Train to Ruin S.F. Giants' Opening Day Game with a Live Performance

Categories: Music + Sports
train-baseball-horror.jpg
Soon to ruin a baseball game near you.
It is with much agony that we report the following:

Train, a pop-rock band that ranks among San Francisco's most regrettable musical products, will perform at this Friday's Opening Day Giants game, thereby extinguishing every drop of pleasure, hope, and civic pride that would otherwise accompany the official start of this post-World-Series-victory baseball season.

Let's be clear: It doesn't matter what the weather's like. It doesn't matter whether the Giants win. Train is performing. Everything is ruined.

Train, of course, is the musical abomination responsible for hits like "Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)" (made for a suburban mall near you!) and "Hey, Soul Sister," empirically judged the worst song of 2010 by the Village Voice and everyone with functional eardrums.

On Friday, Train will attempt to perform the National Anthem, and will also submit a new single -- its entry for the worst song of 2011 -- for public shaming. In a cruel twist of irony, the song is called "Save Me, San Francisco." Considering the desecration that will be wrought by Train's performing, we think the possibility that anyone in this band will be saved by anyone in S.F. is highly unlikely.

Furthermore: Train's publicist claims "Save Me San Francisco" is the "unofficial theme song" of the S.F. Giants (noooooo!) and that it is played "before" every game. We brought this claim to SF Weekly's resident Giants authority, who cannot remember ever hearing the song before. Anyone care to weigh in on this? In other words, please, say it ain't so. This whole time we (happily) thought the Giant's theme song was made by that Ashkon dude.

Now, weakened by our misery, we leave you with this taste of the horrors to come:



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Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown, follow Ian S. Port @iPORT, and like us at Facebook.com/SFAllShookDown.

Location Info

Venue

Map

AT&T Park (Giants' Ballpark)

24 Willie Mays Plaza, San Francisco, CA

Category: General

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20 comments
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Eva
Eva

I strongly suggest that you re assess your comments.  Train, with the amazing voice of Pat Monahan is more talented than you will ever be, and they do not make their living knocking down other peoples talent, or in your case, lack thereof.

paul k
paul k

Wow, this is hilarious. Keep 'em coming, Train fans! What's worse anyway, Train or Journey? Tough competition.

Pamgowran
Pamgowran

What a SICK HATER you are!! Deeply jealous and deeply disturbed! You are a nobody, stupid idiot!!

Buttercup_52369
Buttercup_52369

It is with GREATER agony that I had the unfortunate run in with your stupid hateful blog. Get a life Ian. You suck.

Taltexanna
Taltexanna

I think you are completely "off base" when it comes to the whole day being ruined just because a band you don't like is going to perform. Many, many people do like this band and their are dedicated to their city. The Giants are who you should be exceptionally proud of and your other snotty commentary simply sounds like sour grapes.

lighten up
lighten up

People. This is funny. It's a funny article, ok? San Francisco-- Marina or Mission-- you all take yourselves way too seriously.

Scott
Scott

It is a shame this person felt compelled to write such a hate-filled rant. I can only assume he has not recovered from a horrible childhood filled with pain and suffering. I feel fortunate I don't live in your world. What a terrible place it must be. Go Giants and Go Train!!!!!

sftrain fan
sftrain fan

why such anger? enjoy the music and the WS win you knucklehead

Junjiharlow
Junjiharlow

This is so embarrassing for SF. Train is horrible. That may be the worst song and video I've ever seen. Did he just say "your sweet moon beam, the smell of you in every single dream"? That is just terrible writing. This horrible song has been used in tons of horrible commercials. It's that type of song. If you like Train, and you're from SF, you should move immediately to the Marina and stay there and never come out.

Denearo
Denearo

What a hater. This blogger must know nothing about music. Well, real music anyways, not monotonous melodic drudge with lyrics about cutting themselves due to self-pity. Yikes.

Anyways, Train's great in concert. One of the best covers of "Ramble On" I've ever heard.

notabigfaneither
notabigfaneither

First, the Giants asked Train to perform, Train didn't ask the Giants, so your complaint should be with the Giants. Second, regardless of your opinion of the songs they write, Pat Monahan has a great voice and will deliver a great anthem. Third, also regardless of your opinion, Hey Soul Sister was and is an international hit with millions of downloads and a Grammy win (their second). I would suggest you keep your elitist comments about music to yourself, relax and enjoy the game...(I suppose singing 'Take me out to the Ballgame' is beneath you as well).

Maximus
Maximus

Hahaha FTW! Train = Trainwreck on my sensibilities. I thought Don't stop believing was the un(official) theme song?

Eric Pelly
Eric Pelly

That's not San Francisco in the video either. Blue/white street signs are visible, but they sure did try to make it look like the Mission

Otherdan
Otherdan

SF Weekly will let any moron write a blog, as this serves as proof! This isn't worthy of room on the website. What an idiot! We don't care what YOU think! Go home and watch Glee!

neutral_corner
neutral_corner

Train's publicist has clearly never been to a Giants' game; "Save Me San Francisco" is the "unofficial theme song" of anyone who's never been to San Francisco, but tells everyone in their dyspeptic circle of friends that it's their favorite city.

Steve
Steve

Eat shit trendy hipster

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