Is SpongeBob-Beating Ad Rock the Coolest Man Alive? (Why, Yes. Yes, He Is.)

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Don't you know that crime doesn't pay, SpongeBob?

​This week, Ad Rock proved that not only is he still one of the coolest men in music, he's actually probably one of the coolest humans alive.

For the record, we thought the Beastie Boys had used up their 2011 cool quota with the mind-blowing, cameo-strewn video for "Fight for Your Right (Revisited)" in April -- arguably one of the greatest music videos of all time. If you haven't seen it yet, find a spare thirty minutes and watch this -- all of this:



But no, Ad Rock went above and beyond the call of duty this week by getting into an altercation on a New York subway train -- with SpongeBob SquarePants (which feels a little bit like an out-take from the "Intergalactic" video). SpongeBob -- or rather the shady criminal hiding inside a SpongeBob suit -- tried to rip off Rock by accusing him of breaking his watch, then demanding money. What was Mr. Rock's response? Bemusement? Amusement? Panic?

Nope. He just said: "Fuck you, SpongeBob." Which is surely one of the most surreal and bizarre declarations of disgruntlement ever uttered on a subway train.

Then, just out of the goodness of his heart, the man also known as Adam Horovitz stuck around to take photos, after Squarepants got busted trying to steal someone's phone. Then he posted the whole marvelous debacle on the Beasties' Tumblr account.

We didn't know it was possible to love him anymore than we already did, but this is above and beyond.

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The greatest thing about the Beastie Boys is that Mike D, MCA, and Ad Rock remain in a world of their own, and yet somehow always current at the same time. Eight albums in, and nothing about them is stale or old or boring. They are all in their forties and they are still edgy, influential humans -- quite a feat considering their 1986 debut, Licensed to Ill, was largely dismissed as a disposable novelty when it came out.

So let's give props to Ad Rock for being the most memorable dude in a trio of awesome dudes; for taking his heart, wide-eyed enthusiasm, and distinctive nasal twang and giving it to the world; and yes, for indulging in surreal absurdities for so long that getting into a fight with SpongeBob on the train doesn't even faze him. Respect, Mr. Rock. Respect.

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