In Case You Were Wondering, Jello Biafra Hates S.F.'s High-Tech Geeks and "Shitty Indie-Pop Bands"

jello-biafra-guantanamo.jpg
Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine
Jello Biafra, the former high-pitched voice of Dead Kennedys, isn't known for holding his tongue. Whether he's helming a punk rock band, running his Alternative Tentacles label, or even just speaking onstage, the guy always has something -- usually fierce and frequently controversial -- to say.

See: The first song from the upcoming EP by Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine titled "Dot Com Monte Carlo," in which Jello rails against various local injustices: the presence of too many high-tech geeks, the popularity of shitty indie-pop bands, and the appearance of valet parking signs on Valencia Street. Whether or not you agree, the lyrics paint a brutal, outraged, and darkly comic picture of contemporary San Francisco. They're also disturbing in another way: At one point, Jello seems to be calling on Mission gangs to kill yuppies in drive-by shootings. Really.

The lyrics to "Dot Com Monte Carlo" in full:

Where did they come from Why are they here? Hi-tech piranhas With Bluetooth barnacle ears

Living breathing biohazards
Spit their money in everyone's face
Worship all these shitty indie-pop bands
Babies in cigar bars
Trying to play Gatsby

They want us gone
Close the clubs
We might disturb their lofts

Dot com Monte Carlo
Dot com Monte Carlo

Where's the gangs in the Mission
When you need em?
How 'bout some yuppie drive-bys
For a change?

Never knew geeks
Could be so damn mean
Artists and workers
Bulldozed out by the thousands
Can't afford to be black
Or teach school in this town
My vet had to relocate
To his garage

Where can we go
Oakland, then Portland, then L.A.?
Their Gold Rush immolated like Pompeii
But they're back!

Dot com Monte Carlo
Yuppie San Francisco
Nowhere left to go
We got news for you

Kook City
Proud of it
You and Nancy Pelosi
Can go straight to hell

Valet parking signs on Valencia
Wanna chase those twits
Down the street with a chainsaw
Trespass their restaurants
Swipe the food off their plates
Til' they hit me
Then smear them with honey
And release thousands of bees

Look at the giant middle finger
They put up by the Bay Bridge
50 floors of luxury condos
Just for them
They're trying to put up more and more
On slippery landfill
So when the big quake comes
We'll drink a toast
Dance in the streets
And watch it all fall down

Timber
Timber
Timber... Die!

Not much room left for equivocation there, eh?

UP NEXT: Explaining the references, and hear a version of Jello's song.


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46 comments
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D.B.
D.B.

Lately, Jello looks like he's been spending more time eating cake than writing songs.

The Rooster
The Rooster

Whats so damn disturbing about a drive by on some yuppies? Alright for the blacks and dinks to blow themselves a way but the moment bullets fly through one of those goddamn coffee bars watch out! You crazy! I hate yuppies, and indie pop. I am a nerd though. But fuck it, go Jello.

jesus
jesus

well here's what i say: PUNK IS DEAD

Guilty
Guilty

Punk IS dead, indeed.

Jello's inability to engage empathetic legions from the ranks of the beyond GenX folks is directly related to the corporate sanctioning of anti-establishment culture.

Its a classic headfake. What, exactly, IS the punk ethos tgese days? Who are the braintrust? The thought leaders? Do they wear skinny jeans and post on facebook?

I think jello's most insightful quote ever: punk will be dead when it is sponsored by corporations.

Uhhh. Hmmm.

Please pass the punk fucking rock mayonnaise.

William Moore
William Moore

So you live your life in your skinny jeans and be ok that Jello B. hates you for his own immature view on progress. Or you are so into the 'old' San Francisco your bowling shirt with flames has actually lit on fire.

No matter what side of the fence you are on, you got problems if this article pissed you off.

Mr. Nice
Mr. Nice

Poor, poor misunderstood yuppies. Jello said something mean about you. It's enough to just make a grown man just want to break down and cry. Oh please Jello, don't be a hater. Don't you know it's nice to be nice to the nice? https://www.facebook.com/pages...

John Smoth
John Smoth

neutral milk hotel is complete shit

Anonymous
Anonymous

The asspain from all the indie hipster douchebags makes my cock hard.

Punkrocker54
Punkrocker54

why are you upset at jello biafra saying nasty things about yuppies? he's been doing it for 30 years-have you HEARD "chemical warfare"?

William Irving
William Irving

Or "I Kill Children" for that matter. "Lynch the Landlord" etc..  Preaching to the choir I know.

Ashleigh
Ashleigh

you guys are just upset because it's YOU he's talking about

Masshole
Masshole

There's one undeniable fact whether you like Jello's song or not... It's art... If it wasn't, we wouldn't be here arguing about it. Long life Jello- you rock...

Ken Wehaddababyitsaboy
Ken Wehaddababyitsaboy

Think for yourself, blah blah. He's just attention whoring. He knows his time is up. His fifteen minutes are long gone. He's nobody anymore. He hates all these "high-tech geeks", right? THEN WHY IS HE A GUEST AT *EVERY* HOPE (Hackers On Planet Earth) CONVENTION? It's simple, his FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME ARE UP! The times have changed, and teenage kids and young adults no longer need to be told to think for themselves. They just follow everyone else and disrespect everyone and everything in modern day. I'd say, don't think (or not think) the way anyone else wants you to think, except for yourself. This includes me. Don't believe a word I say. That's only my opinion. I've out-lived and out-trolled (offline and online) many people... but I've learned that you eventually have to grow up as soon as angst stops paying off in the immediate. The difference between The Sex Pistols, The Ramones and Jello Biafra is: the Pistols' members who survived up to this point did it as an act... and they grew up after their moment in the sun was up; The Ramones grew up in tough neighborhoods but kept it real their whole lives; Jello Biafra still acts like he's twenty-something and has this big following of people who want to be like him. He's 53, and still holding on to straws, wanting desperately to be a modern-day counter-culture hero. He's not telling you anything you didn't already know from the time you reached puberty, and he's not telling you anything different than he was in 1978.

Repo Man
Repo Man

Yep... DK's Frankenchrist was a regular staple in my punk rock bedroom back when I was a passionate, smelly, clueless teen. Nowadays that same album pisses me off. Time has proven Biafra was nothing more than an angry attention-seeking whore. He only told (sold) us one side of the story. Deep down, he desperately wants to have everything the rich, privileged yuppies do without appearing to be just like them or learn how to code in C#. Singing about the problems of the world is a cheap shot. FIXING them is what separates the boys from the men. How about some solutions, pal? After 53 years the best you can come up with is doing drive-by shootings? Go fuck yourself Biafra. In the 80's I'd have called you a brother but I'm not drinking your rancid Kool-Aid anymore.

Slappy
Slappy

...and you're a big Mitt Romney supporter, right?

Why?
Why?

Thats an awful long comment for someone whose "15 minutes" were up 30 years ago. Why do you pay attention to him then???

jamesbrummel
jamesbrummel

Ummm, satire?  "A Modest Proposal", anyone?  Hello?

Gofygure
Gofygure

I guess Kill the Poor revealed Jello to be a bloodthirsty, genocidal fiend also?

Seriously, there's no reason to take a man who spent his whole life building a wall of hyperbole so seriously...

Bay Area Gooners
Bay Area Gooners

Love him or hate him he's spot on about the toll the dot-com blight has taken on San Francisco's artistic community.

Ed
Ed

Kinda reminds me of when Hunter S. Thompson's career was going downhill & he was no longer relevant, but kept trying to do the crazy-angry-gonzo journalism thing. Then he shot himself.

Guest
Guest

Way to sum up the life of one of Americas greatest journalist/authors.  What have you done that's so great and relevant Ed?

Guest
Guest

Do you really think that this is an offensive track or are you just upset that you're the target.  Back in the day did you think cop killer was offensive or did you think it was just a song that a bunch of people overreacted too. Get over yourself he's just saying you suck he's not saying people should kill you.  

Marco
Marco

i always say to the young indie-pop kids...punks dead too bad you missed it!

Punkrocker54
Punkrocker54

and like i say to every other person who says that, thanks for helping resurrect it.

Slappy
Slappy

no, it's definitely dead. Once it was a relevant movement. Now it's just a style

Maxquint95
Maxquint95

I don't really think Mr. Biafra would like to have people killed...it's simple dark humor or pseudo-sarcasm, with a certain measure of truth behind his music. And knowning Jello's style, it's meant to be offensive...

Pong_199
Pong_199

Like this is the first time Biafra has advocated violence. Why are you surprised? Hes always suggesting radical solutions, mostly facetiously, to bring attention to much less facetious problems. Its pretty much what made people pay attention to him in the first place.

GGB
GGB

Looks like the shock punk of the days gone by degraded some braincells - in particular the ones pertaining to what not to publicly say - lest being taken in custody for hate speech..

Anonymous
Anonymous

We don't have hate speech laws here in the USA you hypocritical fucking FAGGOT.

Spacetaxi
Spacetaxi

he's gay you STUPID DICK HEAD...why you saying the word faggot for???????

Bill Goode
Bill Goode

You're taking this all way too literally. Just about everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt. This is the same guy who wrote a song about stealing chemical weapons and setting them off in a country club. With this much hand wringing about what are clearly hyperbolic lyrics it's no wonder the rest of the country doesn't take you NorCal folk too seriously.

Tipper Smore
Tipper Smore

 I like Jello But it's the same tired old shit, Plus he hasn't lived in SF for years. 

Russdaren
Russdaren

really? where does he live? I see him at shows quite frequently. He must live someplace in the bay area. I certainly wouldnt blame him for moving east of SF, who can afford to live here>

Ktrj40
Ktrj40

I was listening to my Dead Kennedys CDs just today and I came to the realization that everyone and everything just pisses him off and he just goes off on a rant without always thinking (case in point, California Uber Alles followed by the mea culpa remake a year later).  I don't know him personally--maybe he's different in real life--but for somebody who rails against religion and government for their infringements of personal freedom, he sure has no interest in letting people live as they please, and he often finds petty reasons, or creates ridiculous exaggerations, to excuse his reasoning.  It seems to be a common practice--those who most strongly demand one right often turn around and condemn the other rights.

skatz
skatz

throw it away then then. ex punk sellout. on to the next fad, hopefully mass suicide.

Pong_199
Pong_199

Saying you think somethings a bunch of BS isn't the same as denying someone's right to do it regardless.

Kevin Kevinkevin
Kevin Kevinkevin

he's not denying their rights, he wants them to grow a brain of their own and do things for themselves! the same exact thing i'm advocating. THINK FOR YOURSELF. 

Kevin Keel
Kevin Keel

 obviously you're missing the point of what he's doing. ... by a long shot.

he's not being a hypocrite by railing on government or religion, he's doing it so people can have a mind of their own and think for themself. you're exactly the kind of person he's against.  the people who are so deep in the bullshit they accept it all and just go on living like nothings wrong. WELL SOMETHING IS FUCKING WRONG. everyone gives in to the same old bullshit. when will people learn. when will they develop the intelligence to look beyond it and understand people like jello for what he's saying ...

Ian M.
Ian M.

Your failure at differentiating between satire and fact is pretty hilarious.Too bad Mission gangs don't listen to Jello Biafra :(

Sivart13
Sivart13

Well I'm a high-tech geek who loves indie pop bands and hates Jello Biafra, so fair enough.

Anonymous
Anonymous

You also look like a worthless queer. Self terminate immediately.

Spacetaxi
Spacetaxi

"You also look like a worthless queer. Self terminate immediately".....hahahahahahahahahaha...Jello is gay didn't you know that???? So he's probably talking about you too.....how iganorante you are....makes me laugh at you.

skatz
skatz

why did you you even watch this, let alone comment if you hate him? you like the abuse don't you? go back to your sex chat room you skinny jean prescription drug loving brainwashed pasty little tool.

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