery of the crowd during the band's performance at Woodstock 1999. But still, we think they deserve another look and at least some minor praise. Here's why.

5. Bizkit's cover of "Faith" is way better than the original.
George Michael conceived "Faith" as a tune about desire and romantic frustration, but the delivery is whitebread through and through. Limp Bizkit's version on 1997's Three Dollar Bill Yall$ unleashes the raw, visceral anger that was already there, buried beneath Michael's polished pop voice. Fred Durst may be miles behind him as a singer, but Durst's impassioned, wild delivery more than makes up for it.

4. Bassist Sam Rivers is solid.
Some argue that Limp Bizkit had no musical talent. Rivers is proof to the contrary. "Re-arranged" off 1999's Significant Other was the "Seven Nation Army" of the late '90s -- it has one of the best and most memorable rock basslines of its time. John Otto makes a reasonably good case for his chops on drums, too.

3. The band succeeded despite Fred Durst.
It's hard to do well in the music business as it is, and it doesn't get any easier when your frontman is loud, obnoxious, untalented, and prone to publicly threatening journalists.

And yet, Limp Bizkit was wildly successful: Significant Other went platinum seven times. 2000's Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water also did extremely well, despite being nowhere near as good. Maybe the whole world was crazy for buying Bizkit's albums, or maybe something about them was good enough to make us overlook Durst's egomaniacal behavior and douchebag tendencies, at least for a little while.

2. Significant Other is a killer album.

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A far cry from this year's Gold Cobra, this album is more than an aggro-rock thrasher, with vocal cameos by Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots on "Nobody Like You" and Method Man on the entirely underrated (albeit stupidly titled) "N Together Now." Other highlights include "Just Like This" and "I'm Broke."

1. We all just feel guilty for having liked them and are now overcompensating.

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​When you like someone and that someone turns out to be a total turd, you regret it. Sometimes you even pretend you never liked that person in the first place and, in fact, have hated him from the start.

Sound familiar?

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Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown, follow Dean Schaffer @deans55, and like us at Facebook.com/SFAllShookDown.


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7 comments
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TheRantDFW
TheRantDFW

Nope...they actually sucked worse than I thought. When Wes Bourland left the honeymoon was over. ReArranged - Their best song. Faith is decent. Chocolate Starfish? Awful.

@theRantDFW:twitter 

MrEricSir
MrEricSir

Awful, unlistenable crap. When the radio started playing them nonstop, I got myself an MP3 player and gave up on the radio for good.

Mrdiddy420
Mrdiddy420

is it really that hard to understand limp bizkit.. they have said it time and time again that they themselfs that they arnt a serious band. its a fun band that helps get your mind off the work day. not to mention they are one of the best live bands ever. Its all about their live shows. instead of feeding off what other media outlets say about durst.. do some research yourself. Have u actually met him? hes all about the fans, hes a lot more mellow then he used to be. i mean when ur 30 and your the #1 band in the world at that time, your gonna get a little cocky, listen to his interviews now compared to then. hes changed. And when u talk about talent you forgot Mr. Borland.. u also said they made it even with durst... there is no LB without durst. he produces the music and writes all the lyrics. 

Dominiondancing
Dominiondancing

So long as were defending the indefensible how about an article on genocide and date rape?

Hjgk
Hjgk

Whats the point of even writing crap articles like this?

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