Six Child Musicians It's Okay to Like. No, Really.
Remember that guy in OutKast who isn't Andre 3000? Big Boi is his name. Well, he's just announced some musical news that will probably make you frown, curl up your top lip, and ask a bemused "But why?"
That's right! Try not to recoil at the fact that Big Boi has started a record label (alongside his 16-year-old daughter), exclusively for kids' music. It's called Purple Kidz, and its first signing is a 12-year-old named Gabbie Rae. But, before we judge and jump to conclusions, let's consider for a moment the possibility that this might not be as bad as it sounds. Dude is in OutKast! Which is great! Maybe if he has a label for them, tweens will be more likely to get off the American Idol/Bieber circuit and onto something ... less crappy.
So, in honor of Purple Kidz, here's our list of six child artists it's okay to like.
- Kriss Kross
If you can get past the fact that their clothes are on backward (we are aware that this is asking a lot), this song is totally awesome. In fact, we'd go so far as to say it beats out House Of Pain's "Jump Around" for Best Jumping-Related Anthem of All Time. Look at their angry little faces! Kids got swagger.
- (Li'l) Michael Jackson
The older he got, the more of an acquired taste he became. But back when Michael was just starting out -- before the plastic surgery disasters, (alleged) inappropriate activities with young boys, and bizarro God complex -- he was just a teeny-tiny ball of unfeasibly impressive talent, all wrapped up in horrifying clothes (in this clip he's wearing the sun around his neck and a cactus on his leg -- lovely!) and a sweet, sweet Afro. If you don't like this song, your heart is cold and dead. Fact.
The reason it's okay to like (old-school) Menudo is because it is hilarious. The vocals are weak, the outfits are deplorable, and the videos are consistently mind-blowingly awful. But the combination is absolutely can't breathe, rolling on the floor, laugh-your-ass-off hilarious. Just ignore all those later line-ups, including the one that formed in 2007. They're also terrible, but not funny in the least.
- Willow Smith
Willow Smith sounds almost exactly like Rihanna -- but she's only 10. Ten! Think of what this sassy, bedazzled superchild can do in future if she's this good now. Because "Whip My Hair" is -- sorry, this does need to be said -- one of the catchiest pop releases of last year. And before you all start in with arguments about how she's got an advantage because of her parents, just take a minute to consider how truly awful their music is. Both of them might be fine actors, but Will Smith's music is largely useless, and Jada Pinkett Smith's is nothing short of an abomination (if you're not already in the know, Google Wicked Wisdom and prepare to have your day ruined). So, if you think about it, Willow has actually overcome some obstacles!
- Musical Youth
A song made by children that is still listened to almost exclusively by stoners. That's a feat, people. Especially when the song is actually about poverty. Extra points must go to Musical Youth for making the most British music video in the history of the world. Thanks, kids. This is ace.
- New Edition
Because New Edition represents a time before Bobby Brown was ... well, Bobby Brown. If you know what we mean. Look how cute they are in their little leather bondage hats. Bless.
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