Limp Bizkit's Gold Cobra: A Catalog of Disaster

Categories: First Listens
bizkitcobra.jpg
Why did I choose to subject myself to Limp Bizkit? Because with the myriad of styles coming back -- think LinnDrum R&B ballads featuring on Bon Iver and Frank Ocean releases; the meaty '90s alt of Yuck and Male Bonding; the retrospective thrash metal of Kylesa -- it seems just about every era and genre has been resurrected of late. Fuck, Dirty Beaches married Elvis' rockabilly to David Lynch motorik ambience. In other words, it's become rare to hear what true irrelevance sounds like. I wanted to experience what rap-metal is in 2011, which, hard as I pretend, probably does not sound like Sleigh Bells. So instead, here's a song-by-song tour through our first listen to Limp Bizkit's new album, Gold Cobra.

Introbra
A screaming girl at 0:08. That's how far into a Limp Bizkit album it takes to posit a suffering female as art. I thought the intro was meant like "Intro, bra," like they're frat guys, but then I realized it's a play on "cobra." Practicing early for Scribble Jam?

Bring It Back
Fred Durst cannot rap now even more than he could not rap before, which should make him more appealing to fans of his not-rapping. Is that how the logic goes? His new cadence is triple-nerdy, and the little divots of speed-rapping are stumbles. He pronounces "danger zone" the way Archer makes fun of people who say "danger zone." Durst sounds thin and weird; whether or not you think he's the biggest asshole in the world, you notice the missing heft. One thing New Limp Bizkit can do that no other band can is put Old Limp Bizkit in perspective.

Gold Cobra
Again, Fred's high new twang is not a plus. "It's so golden, y'all," he chants on the chorus. "Aggravated"/"Man I hate it," he rhymes in the verse. "Nuttin'" and "playa," he pronounces in strange tongue. "My Way," he rips off, echoing buildup bridge and all. John Otto's bass whomp and Wes Borland's dentist-drill whine, though -- they'd do a real rapper some good. In 2000.

Shark Attack
Not just "Another one of those days," but also "straight to your fucked-up ass," the band recycles two or three Bizkit chestnuts of olde ("Break Stuff," "Hot Dog"), and puts them in a nauseating blender while fighting the real enemy: chumps who "talk trash in pajamas." "Watch them get smoked like a cig," Durst wordplays proudly. "While you get robbed like a zombie." If Nicki Minaj said, "while you get robbed -- zombie" I'd laugh. Comedy is all editing.

Get a Life
You get the idea from these titles that this is -- what else? -- a concept album about Limp Bizkit's hate mail. Which is not to be confused with any other Limp Bizkit album. "They're just hating cuz I motherfucking made it!" exclaims the Hatted One. Actually, I think they're hating because the lines, "If you don't like it you should scratch up on these nuts, bitch/Polar bear ain't a cracker you should fuck with" are terrible.

Shotgun
The single, I reckon, because there's almost a melody. How the shitty have fallen; I hate Gold Cobra because it's forcing me to retrospectively praise the importance of Fred Durst's singing. "That's the sound of a shotgun," Fred points out after the sound of a shotgun. "In my neighborhood, everybody's got one." Okay, buddy.


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48 comments
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Wwfan358
Wwfan358

Romez 666 is right. They have a couple Artois songs like walking away, the truth, my way, nobody like you ft jonathon Davis, stalemate and counterfeit. Fred has said multiple times he doesn't try to be serious

Lestat319
Lestat319

Dan Weiss is a fucking dumbass, get a life, do something productive and get off fred's nuts.

Jerry Muzu
Jerry Muzu

Hi Guys,

Limp Bizkit are back after a long break with Gold Cobra andwe here at Muzu TV areloving the song. The video is great too and we def missed them! Check it outRightHere!! . What do you guys think of it?!

 

Make sure you look at our Limp Bizkit Channel Here !! Full of exclusive content!! 

 

Happy Watching!

livinitup
livinitup

What a terribele review,you clearly don't know what LB is and will always be about and expected them to start putting out meaningful and deep music/lyrics in 2011. You're an over-serious elitist moron, so unable to enjoy music made just for fun,u gotta have had problems in your life that prevent u from appreciating this kind of songs. Long live immature bands like Limp Bizkit,who genuinely don't give a fuck about anyone in the world and stayed true to who they are,not fitting in any kind of shit that's "IN" at the moment!

DYLAN THOMAS NEWMAN
DYLAN THOMAS NEWMAN

the comment below me is so on-point.  these guys are characters and so is their band, its all a production, and a fun one.  this type of music is a vent, an angry rant that is too powerful and spontaneous for its creators to ponder over lyrics.  here, the music doesnt focus on any message or melody, its about the feeling!  simply put, if limp bizkit had a singular face, it would be the "troll face", and it would be staring straight at Dan Weiss through the glass of the quaint little coffee shop he begins his stress-free life at everyday.

InsideTheCynic
InsideTheCynic

Wow, that's what I call an unbiased review. I did laugh though.

Mariel777
Mariel777

I looked billboard hot100, there is a real trash douchebag music..

But ...Long awaited GOLD COBRA is out ... Beware, beware Dan. you can't bring them down .. As you see, no one like you ( how does it feel - does it ring a bell..)

Makeloveyou
Makeloveyou

LMAO----------> "Nuttin'" and "playa," he pronounces in strange tongue. ~Who is this reviewer a 65 year old rasict prick fuck? I cant even read anymore...Im laughing too hard. This album is great and any LB fan is going to love it! LIMP IS BACK!

terrible
terrible

terrible review, take your personal feelings out of it and listen to the music.  I think you only mentioned other band members who arent Fred a handful of times and even called the John Otto the bassist.  Learn your band before you review it. If you didnt like it, cool, explain why you dont subjectively and not in a way that sounds like an elitist prick.

Twanman76
Twanman76

Yeah, you pretty much can't do this job correctly.  I'd say you need to check yourself before wreck yourself....cuz it's so golden ya'll!  Lick these balls and learn whats up playa!~

print house
print house

It's not a good review..it's a horrible review...

Oligarchio
Oligarchio

Somewhere in Beverly Hills, Fred Durst finishes off another $400 bottle of champagne and thinks to himself "Thank god there will always be 12-year-olds," but not in a Michael Jackson kinda way.

Adamant0519
Adamant0519

What a truly horrible review. I bet there's nothing more depressing, than trying to fit by hating a music group, then finding out everyone actually hates you more. That's gotta burn. Candy ass

Søren Oliver Due
Søren Oliver Due

What the fuck was that? Someone please, please fire this cunt called Dan Weiss. You don't fucking review material you haven't got a living clue about, and don't even like! You think Fred is immatute, unprofessional and a loser. No sir, YOU ARE!

gold cobra
gold cobra

haha it's always amusing to see people who think they are cool because they hate limp bizkit. this guy has obviously always hated limp bizkit (and specifically fred durst) and he definitely hated this album before he even heard it. and he also clearly doesn't understand that limp bizkit, and specifically fred durst's lyrics are not meant to be taken seriously. music doesn't always have to be deep and meaningful, it can just be fun. so why does this elitist prick feel the need to write a review? oh right because he needs to reassure himself that he's cool. it's kinda sad, really.

lmbl
lmbl

im with you dan. limp bizkit is retarded and stupid, which is pretty much all i have to say about their fans.

Lukewoodward
Lukewoodward

lol ur a dick man. This is Limp Bizkit as all limp bizkit fans know them. If youve never liked them why review the album? dick

Harvey Wallbanger Jr.
Harvey Wallbanger Jr.

Holy shit, that was the worst review ever. Who did you blow to get this gig? If you thought the album was not very good and thought your readers would not like just say so. The personal feelings should be left out isn't that what a good journalist does? I have been a LB fan since day one and look forward to catcthing them live. I hope this album does well for them and pisses you off in the process 

Cory Tendering
Cory Tendering

Yeah, Dan- hook line and sinker.  Sucker.  Who the eff is this guy?  Can't they just be bad music and that's what you hate them for?

Robo
Robo

Gold Cobra is a great album, you're just bitter probably because you were beaten up by a thuggish LB "fan" back in 2001. Get a life loser.

Frank Lukacovic
Frank Lukacovic

Limp Bizkit doesn't take themselves seriously and neither should so-called "reviewers".  The album is exactly what I expected and wanted out of them.  Stayed true to themselves and delivered a solid effort.  Some of the riffs are just crazy from Wes.  Great CD to jam out to.  I you look past Fred Durst, which many find annoying, Limp Bizkit is very talented musically.  

Daverowntree_0010
Daverowntree_0010

I listened to this album last night from start to finish and enjoyed it all! The fact is Fred durst writes lyrics to sing along to, he writes about smoking weed in "Shotgun" yet he is completely honest to the publiv that he never touches the stuff. Btw the bassist is Sam Rivers, and I'm afraid you obviously have no idea what Limp Bizkit are about...Go to a show sometime and stand with a set of limp bizkit fans and try to not enjoy the show, because they are by far the most fun I've ever seen live and there is still a place in the world of music's heart for this band! To add they are all amazing musicians and Fred is a terrific front man, I refer to my earlier comment go see them live.

Psychospiker
Psychospiker

Dan Wise let this review be the last one you ever write. Worst reviewer ever. Clearly you let your hatred for this band overcloud you to even try like the songs. I would say fred durst needs to work on his lyrics, everything else was fine. Its actually a cool album. What i said right there, makes more sense then everything you just wrote in the review. Jack up man and listen to the album one more time without that hatred thought you have in your head about limp bizkit.

xNes
xNes

You give the negative review, while they make millions.......

Nino
Nino

This is the worst review I've ever read. Does this guy know what is he talking about? This is not a review, it's just hate without reason. Weird.

Aman Singh
Aman Singh

ur an ass man....nd dats me being subtle....d album is gr8...if u dont like d kind f music then dont fuckin listen 2 it..

Jacko32322
Jacko32322

 lol someone please fire this retard. The credibility of your site is in jeopardy.

Happy
Happy

This can't even be considered a review. Amateur is amateur.

Limp Bizkit Fan
Limp Bizkit Fan

You are an awful, awful reviewer. You take cheap shots and personal attacks and for the most part ignore the music. Fred Durst has said a million and one times they dont take themselfs nearly as seriously as you'd like to make them out to be. They are having fun making fun music, relax and enjoy it.

Michael Blayney
Michael Blayney

 So, they're allowed to suck because they don't take themselves seriously? How does that make sense/

Andrew Schawl
Andrew Schawl

It's all subjective.  You think they suck, other people like them/this album.  The same can be said about pretty much any band or artist that exists.  The only fact found here is that they don't take themselves seriously.  How is that a fact?  The band has said this before.  They're not trying to be the next Radiohead or Slayer.  They enjoy what they do, and a lot of people love their work.  And besides, most of the critics thus far have praised the album.  If Gold Cobra were rated by the tomatometer, Dan's opinion would be very much outweighed by other people who get paid to express theirs.  

TD
TD

So since when were reviews based on the singer? Because instrumentally this album is a 100% insane classic.

Stewboss
Stewboss

The negative review is fine, everyone has their opinion. However the standard of writing found in this review is simply appalling. Personal attacks are just cheap. Learn how to construct a sentence and review the actual MUSIC then come back to us. I hope you don't get paid for this.

met388
met388

>John Otto's bass whompLearn before you post.

russ2004
russ2004

hahahah ahhhhhh this mofo im thinking he is a indie waldo looking indivdual. some1 fire this guy. he is the person giving reviews??? what  makes his opinion the elitist opinion of all time. this guy does not speak for everyone. limpbizkit live shows r insane. bottom line. go back to coachella indie emo bs. i love new lb. welcome back limpbizkit. ill be at bestbuy on the 28th buying that cd. on the real. mad respect to limpbizkit. see u guys at epicenter n irvine ca. moshpits r gonna b siccc as fk

Michael Blayney
Michael Blayney

 Based on your writing I would say you're Limp Bizkit's target audience.

Antdzero
Antdzero

_____ |_ _| n (O O) n H _|\_/|_ H nHnn/ \___/ \nnHn <v \="" v="" vv=""> \__/| |/__/</v>

TD
TD

Let me guess, you're a Lil Wayne fan?

Romez_666
Romez_666

At least your boyfriend still loves you.

Nikos
Nikos

this guy is a absolute dick.... 

Youarentbuiltforit
Youarentbuiltforit

PS- Your mom didn't suck in a spectacularly interesting way but you don't hear me complaining.

Youarentbuiltforit
Youarentbuiltforit

Clearly another indie music loving, metrosexual, hipster douche bag. Stick to positively reviewing bands that make you seem cooler because no one knows who they are. Anyone enjoying this album knows what they're listening to. I don't think anyone will buy this that doesn't know who Limp Bizkit isor isn't a fan of that scene.  As far as irrelevancy goes...well, I found this bullshit review pretty irrelevant.

JBO
JBO

What the HELL was that????!!!???? Do you even listen to rock music??? Or even rap music? You thought Getcha Groove On was good??? Wow, how did you get a job here.

Romez_666
Romez_666

The only people that hate this band are the ones that take them seriously. And you have fallen hook, line and sinker, Dan.

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